The following is a guest post by LaToya Edwards of Learning to Let Him Lead.
When I first became a mommy I never imagined that I would want to be home with my babies, and I had never heard of homeschooling.
When my first son was born and I started thinking about his education, my heart was really drawn towards teaching him at home. I had no idea how I was going to manage to homeschool a child and have a full-time law career, but I figured that between my husband and me, we could work it out.
All those plans went out the window when I suddenly found myself a single mom to two boys.
I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to finish school and provide for us but I never let go of the dream of homeschooling. It has not been an easy road homeschooling as a single parent.
I’m often tired, exhausted and worn out. But little by little I’m finding my way and figuring out what homeschooling looks like for us.
When people learn that I’m homeschooling and a single mom they often have lots of questions. I have emails all the time from people wanting to know how I manage or from other parents that are single and have the desire to homeschool.
There are many things about homeschooling that are the same no matter how many parents live in the home.
But there are some things unique to single parents that are educating their children at home.
I don’t have all the answers and I’m definitely not perfect. But I have found a few things that have really helped me on this journey of homeschooling without the support of a spouse.
Here are my sanity savers:
Don’t Compare
My homeschool does not look like anyone else’s. That’s not a bad thing.
As a single mom there are many aspects of my life that look different from my married friends. I have had to learn not to compare. When I start comparing I find myself getting jealous, bitter and feeling inadequate.
The beauty of homeschooling is that there are many ways to educate children and each family has the freedom to find what works best for them.
Don’t look at your friends and other bloggers and see all the things they have that you may not. If you find an idea that you like then find a way to make it work for your family. And if you can’t make it work then don’t feel bad about it.
Keep it simple
As a single mom I’m solely responsible for everything that goes on in my home. I do the cooking, cleaning, the shopping, the teaching, the disciplining, etc.
Honestly I have much more on my plate than any one person can handle. The only way that I have found to manage the best I can and not go totally bonkers is to keep things as simple as possible.
Our days are routine and simple. We have breakfast, we do devotion and then our lessons. My boys are young so I try to be done with our school day by lunch time so that the afternoon is free for playing outside and fun. This also gives me afternoons to write or catch up on house work.
We are not involved in a lot of out of the house activities partly because of cost and also because I just can’t keep up with the pace.
Take a look at your schedule and your goals for your children and decide what is most important. Make those things a priority and leave the rest off your plate. I don’t have a lot of money for curriculum so I do like other frugal families and make use of our local library and other free resources.
Find your village
I mentioned that we don’t do a lot of activities outside of the house. That doesn’t mean that we never go out.
It is really easy for me to go into hermit mode and never leave the house at all. I don’t recommend that. When you are responsible for all the duties of parenting, running a house and homeschooling, you need to have a support system — people that can help you out and give you a break sometimes.
I have a small circle of friends that really get me through the tough times. They check in on us and they make sure that I’m taking care of myself and my boys. I have one friend that I get together with on a regular basis. Our boys get to play and have time together and we get to catch up and hang out.
Each of these tips help me when I start to burn-out. Usually when burn-out hits it’s because we are too busy, or I’m trying to do too much with schoolwork or haven’t made the time to get out and be with people.
Single parent homeschooling is a lot of work, and most days leave me exhausted. But I love being home with my boys and watching as they grow and learn new things.
Are you a homeschooling single parent? What are some ways that help you stay sane?
Raising happier homeschool siblings
Wow! Thanks for sharing! Do you work full time from home, then? I’ve been wanting to move in this direction with no idea how to start. How do you make ends meet with your career while homeschooling? You sound like an amazing woman. May God bless you!
Erica I don’t practice law. I could not afford to take the bar when I graduated. My full-time career is motherhood. I work part time as a virtual assistant and make a little money freelance writing and with my blog. That income plus child support and living very frugally allow me to stay home with my boys
LaToya Edwards’s latest post: Welcome Simple Homeschool Readers!
Thank you so much for sharing, LaToya. I am currently making the transition from work at home mom to work at home single, homeschooling mom as my oldest starts kindergarten this fall. I’ve had a lot of anxiety about how everything will work out, and I loved reading your tips.
Shaunna @ Fantastic Fun and Learning’s latest post: Lipstick Art for Kids
I guess I could ask you, too, what you do to earn an income from home…
Shaunna, it can be done! Take some time to figure out what works for you 😀
LaToya Edwards’s latest post: Welcome Simple Homeschool Readers!
This is a very inspiring post! I have the same question as others, though: do you in fact have a full-time law career now? Or have you shifted to a less intensive job?
Amanda I never took the bar so I don’t practice law. My ex husband faithfully pays child support and I work part-time from home (virtual assistant, blogger, freelance writing). We also live very frugally. We don’t have a lot but we have what we need and each other
LaToya Edwards’s latest post: Welcome Simple Homeschool Readers!
Great job! I did it really similar when my boys were younger. As they have gotten older, I found we had to be more involved in things outside in the community.
Martha Artyomenko’s latest post: Off the Beaten Page by Terri Smith
The elephant in the room… how to earn an income while homeschooling as a single parent. Follow-up post? Maybe with some “day-in-the-life” of several moms who pull this off and how they support their family?
That would be a great post!
Martha Artyomenko’s latest post: Off the Beaten Page by Terri Smith
I adopted and brought home my 8 yr. old daughter in Sept. I’m a teacher in Canada and am fortunate in that I had a 35 week parental leave which has given me time to adjust with her and go through the early transition very much focusing on her. I decided to homeschool her next year – she’ll be starting in Gr. 1 – and am so fortunate that I was able to switch tracks to work for the distance ed. school that she’s signed up with. I won’t be earning as much as I did teaching in the public system but hopefully it will work out and allow me to be with her. Now to balance out all the work and homeschool and regular mom work 😉
Hats off to you!! What an amazing job you are doing. My husband works 12-14 hour days so sometimes I feel like a single parent, but at the end of the day, I have my partner with me. I totally relate to the not going out much due to cost and it just gets to be too much with all the other things that need to be done. Keep it up! Thanks for sharing 🙂
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My husband works long hours due to the kind of work he does and on top of that I have an autistic child plus a 3 yo daughter. I wanted to hs both of my children. My son with autism is aggressive and I am struggling with that right now. I decided to reduce him to part time enrollment in hopes of reducing his stress level. I am bound to become a hermit this summer. All of my previous friends have drifted away and it is extremely hard to make new friends. I had one person I felt I was connecting with who is not too far but now that school is out I have too much anxiety about bringing my son to her house, so I ended up cancelling our meet up, and I don’t really think I can go anywhere besides the park, until he calms down. I am working on that.
Hello Charlotte, I wonder how you are coping. Unsure of where you live, but are you in touch with any local Autism groups? In the uk the National Autistic Society have local area groups that run activities and workshops to help parents, help their children. I know that the Earlybird course greatly help me with my son. Best wishes to you as you learn about your child. Marcia
I am full time blogger, i write for single parents educational program i.e grants and scholarships options. By the way Great post and this blog will be useful for Single mothers. Thanks for sharing.
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Great article, LaToya. Here’s my story: I became a single homeschooling mom when my youngest (of five) was 13. Natural learning was my forte (learned through experience with the older children). But I thought I needed a regular job in order to pay the rent, etc. Someone finally hired me for office work, so on the weekend I rented a home and moved out of my sister-in-law’s basement. But as a pioneer homeschooler, people were always calling me for advice, plus my son really needed Mom to help him cope with the loss of Dad, etc. These thoughts kept running through my mind until the following Monday, when my boss said they really needed someone younger, etc. I was SO relieved to be let go! I went home and made a bargain with the Lord: If He would take care of the rent, I would stay home and do whatever work came my way. I taught a few piano lessons. I was hired by a church as music director. I taught tatting (craft) classes, and I continued to travel around the State teaching how-to-homeschool classes (with son in tow). I made use of food banks and bought our clothes at GoodWill and our books at yard sales and the library. The only time I didn’t have the rent by the end of the month, I was told the landlady was on vacation and I would have to wait a couple of weeks to pay the rent (!). God blessed us in many ways and soon our little home business was supporting us quite well. One of my student moms told how she had a newspaper delivery motor route. She would pile her kids into the car, with books, paper, lunch, etc. and they would homeschool on the road. At lunch time they parked under a tree and the kids ran around for awhile. On the way home, they reviewed what they had learned and planned what they would do on the weekend.
“He will feed his flock like a shepherd.
He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart.
He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.”
Isaiah 40:11 NLT
Kathleen that is awesome! I found that God has provided in ways that I could never dreamed of as well.
LaToya Edwards’s latest post: Welcome Simple Homeschool Readers!
I hear you on God providing! We don’t receive any support, and I really questioned how I would finish my schooling while wanting to stay home as much as possible and hopefully homeschool. I was really lucky in terms of working hard and earning scholarships, and now I’m studying during naptime and bedtime, and running a part-time Montessori daycare from home, which has been AMAZING. I can write off learning materials, we have built-in “playdates,” I’m bringing in an income, and I’m HOME. I truly think that if you’re mind is set to making it work, and you trust that God will fill in the gaps, you can make the leap and it will work out. I’m not sure where this will take us long-term, if I will eventually have a therapy practice out of my home, or operate part-time out of a firm/clinic that my daughter can join me at, or attend lessons/school part-time while I work. But living frugally is a must — when you’re not spending more than you need to, you also don’t need to earn as much. Its simple, but its so overlooked.
Hi La Toya,
I think it is amazing that you have made a point to not let life’s bumps throw you off of what you wanted for your children. Homeschooling in a two parent household can be hard, but as a single parent, even harder. The thing about the word “Hard”, however, is that it doesn’t mean impossible. I think many of us forget that. That is why I want to share your story with others. I am a part of a Homeschool/working parent group and I think that there would be the perfect place to share your entry. Here is a link to the group if you would like to check it out: https://www.linkedin.com/groups?home=&gid=8190802&trk=anet_ug_hm
Thank you for sharing, it was very inspirational 🙂
Hi LaToya,
I´m a single mom of a single child. Right now we have being in homeschool for the past 4 months but I am having some concerns about the social part. We both enjoy being at home but I also try to organize playdates and he is in guitar an judo lessons. I was wondering if you know any other single moms homeschooling a single child. maybe you can help me contact them. Thanks for any advice you may have. Lilian
I am a single homeschooling mom of an only child. Feel free to contact me.
Hi there! I’m a single mom of only child and would love to hear your thoughts on how this has worked out for you all. Considering homeschooling. Work from home and really feeling like it’s the right fit, but have some reservations too. Thanks so much in advance for any information!
Yes it would be much easier to afford homeschooling if you could depend on two incomes, but most homeschooling families survive on a single income. You have made some really good points here. This wonderful advice for all single moms who are looking to choose homeschooling for their kids. Thanks!
I’m curious how to handle the child care aspect as a single mother and homeschooling. It seems Federal Legislation doesn’t allow child care at centers during “classroom hours” (unless that varies by state). How can I locate a child care provider during “office/classroom hours” and still homeschool but in the evening? Any thoughts everyone? I’m new to this, about to relocate to Atlanta area and we won’t know anyone out there.
Love reading your post! I am a single momma of two boys..both starting 2nd grade and I have decided to homeschool. I always wanted to but when I got divorced, I didn’t think homeschooling as a single mom was an option. I am so excited to start on this journey with my boys. I look forward to reading more of your posts!
I saw your name and had to reach out to you because we share the same name. I also have two boys as well, 4 and 9months. I found out my husband is a phycological liar at the beginning of the year. I too that homeschooling was off the table for me now as a single mom, so it’s really inspiring to see it’s still possible.
I’d love to connect with other moms on this path!
I am about to be a single homeschooling mom. I have finally gathered the strength to leave my abusive husband. I have 6 kids ages 7-16. I cannot believe this is my life. But I have homeschooled from the beginning and I am dedicated to continue. I will find a way. I have got to move closer to support. Thank you for the hope you share.
God bless you, Lindsay. Your courage inspires me–lifting up a prayer for you right now.
I really related to your post thank you so much for sharing it- I am also a single mum, to 3 kids 9,7 and 6 yrs and also face the daily struggle of working on top of homeschooling. So it helps a lot to feel like there are others in the same boat making it work the best way they can. Thank you 🙂
Are you still homeschooling and working as well? How do you do it? I have homeschooled since the beginning and am a single mom. I have had a job change and have my two teens at home with my nine year old for a few hours during the day while they do their written work. I am wondering how it works for others.
I’ve been in a bad marriage for years because of a fear of poverty and fear of having to be superwoman and do everything. I’ve only been homeschooling because I’m passionate about the “right thing” and also want to protect my daughter from potential trauma and drama. None of these middle school popularity contests will make any difference ten years from now… Anyway, I’m absolutely certain I’m not the only mom who feels stuck this way. We aren’t wealthy as it is; barely scrape by even as a married couple. If I go forward with this divorce, I’m going to be terrified… and I have no idea where sufficient income is going to actually come from. Sadly, this is the case with many women getting a divorce. Homeschooling and single? Who has the secret to surviving that without eating ramen noodles everyday? And what about that gluten free diet, braces, and those medical bills for your special kiddo on the spectrum with an autoimmune condition? Yeah… I’ve yet to see a good way to do this homeschooling AND be the sole income providing for all that alone. WOULD LOVE to read about >>>HOW<<< women are really EARNING the amount they need to be okay, AND homeschooling to boot. Something that could actually help it become a reality for other moms in the same pickle. Not seeing very many things that sound feasible. I'd be a nervous wreck wondering if I was going to get paid for lots of little/different jobs here and there, never knowing if we were going to make it month to month. That might almost be as stressful as staying in a bad marriage… I see lots of encouragement and inspiration, but last time I checked, the power company, the mortgage lender, the dentist, the water company, etc. can't accept hope and prayer as payment. I do respect all of you ladies who are pulling this off with GRACE… immensely. Obviously, I'm not there yet. Life is really tough right now.
That sounds so incredibly difficult and painful, Lola. I can tell by what you write just how much you care so deeply and want to do the best for your daughter. I don’t have any easy answers, but I am stopping my work right now just to send up a prayer for you and yours that God will meet you in all the hurt and direct your steps.
While I am a newly single mom, one option for income that I have used and am gearing up to use again is listing extra space in your residence on Airbnb. If you even have an extra room in your home you can rent that out for a decent amount per night. Before my divorce, we Airbnb’d a different property and it generated double the income we were expecting. Another option if you are in a college town is to rent a room to a student or international student. Depending on who you find and what you negotiate you could also swap rent in place of childcare.
Your article is very refreshing. I see that many of the comments are by mothers. There are single fathers out here with children too. I am homeschooling my oldest son and working full-time. He has had a challenging last year, but with homeschooling, his anxiety and confidence have begun to build. He’s competent and smart but is hyper-aware of his surrounding. He fixates on others and thinks the worst. These thoughts lead to unhealthy emotions. Couple the false perception with negative feelings, everything turns inward. He’s flooded with his emotional brain, rather than his logical, cognitive mind. Since homeschooling, he’s beginning to blossom into the beautiful, smart, and capable child I know he is. I travel and have an ex-spouse who keeps our son during my business travel. Fortunately, I homeschool year-round. When I’m not traveling (30% of the year), I work remotely. Many times he can accompany me and learn different things, he’d never have exposure to in private or public schools. I believe when it comes to your children, if it’s essential, you’ll find a way to provide the best you can for them. Great to know likeminded individuals are helping to build sharp minds. Thanks for your post. It is a refreshing article.
Lovely to hear from you, Darrin, and God bless!