Everyone wants to quit in November and February
Written by contributor Anne Bogel of Modern Mrs. Darcy
Before we even began homeschooling, I had the good fortune to hear Susan Wise Bauer’s warning: “Everyone wants to quit in November and February.”
Time has proven her right: these are the months when I feel like we’re just slogging through it, far from the excitement of the semester’s beginning or the relief of its end.
And these are the months when the days are cold and the nights are long, without the sparkle of the holidays. It’s easy to get sick, busy, or just plain stir-crazy.
November and February might not be easy months, but I can survive them a little better if I take the following precautions.
1. Take good care of yourself and your kids.
During these months, I have to remember to take care of my body the best way I know how. (This is the easiest way to make these months better, and the one I’m most likely to skip. Not this year.)
We all know what it takes: eat healthy food, take your vitamins, get some exercise, prioritize sleep.
My kids don’t mind the cold — they love to bundle up and head outside to get some sunshine — but I have to make myself go along, knowing I’m happier when I do.
(If you crave daylight like I do, think about trying a therapy lamp. I waited way too long to give this a try, but I’ve had better winters since I started using one every morning.)
2. Take a break if you need to.
I need to remember that homeschooling is not an endurance contest, and the ability to take breaks as needed is a strategic tool in my toolkit. I shouldn’t be afraid to use it!
And whatever I do, I shouldn’t feel guilty about taking time off. Sometimes taking a step back is the best thing I can do, for my kids and for me.
3. Hit the road.
If we’re already taking a break, we’ll consider a road trip. There’s lots to learn in other locales — near and far — and November and February are inexpensive times to travel.
The first year we homeschooled, we went to the beach in November. We took a week off school, soaked up some sunshine, and spent hours playing outside.
The year after that, we spent the week before Thanksgiving in Chicago. Hotels were cheap, many museums were free, and the city was already decorated for Christmas. Yes, it was cold, but it was worth it.
Of course, even “inexpensive” travel is pricey, and that isn’t in our budget this year. Don’t worry, there are other options.
4. Mix it up.
Sometimes taking a break from our regular curriculum is as valuable as a full stop.
I’m dreaming about spending a week reading kid lit classics or doing science projects. We love to spend the whole morning at the bookstore, or the pet shop. My kids want to visit the zoo and the library and the children’s museum.
These are the months to break out those art supplies we don’t often use (and study some famous painters, if we’re feeling ambitious). We might listen to some new music, read up on composers, and watch Swan Lake on DVD. We’ll bake, play at the park, hike a few trails.
What does your family like to do? These are the months to do it — during school hours.
5. Know you’re not alone.
It was enormously encouraging for me to hear — in advance — that when I felt like quitting, it wasn’t because I was doing this homeschooling thing wrong, and it wasn’t because we’d made a terrible decision to pull our kids out of regular school.
Some months are just hard. If you know that going in, you can prepare accordingly.
How does your family get through November and February?
Originally published on November 13, 2013
Jamie,
Thanks for your thoughts! Last year was our 1st year homeschooling (3rd grade, Kindergarten and he was 2 years old) and I felt like I was at the end of my rope at the end of every day. This year he actually IS in preschool T, W and Th so we thought that would bring more balance and it would also keep us homeschooling. It has DEFINITELY helped, but things are still much more challenging than I ever thought they would be (he is one of those 3 year olds where everything is a battle-from socks to shoes to tags to not playing at all with toys (except he plays so beautifully at others’ homes or at preschool! He’s an angel everywhere except for at home…LOL…) I’m trying to “cram” homeschooling in 3 days a week while he is at preschool and that part goes well, but it is all we do(so nothing else gets done.) I would love to be the mom who incorporates learning into our everyday lives so homeschooling flows more through the day, but with his temperament it has not been possible despite our efforts! Hoping this is just a season and the fact that he is 3 🙂
Three is tough! At least it’s always been tough around here. (Three is charming and adorable and delightful, too, but “tough” is definitely the defining adjective many days!)
My, now 4 yr. old, is the exact same temperment. Very challenging at every step of the day. He is in preschool 2 days and I feel like we try and cram everything into those times and too wish I could create a more flowing “learning all the time” atmosphere in our home. When he is home he gets very angry when we try to do school things. He does not want his own things to do, just wants my undivided attention. One new thing I decided to try is doing more hands on learning type experiences the mornings he is not at preschool like baking, sewing, field trips, going to story hour, craft projects, etc. and then doing more sit down school work once dad is home in the evening and able to either play with him or help with school work while I give him a little one on one time. And I would echo Anne’s sentiments about 3 being tough! But I will say that we have watched our challenging 3 yr. old become more even keeled the longer he is 4. Hang in there!
I love the idea of switching gears for a week. There are days when I feel like if I have to say the definition of a pronoun again I might die. A week of lazy bookstore mornings and other outings might be just what we need!
I do agree that August in the Deep South is really horrid. I have yet to meet a mom who schedules afternoon playmates in August (and sometimes even September). The humidity makes breathing hard for anyone and it’s just terribly oppressive. But as far as wellness and motivation (my oldest is not even three yet), I totally agree with November and February.
Thanks Anne! I will keep my chin up when we start homeschooling in a few years. 🙂
I feel so much better reading all of you posts. Thank you!
This is spot on. This year, for myriad reasons, it seems like finding our rhythm is taking forever and I look at the calendar and start to panic. Plus, in Maine, it’s cold now! Then, I remember to breathe. I remember that education isn’t all about a curriculum and that sometimes just living as a family in the moment is all that is needed.
“Education isn’t all about a curriculum and that sometimes just living as a family in the moment is all that is needed.”
Yes! Exactly this.
This is my first year homeschooling ( my kids are third grade, first grade, a very busy, active, impulsive 5 year old, 2.5 year old and 4 month old), so I haven’t survived a February yet. However, I absolutely adore the Olympics. Love, love, love them! So I am planning to completely ditch our regular curriculum and try to plan a lose unit study around the Olympics for those entire two weeks. Watching them, of course, but also studying the history behind the games, learning about the sports, the countries, etc. Graphing the wins, writing a newspaper about the event. Making recipes from the different countries. Crafts and lots and lots of library books. I absolutely cannot wait!
I know the Winter Olympics only comes around every 4 years. But if this works well to keep is out of a slump, maybe we can do this every year with a differnt topic.
Kate, I love this idea! Sounds like an amazing learning experience AND a great way to beat the winter doldrums at the same time. I wonder if my own kids would be interested….
Thank you so much for this post! We have been having a difficult week, no one is feeling very well and though we could be doing school we just haven’t felt up to it. I was feeling like a failure for not forcing us to do our lessons! Thank you for reminding me it is okay to stop and focus on other things when we need to!
Oh my gosh… I sooo needed this post. We’re in our second year of homeschooling and I do not regret that decision for one teeny tiny second, but some days (or weeks!) I think I’m going to lose my mind and I wonder how on earth we’ll continue this for the next ten years or so. LOL!
Thanks for some perspective and some great ideas. It makes me feel like I’m not alone! 🙂
I loved this post the first time I read it, and I loved it again today. We take care of ourselves by taking December off of “regular subjects.” Crazy I know. A whole month or even six weeks of no school, but it really breaks up our winter. We also have “Grace days” My kids can ask for them or I can claim them. A grace day is where we take a break and try and focus on doing something we will all enjoy together, be it playing with Lego’s or diving into a new chapter book. We may even plan an impromptu field trip. The point is taking time to remember we love home school and we love each other.
I’m so happy I read this before we start homeschooling next year! I’ll remember it, too, come November 2015. 🙂
Totally agree. They are the best months to go. MIs kids have changed schools last year. And we travel in February.
Regards. Mar Villas
I have a new one to add! Have a baby that month! We have a new one in the house as of last weekend that really shakes things up! Science is really easy as you field questions of how the baby gets out of mom’s tummy! And Dad is doing school for the week! Love it!
I felt exactly completely discouraged today and your post expressed how I felt exactly.
My only remaining issue is that I DO feel guilty for not following our usual schedule bc I’m so worried the kids are behind anyway. They’re 9, 7, 4 and 2. We do a set curriculum in the mornings and learning through crafts/cooking/chores/friends/outings in the afternoons. At the moment my kids are reluctant to do the curriculum and everyone’s advice is to let it go for a while but as I said I’m really worried they’re behind already so letting go feels scary.
God bless you, Mia! I think we’ve all been there at at least one time or another. My recommendation would by checking out A Thomas Jefferson Education if you haven’t already done so: http://www.tjed.org It could be the philosophy-shift that gives you a little freedom and breathing room. Take good care!
Thanks for posting this…I don’t feel like giving up, but feel stressed….this is our first year and my 6th grader started out rough then got into the groove and now has reverted back last week. He is taking way to much time to do his studies and its driving me nuts. I to just like Mia feel that if we don’t follow our “schedule” then he/they will fall behind. My 1st grader is loving homeschool, he gets started right away and gets things done. I don’t know if its because my 6th grader spent 5 yrs in public school or what…..
We’ve handling it this month by sewing Christmas decorations, ready for when the tree goes up in December. It’s productive-ish but a nice change of pace from the usual. Napping (when I can sneak it in) is pretty helpful too 😉
I just enrolled my son in public school kindergarten after homeschooling him for the first half of the year. I felt compelled to make this decision because he had a few acquaintances, but not any friends he saw on a daily basis. Driving 30-45 minutes to actives isn’t very practical either. It’s unfortunate that in public, most homeschoolers obsessively talk about how socialized their kids are. I’ve found that behind closed doors, many of them worry that their kids haven’t really made any close friends. Also, I felt it was unfair to say homeschooling was a better option than public school when my son had never been to public school. By trying out both options, one will likely emerge as better, and we can make a more educated decision about schooling options after he has actually tried them.
You can read my post about our decision to quit homeschooling at http://lisabrowndesign.blogspot.com/2014/12/from-homeschool-to-public-school.html
I understand where you’re coming from on the socialization side! This is our first year to homeschool (grades 2 & 5). It’s been a huge blessing…but we’ve had to work very hard to continue our girls’ friendships. And I don’t know that we’re doing it well. Just last week my 2nd-grader came downstairs after bedtime crying because she missed her friends. So we had a playdate this weekend! I know very few backwards, shy homeschoolers…but when your kids so only their siblings, day in and day out, they do miss out on those relationships! Yes, my girls are better friends than they’ve ever been…but they need other friendships too. Yes, they have friends at church, but they only see them twice a week. They are used to being surrounded by friends all day long in public school, and this is quite a change for them. We’re muddling through it, one day at a time!
I’m so glad I came across this article today! I’m seriously thinking God led me here. We’re in our first year of homeschooling (grades 2 & 5 and I have an almost-3-year-old) and I work part-time. It’s been a huge blessing to us, and the girls are doing very well. But February is ALWAYS a tough month for me. Then a job change for my husband (a positive thing) has led to him being out of town for several days at a time, three weeks in a row, in February (a negative thing!). I’m really dreading it. I’m already trying to find small, fun things to do close by to help break up the monotony and gray days…but it helped to read this and know I’m not alone! I’ve not been very good at incorporating science into our days, but we’re way far ahead with spelling…so I was thinking about taking April off of spelling and doing Science intensively. After reading this article, I’m thinking about maybe doing that this month! Hands-on experiments sound really fun right now. Thanks for the encouragement!
I have learned to take it easy in November. We school year-round and our best heads-down work is done in January and June-July. Fall seems like the right time to slow down for us, so I embrace it. We are doing minimal seated work. I love it.
Your article inspired me to think about how I like to avoid burnout! One of my favorite ways to avoid wanting to quit is to focus on learning more myself, especially by finding new ways to approach homeschooling.
Remember to take that vitamin D ! It helps with mood when light is such a precious commodity. Many Americans don’t know they are already low on it as well!
When I feel not enough is getting done with our homeschool, I take a break from our normal to-do lists for a bit and instead do “victory lists “. We write down everything we a Accomplished that day as we do it. Much more satisfying than seeing any unchecked boxes at the end of the day.