Everyone wants to quit in November and February
Written by contributor Anne Bogel of Modern Mrs. Darcy
Before we even began homeschooling, I had the good fortune to hear Susan Wise Bauer’s warning: “Everyone wants to quit in November and February.”
Time has proven her right: these are the months when I feel like we’re just slogging through it, far from the excitement of the semester’s beginning or the relief of its end.
And these are the months when the days are cold and the nights are long, without the sparkle of the holidays. It’s easy to get sick, busy, or just plain stir-crazy.
November and February might not be easy months, but I can survive them a little better if I take the following precautions.
1. Take good care of yourself and your kids.
During these months, I have to remember to take care of my body the best way I know how. (This is the easiest way to make these months better, and the one I’m most likely to skip. Not this year.)
We all know what it takes: eat healthy food, take your vitamins, get some exercise, prioritize sleep.
My kids don’t mind the cold — they love to bundle up and head outside to get some sunshine — but I have to make myself go along, knowing I’m happier when I do.
(If you crave daylight like I do, think about trying a therapy lamp. I waited way too long to give this a try, but I’ve had better winters since I started using one every morning.)
2. Take a break if you need to.
I need to remember that homeschooling is not an endurance contest, and the ability to take breaks as needed is a strategic tool in my toolkit. I shouldn’t be afraid to use it!
And whatever I do, I shouldn’t feel guilty about taking time off. Sometimes taking a step back is the best thing I can do, for my kids and for me.
3. Hit the road.
If we’re already taking a break, we’ll consider a road trip. There’s lots to learn in other locales — near and far — and November and February are inexpensive times to travel.
The first year we homeschooled, we went to the beach in November. We took a week off school, soaked up some sunshine, and spent hours playing outside.
The year after that, we spent the week before Thanksgiving in Chicago. Hotels were cheap, many museums were free, and the city was already decorated for Christmas. Yes, it was cold, but it was worth it.
Of course, even “inexpensive” travel is pricey, and that isn’t in our budget this year. Don’t worry, there are other options.
4. Mix it up.
Sometimes taking a break from our regular curriculum is as valuable as a full stop.
I’m dreaming about spending a week reading kid lit classics or doing science projects. We love to spend the whole morning at the bookstore, or the pet shop. My kids want to visit the zoo and the library and the children’s museum.
These are the months to break out those art supplies we don’t often use (and study some famous painters, if we’re feeling ambitious). We might listen to some new music, read up on composers, and watch Swan Lake on DVD. We’ll bake, play at the park, hike a few trails.
What does your family like to do? These are the months to do it — during school hours.
5. Know you’re not alone.
It was enormously encouraging for me to hear — in advance — that when I felt like quitting, it wasn’t because I was doing this homeschooling thing wrong, and it wasn’t because we’d made a terrible decision to pull our kids out of regular school.
Some months are just hard. If you know that going in, you can prepare accordingly.
How does your family get through November and February?
Originally published on November 13, 2013
I haven’t gotten burned out yet this year, but I do feel the winter blues affecting my personal goals. I bought a happy light a couple of years ago and it was a great investment. I have to remember to take my Fermented Cod Liver Oil to make sure I get enough Vitamin D.
I forgot that the fermented cod liver oil helps with Vitamin D! I just started taking that for the first time ever–the cinnamon stuff you recommended, actually. Here’s hoping that helps this winter!
Exactly what I needed to hear today! I’ve been frustrated for the last week or so, unable to motivate my 8 year old son to do anything productive. We’ll definitely be mixing it up today!
Wishing you well and hoping everyone’s feeling better after a bit of a change. 🙂
When my son was 8 it was our hardest year homeschooling and I promised myself for the good of our relationship I was not doing homeschool next year… thankfully I broke my promise and continued on. My son is 10 this year and it’s been so so much better and we’ve had a great year. I’m so thankful I didn’t give up during those tough years. (Not that you are I just remembered real fast age 8 lol)
Thank goodness I’m not the only one! This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I have already thought about putting my 6 and 8 year old girls back in school several times this week. This too shall pass, right? I’ll be more prepared for “breakdowns” in February now that I’ve read this. Thanks so much!
Rachel, so glad this one caught you at the right time.
Thank you so much for this, trying to school my girls and work part time is taking a huge toll on all of us. I have seriously doubted that I can even do this and just want to put them back in school knowing that certainly won’t fix anything. Right now we are just trying to get the generals in until December then we will do some fun unit things, and then I will be FREE no more work and hopefully our moods will be better equipped for learning.
Could not agree more! Great advice!
Oh, good I was starting to worry. I feel like a field trip is definitely in order here soon! I so appreciate your insight. Now I can be on the lookout come February. Thanks!
Wow! This week I was just feeling overwhelmed. I have dirty walls, dirty floors, clutter coming out of every crack and crevice. I feel disorganized and out of control. It’s just been a rough past year and I haven’t been able to keep up like normal. I think the guilt is weighing on me. My kids happened to be particularly independant and motivated the other day but tears welled up in my eyes as I sat at the table with them secretly envying mothers who send their children off. I just can’t seem to catch up! I really wanted to throw in the towel and I’ve been homeschooling for 6+ years.
Rawne, I feel for you! I’m in the same place and I’ve homeschooled for 18 years. Sigh. So, read this post again and figure out which of the helps might work for your situation. One of the things I’m doing to help sort it all out is choosing one big project to work on almost every afternoon till it gets done – maybe just 1/2 an hour or an hour a day, plugging away till I feel like I’m getting the chaos under control. Hang in there and do not become weary in doing well.
Rawne, I definitely have those “overwhelmed” days, too. I can’t speak for everyone, but I’d like to think all homeschooling parents do! Sincerely hoping you all hit your stride again soon.
I’d have to say November and August here in Texas. February is actually sort of pleasant and our spring is early, too. In August, though, when it’s like 900 degrees and we stay inside because it’s too hot and bright, that’s when ye old cabin fever sets in. And, oh, how awful it is. (Love this post. Thanks so much for your wisdom.)
I’ve never lived anywhere where it gets THAT hot! Thanks for bringing the regional perspective into the conversation, Pamela.
Oh boy, did I need to read this! This is my first FULL year of homeschooling. Last year I had a nightmare of a time with my son–he was three, and I don’t think I fully grasped his learning style as I was desperately trying to follow a curriculum I bought. So this year has been really great, but all of a sudden this week, I just felt blah. I kept thinking, “I just don’t want to do this anymore…” So these were very encouraging words with some great suggestions.
Tristine, I’m so glad to hear that. And by the way, I completely relate to what you said about starting out–when we first started homeschooling, I tried so hard to follow the “rules” of the curriculum I’d chosen, until I finally realized it was a terrible fit for my child! I’m glad for your all’s sake that you’re realizing that relatively early in the first year–I’m afraid it took me a lot longer than that. 🙂
So good, Anne! And this is most definitely true for me. It’s around this time of year when I just put in time, ploughing through the routine—and then take a nice, much-needed Thanksgiving break. With anticipation that we will take ALMOST A MONTH OFF in December. Homeschooling for the win.
A month off? That sounds DIVINE–although I cringe to think how much math my son could forget in that amount of time! (Although right about now it almost sounds worth it…. 🙂 )
Literally started crying just reading the title. Its so true!!!
Loved reading this. My first year homeschooling and I always wonder if I’m doing it right. Or will she fall behind and it will be my fault. Some days are tough.
Good stuff! We are just gong to be starting our homeschool journey later this month, so I am bookmarking this for February!
Thanks Anne!
I needed this today. I’ve been giving myself grace and allowing a nap time for myself!
February has always been the hardest for us. I try and plan one weekend getaway to a new place and in January I start a new school subject, activity, or project. This brings the excitement back a little. Last January we started Spanish and this year maybe typing or water colors.
Penny, those sound like great ways to spice things up!
We’re in that funk right now! I love how you said not to feel guilty about it. I think giving us a little bit of time to breathe and recenter is just what we need to feel rejuvenated.
Perfect timing-I gave each of my kids a choice on what “day off” they would like last week ( we do school Mon-Fri). Each picked a different day and just kicked back but no electronics till our normal time. Felt like we really needed to mix it up and the kids appreciated it, as well as me 😉
What a great idea. I’m definitely adding a chosen day off to my mental homeschool toolkit.
November is a great time to collect leaves for art projects and for baking- we have pumpkin bread in the oven as I write this. Breaking away from the curriculum for holiday-oriented activities is fun; sometimes curriculum can actually coincide with this time of year. Next week we’ll be doing a unit study on budgeting money and stewardship, so the last day before break we’ll watch A Christmas Carol (that old Scrooge budgets a little TOO much). Then we’ll be off for 6 Weeks because we school year-round. Because of this, February isn’t too bad because we’ve had some time off. February is also the time that we stock up on art supplies and buy books for next year, so that adds some fun, too!
When I was teaching, November was still fresh but February was always, always hard. I was ready for winter to be over, the fact that the month was short meant I was looking for it to be over quickly when in reality it went on and on. Once March arrived, with the promise of spring, I was able to get back in the groove.
I’ve never really heard anyone else talk of this and can’t help but think this would have encouraged me to hear back in my teaching days.
At least its only November and February. Kids in real school want to quite many more months than that (their parents don’t even want to quit that in the summer)
Great point! I hadn’t thought of it like that.
Just read this right after starting the registration process to put my girls (9 and 7) back in school at our local Waldorf school. It’s such a sweet school and they went there for 2 years…I was hopeful about homeschooling and it was actually working out really well with the girls for the most part, but we’re having a VERY difficult time with our 3 year old son in the mix …it has proven to be too much for our family. I’m either homeschooling and getting NOTHING ELSE done (like, we don’t have groceries, I have no time to cook, etc…all the important things) OR we don’t get homeschooling done. I wish I could say this has to do with just November, but I think for us we need to reconsider homeschooling and maybe try it again when our 3 year old is older. Either way though, I really appreciated reading this post knowing I’m not the only one!
Have you thought about maybe putting your son into preschool there a couple of mornings a week and keeping your daughters home? I know having a toddler in the picture totally makes things challenging, but that might be enough breathing space to let you feel like you’re more in balance – just a thought! I know Waldorf schools are so lovely for preschool. We have one around the corner from us here.
I homeschool 7 kids and have a baby, a 2yr old, and a 3 year old. I was having a tough time because of the little ones this year and started reading about more relaxed homeschooling. While I’m far from unschooling, I’m far less concerned about finishing every page of a curriculum, and I try to do activities the younger ones can participate in. I’ve set aside times where the kids and I will do housekeeping chores (3x a day), and I have specific times that meals are made. My house is far from perfect but is clean enough for my husband when he gets home from work. It’s okay to watch a movie or documentary sometimes. It’s also okay on those hectic days to let the kids just play. This is when discovery learning takes place! I just wanted to encourage you if you’re having second thoughts about sending them to school. Best wishes!
Oh, I hear you today, and for the past few weeks as well! I have a 2.5, 7 and 9 y/o. I struggle with when to do school because if we wait until naptime (which doesn’t always happen) I get unmotivated. I so needed to hear about November and February. I am worried here in MN it will be from now until April. I am feeling really scared!
My youngest turned 3 in January, and I’m honestly not sure how I could have homeschooled if we didn’t have some teenage help to play trains with him and read him stories so I could focus for more than 45 seconds at a time on math for 3 grade schoolers! Six months later, our home was much, much calmer. Of course every kid and every family is different, but I’m amazed at how much calmer things are now that he’s closer to 3 than 4. Hoping that things settle down for you too–regardless of what you decide to do for school.
My youngest is 2.5 and I have him in a delightful Montessori school a few mornings a week. The grandparents help out some on the other mornings. Getting him out of the mix to get some serious school done with my 8 and 7 year olds makes me feel so much more productive.
Thank you for this big permission slip to rest, breathe, pause and shift. Right now my kids are playing happily together (Happily. Playing. Together). Lessons abandoned. Sibling collaboration feels like its own lesson for today.
Rachel, I have 4 and I understand the success of HAPPILY PLAYING TOGETHER. (I thought the caps were justified there. 🙂 )
“Sibling collaboration feels like its own lesson for today.” Amen. Hope it’s a great one, and that the “happily together’ part lasts!
This is exactly what I needed to hear!!! I have been feeling very burnt out this month and couldn’t figure out why. I am glad to hear I am not the only one and that this too shall pass.
Love this. Well, I can’t say that I want to quit homeschooling in November, but typically do go fairly unschooly for the holiday season. If you can’t deal with school, plan a party. : )
Now February, that’s a whole other story. I’m actually creating a retreat right now called Thriving! in the Doldrums. Those long dark months are challenging to a homeschooler’s heart. Swan lake sounds like love therapy though.
I’m also a huge fan of Melissa Wiley’s Tidal schooling series. http://melissawiley.com/blog/2007/11/16/the-tidal-homeschooling-master-list/ Must read during those dark days….and light days too.
Cheers,
Ann
Thanks for the recommendation!
Hi, Anne. Great tips. So wise to listen to those who have gone before. I just started formal homeschooling with my 5yo this year, and I haven’t experienced a slump yet. I believe this is because my nesting instinct is full gear, and my motivation is high for getting things done. I suppose that will pay off when baby comes in January, and we take a break for a while. Right now, it’s: “do all the things!” (picture that funny stick woman yelling it out). Ask me again in February! Ha! 🙂
That is a great reason to be going full steam ahead now! In February, I hope you’ll be taking naps, eating casseroles other people cooked for you, and taking it easy on the homeschool front. Here’s hoping!