Written by Melissa Camara Wilkins
Today is Pajama Day at our homeschool.
(That just means that we’re eating lunch in our P.J.s, you understand.)
There won’t be any assemblies or pajama-related relay races. We needed a day of rest and reading in loungewear, so we took one.
One of my favorite things about homeschooling is that we’re free to build a lifestyle that fits our family. From the ways we homeschool to the whys behind our homeschool, we get to choose.
But sometimes I kind of forget. I forget that I’m not required to homeschool in any certain way. I forget that our days are not just a series of events to trudge through, on the way from breakfast to bedtime.
It’s easy to slip into thinking of ourselves as being required to do a bunch of homeschooling tasks—but I want to homeschool from a place of inspiration.
Just like we want to inspire not require our kids to learn, I want to be inspired-not-required as a homeschooling parent.
Here’s how I try to bump the inspiration level up a notch when I’m not feeling it.
Remember your reasons.
What inspired you to homeschool originally? Reread the books that set you off on this path. Check in with your favorite blogs or websites. Be refreshed by the ideas that fired you up in the first place.
I love the idea of rereading my favorite homeschooling books every year. (I haven’t done it! But I love the idea.)
Make a love list.
What do you love about homeschooling? Write it all down, to bring your focus back to the good stuff.
My list would include things like fostering the relationships in our family, seeing my kids dive into projects and come out with new interests and new skills, watching them become more self-directed as they grow, and being able to choose to live at a slowed-down pace. Yes!
Make changes.
Switch up your routines.
If you’re worn out from the same-old same-old, try planning an event to look forward to. (Poetry night! History fair! Music fest! Invite a few families to show off their skills. It doesn’t have to be fancy.)
Or if you’re exhausted from zipping between classes and park day and play group and library activities, clear the schedule. Plan some time of just being at home, nothing but the essentials.
Stop whatever has you burned out or bummed out, and try something different.
Reboot your environment.
I give lots of thought to creating an inspiring environment for my kids, but my environment needs to inspire me, too.
Sometimes that means seasonal changes of the candles-and-decorations kind, and sometimes it means my own work space needs attention.
Do you need to create a dedicated place for your own projects? Should something be organized, rearranged, or moved, to be more useful? Will you be more inspired if you can see all your supplies, or if you put them out of sight? Experiment to see what works best.
Start a project.
Starting something new fires up your creativity and gets you moving.
If I’m in an inspiration slump, I know it might be time to start a new project of my own. Maybe you want to pick up those knitting needles, or plan next year’s garden, or take a photography class, or start a blog?
We can model engagement for our kids, while also feeding our own interests. Win-win.
Mentoring might be the answer.
Find a homeschool parent farther along the path than you, and ask them to mentor you. Find someone with less experience, and offer to mentor them. Relationships focused on intentional growth can be inspiring.
Or hang out with some brand-new homeschooling parents, and ask them why they’ve decided to try this lifestyle. Their answers might just inspire you all over again.
Inspire each other.
Sometimes the best inspiration is shared inspiration.
Gather a group of homeschooling friends, and swap stories of the things you love about homeschooling.
If meeting in person is difficult, start a private group on Facebook or Voxer or over email. Share inspiring stories, articles, news, and ideas that way.
We can help each other remember that we’re not required to homeschool in any particular way. We can each choose a lifestyle of learning that best matches our family’s personalities and strengths. My homeschool is not required to look like yours, and yours is not required to look like mine. We can each be inspired to put our own educational values into practice.
I want my kids to be inspired to learn, and I want to be inspired to lead them. Mamas need inspiration, too!
What are some ways you inspire-not-require yourself, as a homeschooling parent?
A dose of homeschool inspiration
HI Melissa, I’m doing a project on homeschooling and I was wondering if you could give me some insight. What are some huge benefits that made you and your family really love homeschooling? How do you think homeschooling affects your kids? Thanks, hope to hear from you soon.
Sydney, I love the flexibility of homeschooling, and the way that we’re able to focus on the particular strengths and gifts (and sometimes weaknesses!) of each child. Best of luck!
Melissa Camara Wilkins’s latest post: The Whole Family Gift Guide 2014
I enjoyed your article but am still struggling. I am surrounded by a lot of curriculum driven families. My heart wants to be an unschooling mom, but then I get freaked out. I know better.
I really want to make a jump in educating my son but I am overwhelmed with what I am supposed to be doing, then end up doing little except reading together. That used to be okay and enough for me, except now he’s in 6th grade and it feels wrong. Any suggestions?
Hi Debi! I would check out A Thomas Jefferson Education and see if that philosophy resonates with you at all: http://www.tjed.org If so they have a wonderful Facebook discussion group that would be worth checking out for answers to many questions: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TJEdDiscussion/
Debi, it’s so hard to be doing things differently than the people around us, isn’t it?
One thing that helps me is to find a few like-minded friends, even if I only know them online. I would check out Jamie’s links (above) for that! 🙂
If I’m struggling with the “what’s enough” worries, I try to step back and observe what my kids are really doing each day–is learning happening in ways that don’t necessarily look like traditional schooling? Or do I want to offer new inspiration in an area they’re not delving into on their own?
I also think it helps to give ourselves (and our families) extra grace when making a change, since it will take us awhile to let go of old patterns and embrace new ones. That’s okay! I think we can just keep moving toward our ideal, baby steps at a time. 🙂
Melissa Camara Wilkins’s latest post: The Whole Family Gift Guide 2014
It takes guts to “inspire, not require” when the rest of the culture is all about requirements. I say, follow your heart as much as you possibly can, while understanding that in some situations, our kids will be required to meet certain demands–if not by us, then by others.
Hannah’s latest post: Going On An (Information) Diet–Starving Distraction to Gain Peace
I think we’re always working toward that balance between our ideals and the world we live in. Or sometimes we’re bouncing back and forth between the two–but that’s another way to make a scale balance, isn’t it? 😉
Melissa Camara Wilkins’s latest post: The Whole Family Gift Guide 2014
I love the idea of inspiring and not requiring for us! We need this!!
I will be thinking about your suggestions as we head into the new calendar year.
Thanks Melissa.
sheila’s latest post: Game Changers: 2014
Thanks, Sheila! I know I will need to be reminded of all this again come February… 🙂
Melissa Camara Wilkins’s latest post: Inspiration for every day
What if most of your days are pajama days and the days where you actually do some, very minimal, “work” are few and far between?? That’s my problem!
Ah, the pajama day creep. Been there. 😉
When we’re in all-pajama mode, I try to step back and observe what actually IS happening. Are we learning in nontraditional ways, or are we stuck in a rut?
I try to think about what I want to be different, and notice what’s keeping us from that ideal.
And I try to be clear about why I want things to be different, because the WHY is what gives me the motivation to make changes.
Then I think about what changes I can make to our environment or our routine, to encourage us back toward our ideals.
– I might start setting out a learning invitation each day after breakfast.
– I might change the routine: maybe I’ll suggest a week of writer’s workshop.
– I might change the environment: maybe we’ll turn our backyard into a clay studio for the weekend.
– I might plan field trips, to try to inspire wonder.
– I might request a bunch of new library books, or invest in a new tool, or investigate new lessons or classes (online ones are great for this, since they’re available anytime).
And with older kids, I talk about what’s going on, what their goals are, and if their daily choices are moving them toward their goals or away from them.
Or I might figure it’s just the winter, the weather is dreary, and we’ll get back to more active modes of learning as we thaw out. 😉 Sometimes that works for me, too.
Could you offer a few book suggestions that inspire you in homeschooling ?
Great question, Alisha! I hope others might offer suggestions, too.
I read Diana Waring’s book, Beyond Survival: A Guide to Abundant Life Homeschooling, when my oldest kids were tiny. That one gave me ideas about how families could really each create their own learning style. I still keep a copy on my shelf.
More recently, there’s Sarah Mackenzie’s Teaching From Rest!
And I’m always inspired by leafing through books about books, like Kathleen Odean’s Great Books for Girls/Boys/Kids. I want to encourage a literary lifestyle, and book lists help me remember the value of creating time and space for reading All The Books. But that might just be me. 😀
Melissa Camara Wilkins’s latest post: Inspiration for every day
We have been homeschooling for 8 years now. We use an online curriculum (Time4Learning) and have since we started homeschooling. As we started high school this fall, I realized that we are beginning a new chapter. Our deadlines have always been rather fluid, we homeschool year round, sometimes we are very ahead, sometimes we are behind. But now I know that we have only 3.5 years until high school graduation and I am feeling some of the same uncertainties that I did when I first started homeschooling. What if I miss teaching something vital? What if I don’t teach enough? What if we take too many days off? I seriously appreciate this post, it reminds me that each homeschool is unique and that we must be as individual as teachers as our kids are as students. I plan on rearranging my desk and working on my knitting projects, perhaps inspire my daughter through modeling my behavior. Great post!
God bless you, Linda – so glad these words encouraged you.
Great post! This is my 13th year homeschooling (how is that possible??) and with kids in high school it can become so easy to fall into the comparison trap. I am most inspired when I spend time talking with my kids about our school. I ask where they think we’re doing well, where they think we need improvement. I love being able to tailor our schooling to each child’s individual strengths. I have been mentored in the past, which was a huge blessing, and have in turned mentored others. I’m going to make inspire not require a theme of our homeschool!
One of the biggest reasons many of us love homeschooling to begin with is the flexibility and the ability to do whatever we want for learning, and yet, somewhere along the line we tend to get bogged down in our routines and view it as a series of required events. I love that phrase “inspire not require learning.” Wow, such a good reminder. How can we inspire learning if we are doing the same, tear-inducing routine everyday? Thanks for sharing.