An open letter to my non-homeschooling friends

110 Comments

1. funny- i am a non-homeschooling mom (technically) and yet i agree with this. my daughter just started kindergarten (3 hours/day) out of the house- and yet, i find that because i am a very intentional stay at home parent (with two not yet in school)- that this is also true for me. also, in the hours that my daughter is not at school, i am “homeschooling” her – life just looks different when you’re present and not distracted. a lot of people say i need “balance” – but for me, spending time with my kids is that balance…few understand. thanks for the post. xoxo

   1. Erika, you are so right. Even those quiet moments at home are learning. I am trying to work on being more present when I am with my kids too, like you say. Not distracted. Ann Voskamp just did a great post on this: the habit of attentiveness. 🙂

2. this was beautifully said. so often it’s hard to recognize the differences without causing a separation. but that’s all they are: differences. and if we can recognize and understand, that makes such a difference. and creates new ways to relate to one another.
   thanks for sharing this!

   1. Steph
      I so agree so many times I have stated to my “non-homeschooling” moms that we are different and for some reason they think I am saying I am better and spend way more time with my children or that I think I am busier per say, but I am not doing that at all so I love recognizing the differences but putting it in a way that is understanding! I “homeschool” all 5 of my children my little one is 3 but she gets into the mix. LOL and most often some friends think that I am pushing them to the side and I don’t care about our friendship but that is not the case at all.

3. My daughter is just shy of three so while we haven’t started homeschooling yet, I love to hear the perspective of those ahead of me. My mom homeschooled us and I do remember hearing her explain to friends why she wasn’t as available during the week as they thought she would (should) be.

4. This was a beautiful post. Most of my pre-kids friends moved out of state, so it hasn’t really been an issue for me, but I do miss getting together with some friends sans children. It just can’t happen right now, but that’s okay.

5. It had never occurred to me that non-homeschooling parents would even need to be told that you are busy during the day! I only wish that my homeschooling sister-in-law could EVER find a moment for somebody other than her kids. She has three, and has homeschooled them all from the beginning; although I admire her commitment, she’s also the main reason that I am NOT homeschooling (at least, not yet). When she isn’t flogging her kids to do their work, she’s designing their work for the next day or running them to some supplemental activity to make up for the fact that they’re homeschooled. We know that she is up until midnight every day doing this. There are no weekends. There is no respite. There simply isn’t room for anything except homeschooling. We only live 2 hours away, but sometimes, I don’t see her family for a year. And somehow, she doesn’t understand why our families aren’t closer!

   1. the beautiful job of parenting and the life of a homeschooling mama (it is more than a full-time job, on top of regular parenting). I do this myself, so I am compassionate about not having time for friends. There is nothing more amazing than to be able to be with your children on their journey of learning and to be able to be fully present with them throughout the day. Children are only children for so long and the commitment to have them, raise them and homeschool them is huge. Blessings to you and your sister-in-law…

   2. “running them to some supplemental activity to make up for the fact that they’re homeschooled”
      Perhaps there is more information that should be included in what you said and she IS making up for some lack, but the way you worded it rather made it sound like you think homeschooling leaves something to be desired.

      And I’m sure you know that there are different ways to homeschool and that your sister in law isn’t the perfect example of a homeschooling mother. 🙂

      1. Amen:)

   3. I’m sure that you’re sister-in-law is doing what she feels is best. There are a myriad of ways to homeschool. Most don’t look like the thing you’ve described here. For years, we unschooled. For the last 4, we’ve used the Charlotte Mason method. I do no real “planning” other than scheduling our field trips and such. My kids have never taken an outside class. We spend just a few hours per day (9am-Noon) on school work. Our days are free, happy and spent mostly outdoors playing.

   4. go help your sister…be there for her…she needs it. and you do to.
      nothing is better than a sister.

   5. It sounds like she is on the road to burnout. There is no job in the world that should completely shut someone off from the world. Everyone needs variety, whether you are a mom, a fire fighter, or the president. Everyone needs the company of people other than those they “work” with (colleagues, kids, or customers). Everyone needs to take time to nurture themselves as well as others. You cannot produce well-rounded individuals if you are not also a well-rounded individual.

      1. I don’t think that’s what Rachel’s talking about at all, Dee. She’s just saying that her priority during her days is her kids because it’s the job she’s chosen.

6. Well said. Sharing!

   1. Maybe your sister could use some help from you?

7. I’m ambivalent about this post on a few fronts: I am a veteran “unschooling” parent of four now almost grown children–our youngest is 11 and also has spina bifida so, I also have the experience of unschooling a child with a serious disability to add into the mix here. Our decision to unschool came ahead of the children, actually. We shared a simple aversion to sending children off to school when the world around them seemed ample and rich enough to provide them with a complete education if we just stayed out of their way! We’re both University educated and so had a fairly balanced view of the pros and cons of the conventional educational and life paths available and frankly, never had major issues with “school” per se but had a strong preference for more open source learning for ourselves and our kids. We belonged to no homeschooling groups, finding them something of a “like minded ghetto” to quote Eric Utne and again, we preferred that our children make friends the same way we did–by engaging with the world around them, meeting people along the way and allowing relationships to develop organically out of shared interests and affinities. My children had no friends who were homeschoolers and neither did I! I saw no reason to seek out particular groups for sourcing friends–I had my close women friends and those relationships continued to be nurtured and sustained; life is uncertain and I could not have been comfortable making the assumption that these precious people would be there when I got around to them–I have suffered the unexpected deaths of friends and family so my experiences have shaped my sense of living the present moment knowing that there is no other we can be sure of having! My friendships are very important to me and it would never have occurred to me to sideline them for any reason–I view the development of relationship skills, the valuing and nurturing of friendships as well as extended family and community relationships to be essential to the education of my children and those lessons are best taught by example. We had our friends in and around the house all the time! Not daily, but throughout the week, there were friends of all sorts around the place and we enjoyed their company and the many varied viewpoints and experiences they brought into our lives, and they enjoyed us! I lived life alongside my children but that meant my entire life, and theirs. It included my friends and our neighbors and families. The learning went on all the time and I trusted that my kids were, in fact, learning no matter what we were doing, including hanging out for coffee around the dining room table or out by the pond during the appropriate season while the kids ran around and played and explored the outdoors!
   I am not implying that our home was “party central”–my husband and I, and in most respects, all four children are all introverted book worms, artists, musicians and writers but we really do love the people around us and want to spend time with them–for me, for us, learning did not preclude the presence of others outside the family but rather included them enthusiastically and the educational benefit to our children in meeting and interacting naturally and comfortably with so many talented, intelligent and creative people who lovingly extended themselves to us as a family was, and is, incalculable. We also spent many a long and wonderful day completely on our own and that was fine too. I was a home birth midwife during all the years my children were being born and raised and we often had clients in our home, or we had to head out to a clients home for a prenatal check up etc. so, there was within the context of our lives a commitment to wholeness–to being engaged fully with the world and the people around us while being absolutely confident that learning was happening and that much of it came serendipitously and delightfully through moments and hours spent in the company of the people we met and those who are our beloved friends and family.

   1. as a future 2nd generation homeschooler I feel like you’re describing my growing up as you write about raising your children. I do think that times have shifted… not ness for the better or worse, but they are different. You are considered a homeschooling pioneer like my mom was… today so much is offered in ways of support and networking and the social scene is just different now. I could argue that there are both pros and cons in that regard. But I think we all could use a little more “pioneering” mindsets in the way we approach homeschooling nowadays, but also their are so many benefits as well to the “reach out and touch someone” ease of the social media age we are in. Relationships are different. Parenting is different. Socialization is different. It’s just going to be different for me homeschooling my children than it was for my mom with us. I hope to draw many things from the way she educated us but I’m also excited about the things I get to draw from in the current access to so much at our fingertips. Balance is tough… but I’m excited about trying to achieve it. Thanks for giving us a glimpse into your world.

   2. I like the way you describe your homeschool/family life. I’ve done both – needed to guard against people who are so happy to send their children off and don’t understand my need to guard my time with my own children/family; or people who assume I am always available to volunteer during school hours. I’ve also been very rigid and missed beautiful opportunities to get out into the world and enjoy. But these past years I’ve opened the doors more to invite people and opportunities in. To have that coffee at the table and know that my children are also learning in that – watching me care about people, build relationship, etc. Having said that, most of my closest friends are homeschoolers – but being a homeschooler doesn’t automatically mean we’d hit it off.

      1. That is a big one for me, Kika. People with whom I volunteer call me at all hours during the day when I know they do not call the other members of the committee who work outside of the home. It is frustrating.

   3. I like how you said that, Michelle, and it closely echoes how we live, as well. I understand we all choose what works for us individually, however, my son loves when we have friends over and when I share with him my own interests beyond what he and I share in common (which is plentiful). It would feel a disservice to him and to myself to neglect my own friends and my own life under the idealized premise that I have chosen him over myself. It would, in fact, be a burden to him eventually. Nevertheless, there are several points in Rachel’s post that I appreciate, myself being a person who needs plenty of solitude for contemplation and creation, and I too would hope that my friends understand when I just can’t come socialize at a given time.

      Great dialogue! Thanks, everyone : )

   4. I really enjoyed hearing your perspective.

   5. Hi Michelle ~
      I, too, appreciate your words and your reflection on your journey. I think with homeschooling – as with everything – it comes down to finding what is a fit for your family. Who would expect one size to fit all, especially with something as complex as education? Neither of us I am sure.

      And so for us quiet days are the prefect fit. My first born (10) is quite sensitive to stimulation and distraction, as am I. So we get overwhelmed with too much activity. To be open and learning and curious he needs a little space in which to do it. I’m so glad that I can provide that for him. Perhaps as time goes by this will change, but for now it’s just right for us.
      Peace,
      Rachel

      1. I agree that it is so important to respect the kids we have. None of us would do well with constant outside activity either but my youngest, in particular, needs lots of quiet time at home. I guess things keep changing in our home and life as we go.

      2. My son also gets overwhelmed also and really does need his alone time as well. I can push us to be out and busier, but someone usually ends up crying. We are all happier when I set limits around how much we can do and still have a calm, sane life. Thanks for sharing. This was a great post.

   6. Wow! Very eloquently put. I think I can see both perspectives, but as a homeschool family without lots of friends, sometimes we feel isolated by our decision to homeschool. I would love to have family or friends more involved in our lives because I agree that the interaction would be rewarding for the kids.

      Thank you for your response.

   7. Beautifully expressed Michelle – and I agree, a holistic approach is more my speed. I am unschooling my two children and very much feel that a communal approach will bless them greatly. Not because I need someone else to do it for me, rather we are all so different and I am only one type of human being! I want my children to be exposed to and in relationship with a variety of types of people, especially outside of their peer groups. I do believe that this can be done in a calm and gentle way – it does not mean that life must become hectic and revolve around other people – but at the same time, I want to be sure my children do not think that life will revolve around the forever! (Rachel – I am not saying that this is what you are doing with your kids, just echoing Michelle’s sentiments and I want you to know that I do love your words as well, just noting the balancing act that I know we all face!) : )

      1. (typos, I know – I hope the general gist was clear!)

8. I greatly admire the choices that parents make, especially those that put nurturing and educating children at the top of the list. Homeschooling is not something I choose to do, but my children’s education is one of my priorities and there is always learning to do! My conceren is for moms who are not getting any kind of break to take care of themselves (mentally, spiritually, physically, socially) and though the message of homeschooling changing relationships makes sense, I hope that you are not missing out on your own friendships and passions–and that you have just re-arranged them.

9. I laughed when you said that you don’t even answer the phone! A friend at church who is trying to organize a ladies’ retreat sent out an email asking for our cell phone numbers. My response was so long. I gave her my cell phone number, but had to explain that it’s always off. So I gave my home phone number, but explained that I don’t answer it when we’re homeschooling. In a world in which instant messaging and texting are addictions, I don’t fit in very well as a homeschooling mother!

   1. I answer the phone and return texts at my convenience. My phone is on silent most of the time, so I check my messages and respond as needed when I am available to do that. If it is someone I need to be corresponding with I often let them know that they are more likely to get a faster response via e-mail. I check that 2-3 times a day and try to respond promptly to anything needing my attention. I can do that quietly and only spend a couple minutes vs. talking on the phone for a “quick” minute that ends up being 20 or more.

10. Wow! What a wonderful post- Sharing!

11. So much of friendship is often wrapped up in availability. I have a new very close friend who is that for many reasons…. but one reason is she has no kids and is able to hang out with me on MY schedule. Most other young moms can’t be so flexible as she can, and just plain don’t have the time.

    I’ve been so fortunate in that many of my friends became homeschoolers too. Maybe I convinced them, LOL?

    It’s good to hear from you, Rachel Wolf! I hope that clothespin apron is about to wear out from so much use. XO from another Waldorf-inspired, eclectic homeschooler.

12. I am just getting in to the loneliness associated with homeschooling. Our oldest “began kindergarten” yesterday (the quotes are because my mom, who was a kindergarten teacher for many years, says that he could easily be in a 1st grade room already academically). At the end of this school year, I will get kicked out of the MOPS group that I helped found, not because my youngest is too old, but because my oldest is too old. People who have been my closest friends have told me either through their actual words or through their silence and inaction that I and moms like me are not worth the trouble it would be to continue to include us. I am sad – for myself, for my kids, and for them.

    I don’t at all regret the decision to homeschool, but it is sad that our differences have only managed to divide a group of close friends. I know that I have grown and learned due to my time in the MOPS group, and I don’t regret the time I’ve spent, but part of me feels like I’ve wasted my time making friends who clearly don’t actually care that much about me. I wish I felt like they were cheering me on, but I know that they’re not.

    1. While I don’t participate in our church’s MOPS program, they do (or did) have a homeschool room with an adult to monitor older kids who had work with them to do so that those mamas can participate. I hope you can add that to your MOPS program!

       1. Our MOPPETS coordinator has threatened to quit if she is required to find a worker for one more room and is unwilling to even _ask_ homeschool moms if they would be willing to supervise the room on a rotating basis (apparently it’s not cool to ask them to volunteer to miss a meeting or two a year so that they can attend all the others, but it’s absolutely cool to not allow them in in the first place). I’ve been on our Steering Team since our group started five years ago and have brought up this need every year. At first I was told “just let us get going, then we’ll add that – those moms are important to us,” but each year the push-back has gotten stronger and stronger. I’ve been the only one speaking for these moms (long before I joined their numbers), and certainly the only one who has suggested ways to meet the need. A few days ago, I was told by our coordinator that we could resolve this issue if I would “just consider being part of the solution.” I’m not sure exactly what I’ve been for the past five years if I haven’t already been “part of the solution.”

          It is an ugly situation and I am in the midst of a world of hurt. There are no good answers when the leadership of a group that says it wants “no mom alone” are content to exclude an entire group of moms. Do I leave quietly and let them continue with their exclusive “traditional-schooling only” group that doesn’t live up to any of the MOPS ideals? Do I start my own MOPS group? Do I start another group? Do I just go it alone? And how do I face these people at church, in choir, at birthday parties?

          1. I was a leader for MOPS for years and it sounds like it might be better to see if you could start your own type of support group. Most MOPS groups were very friendly to homeschool moms, but I did bow out of volunteering for mine when a leader took over that was not that way.

          2. Melissa,
             The loneliness is hard at the beginning. I’m sorry you’re going through that. I think as you get into homeschooling more you will find some homeschool friends who become close friends. We’ve found some HS support groups and co-ops and the kids are close as well as the moms. I pray that God would bring you some kindred spirits to join you in your journey. 🙂
             -Charity

13. Casey: There was plentiful support/networking available when we started out–we decided against involving ourselves in it primarily because we didn’t view raising our kids outside the school system as something that needed “support”. We set off as a family to live life and to enjoy the children as we went along. I thought then, and I do now, that homeschooling groups were just as exclusive and contrived as school–it held to the same construct that says that children require some sort of adult-imposed structure on their lives if they are to learn and grow and we just rejected that notion entirely. I don’t think that much is different–that socialization is different or that so many things have changed per se. I do think that younger homeschooling families are, on average, actually more anxious and concerned than we (our generation of homeschoolers) were about making sure that all the academic and social bases are covered in a way that seems acceptable, or more acceptable, to mainstream society. Most of the young homeschooling families I run across are exhausting themselves running around to classes and events and groups and activities seemingly 7 days a week and it often has a frantic and insecure emotional quality to it based upon my conversations with them and their posts on Facebook! : – ) I am often the recipient of email/messages asking me how I ever managed to homeschool four children and remain sane and centered alongside the complaints that they are so tired and discouraged trying to “keep up with everything”. When I inquire about what, exactly, they’re doing with their time it’s clear that everything is so child-centered that the parents aren’t getting any couple time so the marriage is stressed, the kids feel stressed out because they feel more like projects than people (one mother told me her son actually had both the insight and courage to tell her exactly that!) and when they aren’t running hither and yon with the kids, they’re planning the next day/week/month/year to the detail–when do they relax as a family? When do mom and dad get to be husband and wife and go out for dinner or away for a weekend alone so they can maintain their own intimate bond? I’ve become a bit concerned for a number of young homeschooling families over the last few years because as admirably committed as most of them are to it, they often seem more pressured and stressed than they need to be–I’d like to see people have a bit more trust in themselves and their children and frankly, a bit more trust and faith in the rest of the world realizing that the school decision needed be a divisive one, requiring so much “proof” that we’re doing all the “right’ things for our kids–it’s enough to live life and have fun and enjoy the ride! That’s what us “old timers” did and are still doing–it’s not really so different now–I’m still unschooling an 11 year old and it’s the same life for us as it was 20 odd years ago for her oldest brother : ) This is a wonderful threat by the way–I terrific post and the responses are great to read; thank you all.

    1. This is really interesting to me and helpful. I can see myself in some of what you say. Would love to hear more…it’s great to hear an honest look at today’s newer homeschool moms.

14. My son turned 4 this yr. and almost all of the friends he’s made through me joining mom’s groups are in preschool either everyday or 2-3 times a week (fact, one boy he got along well with is in school everyday, all year, with a 2 or 3 weeks break every 3 months, yikes). I’m realizing that the times for regular “playdates” with those kids is pretty much over and I just sought out a homeschooling/unschooling group that I hope will be a source of new friendships. However, I don’t want to just dump the non-homeschooling friends. As much as I can, I’ll make sure he can get together with those friends during weekends or other events. However, because of the nature of differing schedules, some of those connections/relationships will die off. It is what it is. But not because I threw someone to the curb.

15. WOW, and WOW….Just had this happen. A dear friend and I just made a morning date for coffee as her kids are now back in school and mine homeschool. As I hung up I thought, well it will only be for an hour and the kids will be ok, the oldest is 16 but the guilt was overwhelming. They need me here and its my (our) commitment that I am here. Homeschooling is my full time job and its worth saying no ever when that hurts me and sometimes my non homeschooling friends. So well said and that you, I will no be having coffee unless she wants to come here. Thank and THANK YOU, so well said!!

    1. How about having an afternoon coffee after most of your kids school is finished, but before her kids are home from school. Host it at your house, so you can be available if really needed.

16. Michelle,

    What state do you live in? I desire to maintain a similar outlook to yours, but all too often find myself stressing over my child’s reading level, etc. (we have 6, 4 of which are “in school”) The thought that our “privilege” to school our children can be revoked is at the basis of this fear, and I suspect at many a homeschooling family. I have also lost a lot of friendships, but not for a lack of effort. Many people still look down (or down right disagree) with homeschooling and just refuse to be friends. The people I spend time with are mostly homeschooling (or did when their children were young) families because those are the families that desire our friendship. At least I’m hoping it isn’t due to a lack of personality on our part 🙂

    I love hearing all the different perspectives!

17. I’m not quite as strict as you with my time- but it is getting to that point…I simply don’t have the same time available as schooling families

18. My non-homeschooling friends got tired of inviting to their gatherings. It’s sad but I had to accept that I just didn’t have the energy and time to be there.

    I love diversity because I know there is so much to learn from non-homeschool friends and homeschool friends but we simply can’t do it all.

    On the other hand at church we have a women’s meeting once a month and that’s way too fun. I get to hang out with all kinds of moms!

19. For me, those friendships I had prior to homeschooling are now acquaintances…

20. And one day you may need those very friends you right now don’t have time for…don’t be surprised when they say, “I’m sorry it’s school time. Can’t help you.” Of course we homeschoolers have to make school and family a priority and I would say that a “friend ” who needed constant reminding of this is no friend at all. And yet there is something to be said for a family who is willing to sacrifice for others, I want my children to be “others ” focused. The world doesn’t revolve around them.
    When my 3 month old was very sick last fall with RSV, we spent several days in the hospital. I needed someone to help with my other 4 kids. A very dear homeschooling friend stepped up to the plate. She didn’t say, “I’m sorry the kids and I are busy having a cooking lesson.” No, she answered the phone and she was willing to help when it was inconvient to her. That’s a true friend and that is a lesson I’m willing to teach my kids at the risk of giving up “school ” for the day.

    . hospital. I needed someone to help with my other 4 kids. A be
    rg dear

    1. Sorry …typing on my kindle. I have know idea why that repeated on the bottom 🙂

    2. The idea that being mindful of when we socialize does not mean that we do not have time for our friends. I simply view homeschooling as a priority over hanging out during our school day, not unlike I would with a job outside of the home. If I were at the office friends would understand immediately that it isn’t my social time. So we are simply mindful of how and when we make time. That being said, a crisis is a crisis. A friend needed emergency help finding breastmilk for her baby while she was hospitalized and we dropped everything for days to make that happen. I am speaking to the day to day “let’s hang out.” In my life there are more appropriate times for that than when we’re doing lessons.

       1. I do agree with the “let’s hang out” business – I too find that people “expect” me to available just because I am home – it has been that way since day one as a mama! Rachel, I think there is a tremendous amount of wealth and wisdom in your words. I think there is also much wealth and wisdom in Michelle’s words. I especially appreciate that the wealth and wisdom is shared so freely – because I value it highly and you are both influencing my life in a wonderful way right now as we move into our September rhythym! So yes, all that to say, THANK YOU!

21. Oh Wow! This was so well written and so pertinent to my life right now. To say my friends and neighbors understand homeschooling and my decision to do it would be an understatement. I lost one good friend because I kept having to say “no” I cannot watch your children for you while you go to visit the dr. I am busy schooling my children. After many times of me trying to explain that my priorities were to teach my children and to grasp all opportunities within our community to teach them, she blamed me for not being a good friend and that I was never there for HER. I said, “too bad” you’re a grown woman, but I”ve made a commitment to my children and that will never change. Ugh!

22. Maybe I’m alone in this, but I think it’s a valuable learning experience to have my kids quietly entertain themselves while I have a friend over for coffee or if we go out to a local coffee shop. I have a 5 year old, a 3 year old and an infant and this is possible. Not because I’m an amazing mother, but be cause kids are amazing and can learn to adapt to each family.

    So I say make the lifestyle you want. If you love to engage your kids all day long and put your time in there and keep your phone off – do it. Your friendships will change and adjust accordingly. If you love to socialize with your friends and feel you can work it into your kids’ routine from time to time – do it.

    Homeschooling appeals to our family mostly because we’re educating the whole person. Virtues and academics are valuable. When we’re learning math, it’s well worth my time. When they’re learning to be quiet and respectful as I catch up with a friend, it’s well worth their time. We all make space for each other’s interests. As they grow, I will adjust my life to fit in their passions, just as they take quiet times for me to create my artwork.

    I love the natural ebb and flow of the homeschool life and the freedom that comes with the schedule – should you choose that route. It may not be for everyone, but it’s possible if you want it. 🙂 Enjoy whatever decision your family makes and feel hope for whatever lifestyle you and your husband decide works for your crew! Love to all,

    Lana Wilkens

    1. I don’t think you are alone in it at all. It wasn’t until my children were older that I noticed how distracted I was from them when I was visiting. At 3 and 5 I think those lessons are important. But at 10 we are doing my focused work than ever before, and need to create quiet space in which to do it. Thank you for your thoughtfully written comment about every one finding their own right path. I couldn’t agree more.

23. this is one of the best posts I have read in a long time. It’s a true look at the home/life of a homeschool mother…it is loving and genuine..not judgement or condemning…it’s acknowledging and sharing truth….in love.

    1. Thank you, Rebecca.

24. Thanks for the reminder of the impact of the decision we made when we chose to homeschool our children. And, that the impact of that decision (and subsequent decisions) will absolutely impact our relationships with friends and family members.

25. Hmmmm…I really appreciated reading your thought provoking post. I’ve struggled off & on with my non-homeschooling friends. Sometimes, I find the need for an excellent conversation with a close friend is necessary for my mental health – we usually get coffee to go & bring it the park. The boys get some needed run around time & I get to visit. But, I do find myself often explaining/justifying/defending how we spend our time. Some of my non-homeschool friends are surprised at how busy we actually are, at how committed we are to the co-ops & groups we’re a part of (“it’s not like it’s school”). Other’s are surprised to find us still in PJs at lunch on a rainy day. I think what folks who don’t homeschool don’t understand is how varied our days are. The assumption of a rigid, formal, everyday schedule is strong.

    For me your post spoke to an issue that I really struggle with: boundaries. My sister, who I love dearly, lives right next door. She & her toddler daughter love to stop by & visit in the morning…but this is our prime project/focus/work time. I find it difficult to hold the line & tell her that we really cant hang out in the mornings. And it’s true, if my kids were in school, if I was working, this would be a non-issue. But, I find those boundary issues show up with my homeschool friends too.

    Thanks for the interesting post and the very cool blog.

    1. Corinna,
       Having run a home-based business for years I’ve struggled with this from before my kids were needing the space I have described creating above. To be digging into work and have a friend pop by or a neighbor wanting to visit can be hard. I think the boundaries I have created around our homeschooling time are similar to those I had to create around my business – to find a loving way to say, “I enjoy visiting with you, but right now I am at work. Can we connect this afternoon?” Good luck to you as you find the balance with your sister.

Comments are closed.