Written by contributor Sarah Small of SmallWorld at Home
I have never, in a fit of the frustration that is unique to homeschooling moms, threatened to flag down the proverbial Big Yellow Bus.
But here is the flat-out honest truth: I have wondered every now and then if I should. My oldest son attended public school for kindergarten and first grades. As far as I know, he never desired for one second to go back. But there were times when he was in high school that I would think,
“Is this all going to work out right? What if we’ve messed up his whole life by homeschooling him?”
My daughter loved the Junie B. Jones and Ramona Quimby books. Most of the action in these series occurred at school. Such fun things happened there! Parties, plays, recess, glitter-laden Valentine’s cards. Walking home on tree-lined streets. Crossing the street with Henry Huggins. When she was nine, she saved up all her birthday money to buy a “Play School” kit, complete with name tags, report cards, and a chalkboard. Her dolls and younger brother would be her classroom, and I must say she was a natural teacher.
Sometimes I used to think, “This little girl would love to be in school.”
She’s in middle school now, and again, many of the books she reads and movies she watches take place in a school setting. She knows that kids in public school don’t randomly break out in song a la High School Musical. But every once in a while, she’ll say, “I think it would be fun to be around a bunch of people every day.”
And again, I wonder, “Are we on the right track?”
And then there is my youngest son, who is ten. I would be surprised if he has ever had a yearning to go to public school. For him that would mean giving up climbing trees in the middle of the morning, hopping on his bike at lunch break, and munching a snack while doing math.
But in public school, he would be the leader of the pack—the social pack, that is. He would be friends with everyone, and the teachers would roll their eyes and excuse his talking in class because he’s so darned likable. He’d be the prom king and the boy every girl wants to date. Every now and then, the thought crosses my mind:
“Is he missing some calling in life by not being in public school?”
I will admit to having these kinds of thoughts throughout these 11 years of educating my children at home.
Don’t we all wonder, every now and then, if they are missing out on something? It doesn’t take much for me to snap out of the “missing out” funk. We can watch the nightly news or peruse a few blogs to read stories about public education that make our toes curl. Hearing stories of abuse in my own area school system is certainly like throwing a bucket of cold water over my head.
But truly, it’s the positive results of homeschooling that convince me much more than the negative reports of what’s going on in public schools.
I have the benefit of seeing an outcome: my firstborn, my most experimented-upon guinea pig, is in college. Thriving in a college that is three hours away from home. I can tick off a list of all the things any parent wants:
- his grades are excellent
- he has self-initiative
- he has a good rapport with his professors
- he has friends
- he can navigate in a large city without getting lost much
- he seeks out cultural events
- he eats at least two meals each day
- he can do his own laundry.
Any parent would be satisfied with this outcome.
But the measure of success is so much more that what one sees on the outside.
Here’s the thing: He is embracing life.
He never learned that life is drudgery, that “school” is about waiting for the next Valentine’s Day party. He did not spend 12 years in monotonous routine dictated by the ticking of the clock and the buzzing of alarms.
He never learned that books make you sleepy and teachers are boring people, and that it’s always safest to fly beneath the radar. Photo by Princess K8 He has a deep love of learning. He never learned the art of regurgitation. He’s responsible, yet he has a heart of adventure. He’s willing to take risks, and he’s not worried about what people think. He’s unique and confident in his uniqueness. Because he grew up surrounded by unconditional love, he is emotionally secure.
Any fears that he would be labeled a weirdo because he was homeschooled are put to rest. No one cares; no one asks. And as much as he loves college, he enjoys being home with us, as well.
My husband and I have remarked to each other several times that, had we met our son in college, he would be one of our best friends. We would want to hang out with him. And what’s really awesome? He would want to hang out with us, too.
That bus can just keep passing us by. Whatever doubts I have now and then dissipate when I take but one minute to reflect on what really matters.
That is something I worry about immensely as we begin the process to start homeschooling. My daughter is very bright and I want to homeschool her. But somehow (whether it is well meaning family or the dreaded TV) she has the idea that the only place to learn is in school.
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Wow! That was a great post with great timing for me..we do all wonder and even get so tired we think..how much easier it might be if they were in school..but my gut always says “No, silly your doing the right thing for your child!” and then I experience in the next moment exactly why I do it..it’s a wonderful gift to give our kids. Sometimes I wonder who’s teaching who! Thank you for the affirmation:)
Angela @ Homegrown Mom
My oldest went to school before we homeschooled, so I never wonder what we’re missing 🙂 However, she did suffer from what I call “The High School Musical Fantasy” when we started in Jr. High. Now she’s in 9th, and she tells me she’s so glad we stuck with it and wouldn’t want to go back to school for anything. Sweet!
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Beautifully done! Thank you for the encouragement 🙂 Our journey is just beginning, and as a former public school teacher, I have entertained similar thoughts from time to time. Yet, I see the priceless rewards of homeschooling as shining trophies without regret. I pay attention to the needs of my children in the ebb and flow of our day, and I am able to meet their needs where they are. It broke my heart so many times to NOT be able to meet the needs of my 200+ students whom I loved (taught high school). I can do that here, though, and I try to remind myself to not take it for granted when things are challenging. Thank you so much for posting some words from your heart, as well as sharing with us a beautiful success story of a confident young man. Great job!
Yep. My husband and I had a conversation about that after dinner tonight. Our older child went to public school for K-1st and it was a bad experience. We know he doesn’t fit in the system, but perhaps when he is in high school, he might need something extra? And our daughter will be entering kindergarten next year. She would probably fit fine in public school, but there are so many other reasons why I homeschool than just academic fit. Hubby isn’t as sold-out as I am, and worries about me and my sanity, but I wouldn’t have it any other way right now.
I Live in an Antbed
What a wonderful testimony and testimonial! The fruit borne in your family as a whole and the lives of the individuals is full of life and love. That more than enough reason to let the bus keep going. I love what Susan Card, wife of singer/songwriter Michael Card, says about why they homeschool: “We didn’t want to be strangers to their souls.”
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Sarah at SmallWorld
What a beautiful quote! Thank you for sharing that.
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Thank you so much for sharing this!!! I live in an area that doesn’t have a homeschool group so my support is limited. This blog almost brought me to tears because I have the same worries and the same fears! Thank you for sharing and letting us know that it’s ok to wonder but at the same time know that we are doing what is best for our children. And….I’ll try and stop dreaming of flagging down that bus! 🙂
I know the feeling. Our public school is accross the road from us. It has less than 100 students, most of whom we know in our tight knit community. I know and get on well with all of the teachers. My children do some extra curricular stuff with the school and love every minute of it. There are times amid the CRAZY that is our life when I wonder…. But then, I see the flexability that we have and the personal attention I can give each child simply because I have them all day. I see them have TIME to follow their passions. I see my oldest get up when the house is still quiet and complete all her independent schoolwork before the house stirs. And I know, this is right for us right now.
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What a great post! Thank your for sharing.
I especially liked how you described how your oldest embraces life, loves learning, and loves his family. These are the things I want for my 11 month old daughter. Not sure if we will homeschool but posts like this help me feel confident that we could do it if we chose.
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Thank you for this post. I try to look at the positives, but sometimes the other side just weighs down to hard and I fret I’m doing the wrong thing. Thank you for helping me remember the positives.
My big yellow bus just went by for the neighbor’s kids – I was happy to watch it pull away without my kids! 🙂
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Sarah at SmallWorld
I think most of us feel as if we are doing the wrong thing at times! Hang in there and enjoy the journey!
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What a wonderful post! I’m in the middle of a post-holiday slump, wondering if I have what it takes to see this journey through. Thank you for the reminder that there is a beautiful light at the end of this tunnel.
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Sarah at SmallWorld
The post-holiday slump can be a huge obstacle in homeschooling! I often feel like I’m in a fog for the whole January-February season!
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I needed to hear that today! This has been a struggle in my mind all year as this is our first year homeschooling and our daughter went to public school for kindergarten. Thanks for dumping cold water over my head today:)
Love this post. I have only sparingly ever brought up the big yellow bus (maybe 3 times ever and yesterday was one of them LOL!) because for the most part we all love learning together. I think your college student is doing fabulously- I would definitely call that success! Thanks for the great thoughts this morning.
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Wonderful post, very timely as I have been dreading sending my oldest on the big yellow bus to kindergarten next year.
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Yes, yes, yes, so much good truth in this post. Two things struck me, I have know this all along but I couldn’t put it into the right words. School taught me life was drudgery and it beat out my love of learning. It took me until my 30’s to realize that it didn’t have to be that way. Life really can be an exciting adventure and learning for the love of learning is amazing!
There are many reasons I want to homschool my children but these are two of the biggies. Thank you
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Thank you so much for this post and for your words of encouragement. You have no idea how much I needed to hear these words at this season in our homeschool life.
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I love this. Our son is in 9th grade this year and there are times I ask myself, is he missing out on something that could be life changing (in a good way) because he isn’t exposed to it in a high school setting. Then, I look at the whole picture. He is happy, thriving, and has never even asked about going to public or private school. Why would I want to mess that up? I’m happy to hear about your success with your oldest son. Great post today!
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What an awesome post! My son is only 7 months old, but we are looking forward to being a homeschooling family. It seems like the first thing people think of is what they will “miss”. What a great reminder of what they may gain : )
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You put into words what I’ve felt. But you’re further down the homeschooling trail than my family. It was so encouraging to read about your experiences. Thanks for sharing.
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wow, this was really encouraging to read. I have to admit that I have threatened the big yellow bus in moments of frustration. My kids are 4 1/2 and 7 and neither of them have ever asked to go to school but, I do often wonder if they are missing out. Thank you so much for sharing this. I felt really understood as I read this. 🙂
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brava – i love this. our always unschooled daughter is 8, and has spent the last 4 days watching mythbusters non-stop, except for trying her own experiments. i LOVE unschooling. thanks for this wonderful, reaffirming article!
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Thank you so much for this! These were my very worries and concerns this week…. that I called up a veteran homeschool friend to get reasurrance I’m not “screwing my kids up” by homeschooling them 🙂 how great to hear of your son’s success in college – definitely gives me hope as I journey through homeschooling my 5 and 6 year old girls!
Thank you for posting this! I am just beginning to homeschool my daughter and I’ve received the “Why?” question asked almost incredulously when I have told some friends. I have questioned myself, am I doing the right thing? But time and time again I hear about the horrors going on in public schools, I know my own lack of education received when I attended, and my daughter is thriving. That’s the big one, she’s not even 5 yet and she knows all that’s needed for the Kindergarten year! And she’s happy. I do want to try to find some play dates or play groups where she can interact with other kids some, but she loves to learn at home and she is learning so much. I’m thankful to know I’m not the only one who occasionally questions their decision, but what you shared about your son in college gives me such hope for my daughter’s future! That is a goal I am going to keep in my mind so when the doubts come I can just remember the goal! 🙂
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Beautiful post! I know homeschool parents worry about choosing the path less taken, but it seems to me that these are the same parents who are preparing their kids for life better than a public school could.
I absolutely love that you feel like had you been in college and met your son you would be friends. That is wonderful and a testament to how well you raised him.
Thanks for sharing your worries. It’s always nice to know you aren’t alone in fretting over such a major decision. Even after doing it for 11 years!!
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I love this post! It was so encouraging to me as I can remember my mom saying on frustrated days of homeschooling, that’d she’d send us out to public school if we couldn’t get things in order. At times I’m tempted to make the same threat, since we have committed to homeschooling, it’s an empty and foolish threat on my part. My very social daughter talks about going back to the private school she attended for K4, for the sake of the class birthday parties and Christmas concert etc, not about learning. Some days it’s hard not to get discouraged, but I’ll always remember your comment about being friends with your son at college – I hope my kiddos grow up with a love of life and learning that it sounds like your son has. Thank you for sharing this with us! 🙂
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I do think about this sometimes. I think my 6.5 year old would have fun going to school. However, when I assess the trade-offs I don’t think it’s worth it.
As I am considering homeschooling my preschooler in the next year, I am thinking the same exact things, then I remember all the things I disliked about school, and what restricted my child self from learning to my potential, and then I don’t worry as much. Thank you for this honest post, it’s good to know that homeschool pros struggle with the same things.
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Thank you – if just for the first sentence alone. At merely 5 years old, I have ALREADY threatened the boy with the dreaded yellow bus! Followed by hours of guilt, at least next time I know I am not the only homeschooling mother who has gone down that path. I live in a community that has been homeschooling for at least 25 years (a Muslim-American community). Their children, who are now college age, and the children on down from them, are my biggest motivator when homeschooling – they are phenomenal. Like your son, I would want to be their friend were I their age. Articulate, fun loving, studious, creative and more, they carry themselves with a dignity rarely seen in say 12 year olds these days. Thanks for this post and much success to your family!!
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Thank you so much, Sarah – for writing this and encouraging all of us moms of littles!
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Awesome. I don’t homeschool yet, but posts like this give me the courage to try. Thanks!
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I really appreciate having the perspective from someone who has seen the success of homeschooling. Our oldest went to k – 1/2 of 1st grade and the second oldest went to pre-k before we decided to homeschool. This is our 3rd year and I love how it works for our family. Even on the stressful days and having 6 under 9 home all day I know its the best choice my husband and I made for our kids.
As a former public school teacher, this post is so helpful/interesting to me. I started informally homeschooling my daughter this past fall when she was almost 3 because she wanted to go to school so badly and was too young. Now I have discovered how much I love it and I am thinking about continuing. She still really wants to go to school however, so we are trying to make a decision. Thank you!
I subscribe to and enjoy your regular blog. I loved the things you love about homeschooling your children. In fact, I wished I could be home schooled when I was a girl. But I think you’ve really given the public school system a bashing. While I had problems in school now and then, and a few teachers I outright disliked, I had excellent educators, and my public school education served me better than that private school education that many of my adult friends had at great financial expense to their parents. I, too, have a teen aged son in college, doing all the right things, on another coast. I seriously considered homeschooling him, and did a great deal of research with friends who home schooled their own very bright kids, but he wanted nothing to do with it. Even when he struggled, he preferred to do so in the hustle and bustle of public school. With my other children that may not be the case.
Homeschooling is great for the people who choose it, but it’s not right for everyone. I never learned that life was drudgery, because my parents modeled that it’s exciting and full of challenges.
The idea I am trying to express, is that all parents teach their children, whether they do so formally or less so, whether their child attends public, private or home school. All parents should be putting the time and effort into making learning, choice and adventure part of their child’s everyday life.
Jamie ~ Simple Homeschool
I’m glad you have a son doing so well, Antoinette, and that you made the right choice for you and your family. That is all anyone could hope for!
I think Sarah did a beautiful job here of sharing what’s been right for her family and her kids, and I don’t see any type of bashing in this post. We live in an imperfect world – with neither homeschooling or public schooling being the “ideal.” It’s all about finding what is right for our own families.
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I love your last line “All parents should be putting the time and effort into making learning, choice and adventure part of their child’s everyday life.” I didn’t consider the post “bashing” but it did feel a bit like the opposite of homeschooling is hating learning, books, and a life of drudgery.
Like you, I was never homeschooled and I always loved learning – still do! Loved reading, thought life was exciting and enjoyed being challenged by my teachers and my peers. People need to do what works for them but it is unfortunate that so many homeschooling parents seem to equate public school with disengaged kids who have no desire to learn.
Like you, I was public schooled all the way. I LOVED learning and loved all my teachers. I read for hours in my free time, and was even reading Shakespeare by the time I was 10. However, I did go on to become a public school teacher, so maybe I was just born that way! However, I did experience such terrible bullying that I considered early graduation, or at the very least, dropping out and getting my G.E.D. I was bullied for being smart and for being a virgin – things I hope my daughters are when they are teenagers and things I hope they can be proud of! The one reason I am really considering home schooling is because I want them to be confident of who they are. Otherwise, I think public school has a ton of advantages. Still, the socialization there sucks…at least it did for me. I am still really debating. But you are right. I don’t equate public school with drudgery; I do equate it though with vicious and immature children. I guess we all bring our own experiences to the table!
Hi….enjoyed reading this….I have graduated two children from our homeschool and had the same questions many times during those years. I have had the same wonderful results and it has all been so worth it….both my children have turned out to be wonderful, free thinking, life loving, responsible young adults. I am just about to start homeschooling our youngest this September…homeschooling is a lot of work but so worth it!!!
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This is so well written (and formatted). Love everything about it. Doubts are normal. I didn’t face them so much in earlier years, but they certainly creep in the farther we go. It’s wonderful to hear the testimony of those whose HSed kids are (successful) in college. I feel we are on the right track and must simply continue the course. To turn back would be a waste.
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What a lovely story! I always enjoy hearing about HSers who have grown up. My oldest is not yet 13 but I already have such a feeling with her and with the others of loving who they’ve become. I *like* being around them. Other adults and kids alike really enjoy their company. And they love to learn and are just neat people. 🙂 We must be doing something right!
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Sarah at SmallWorld
Getting to be with our kids and LIKING it is such a gift!
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What a wonderful post! It’s so nice to hear success stories of homeschool! I love that everyone has spent so much time thinking about what is the is the right path for our children and ourselves. I have definitely had times that I wonder if I am cut out for this or if my children are missing something by not being in public school. More often, however, I realize that they can get the personalized attention that they need and the consistency that I feel is important, at home (we move a lot due to my husband’s career). I love posts like this because it reaffirms my choice and allows me to know there are so many others out there who have the same questions. Thanks so much!
I am on the other side of the fence, where my children are currently in Public School, but we have a goal to start homeschooling, this summer, with my son (he’s a high schooler next year). Believe me… your children are not missing out on anything. Somedays, I really think the only thing the school, my kids go to, cares about is Attendence #s and the scores on the Map tests. Oh, and Fund-Raising….ugh!!! Instead of trying to find out why my daughter still can’t read at the age of 9…. These are the things that keeps me on track of attaining my goal…which is, to bring both children home to be educated.
Sarah at SmallWorld
Katy–Best wishes as you work toward achieving your goal!
Sarah at SmallWorld’s latest post: Burying the Big Yellow Bus Simple Homeschool
Yes! We started homeschooling 3 years ago and I wonder from time to time if this is the best thing for my children. But, you are right. We just had schools being locked down and the parents unable to get to thier children for hours and hours, due to shootings north of us (in Los Angeles). I looked at my husband and laughed out loud, “Yet, one more thing to which we don’t have to subject our children.”
Many of my children’s “friends” who attend school are sneaky, liars, rude, foul mouths, downloading porn to their parents computers, Googling things they shouldn’t be AND people ask me, “What about the socialization?” My only response, “You say that like it’s a good thing?!?!”
We can’t go to a restaurant without people coming up to us and telling us that our children are so well-behaved. They never fail to use “thank you” and “please” to the servers and the servers/owners/managers always thank US for coming in.
Thank you for this article. I think it hits a nerve in any homeschool parent.
YES! YES! YES!
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Unlike my sister, I never wondered for as much as 1/1000 of a second about the “yellow school bus”. There were many reasons we homeschooled, the first being that we wanted the best “education” for our children. However, I honestly see no other choice that maximizes education. The state schools steal from others in the name of “free” education, a clear violation of the 9th commandment. The “choice” we have is to defund these “free” schools. If people want to have schools for their own philosophies they can either homeschool or start private schools but please, please don’t allow the state to usurp the clear responsibilities of the home and church in educating children for one blessed second MORE!!!
A homeschooling Dad of his kids all the way to college (never having them in a state school for one second!)
renee @ FIMBY
Thank you so much Sarah. Just the encouragement we moms with younger children need to hear.
Honestly, my children have no interest in going to public school. They are way too independent and creative in their thinking and everyday routines to want to sit down and do what someone else wants them to do for the better part of their day.
Even my two especially social children have expressed no interest in going.
Certainly, they do stuff I need and want them to do throughout the day but they know my job and my commitment is to support their learning, to help them grow in skills and experience in what they are interested in doing.
My husband and I also feel that if our children want to spend most of their day elsewhere (at this young age) then something isn’t right at home. Home should be “where it’s at” and we strive to make this reality.
Trina @ Joy And Contentment
Sarah, I love this post! Thank you for the reassurance. There are days we all need it.
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Mothering From The Maelstrom
I didn’t worry at all about “missing out” because of homeschooling until we moved. Our current home is in a rural area with a teeny tiny homeschooling community and not alot of resources unless you want to spend all day driving in to the city. We also have no neighbors within a quarter mile and the kids have no neighborhood friends anymore. So the “missing out” that we’re having trouble with is the social thing. It wasn’t a concern back in the suburbs, but here it’s more of a problem.
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I love Love LOVE this post! We are still relatively new to this – only our second year – but I definitely share some of your views here. Very inspiring, well done! 🙂
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Jenn @ Beautiful Calling
I was so glad to read this. We’ve unofficially been schooling this year (Before Five in a Row) and are starting Sonlight PreK this fall. Chloe loves it. But she does talk about when she is bigger and goes to a big school. She’s such a little socialite that I wonder if I’m being unfair by wanting to homeschool.
I’m glad to read that there are others who wonder and guess at times too.
I know she can have a wonderful social circle in a homeschool group and I know all the reasons and benefits associated with it but sometimes I just have a niggling little doubt.
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Awesome post-came at the perfect time-when school is getting a little tough and we are gettin ggrumpy from the super cold temperatures outside. Thank you, I wil be pulling this out often in the coming weeks.
Thank you so much for this post! Unfortunately, my children love those big yellow buses…I can probably count on my fingers the number of times they have boarded one, but the thrill remains. I took my daughter out of school in the beginning of her first grade year (last September) and trying to navigate the challenges of dealing with her missing the lineups, cafeterias, class parties, etc., to trying to find the right curriculum for her, to hoping I didn’t make the wrong choice — has not been easy. I appreciate posts like these and hope I can remember that I am not alone and that homeschooled children like mine will be just fine. Even better than fine. 🙂
I read all these posts and i get excited about homeschooling my kids. I have two kids currently in public schools. My daughter is 12 and my son is 13 and let me tell you this, My children have been nothing but really unhappy and depressed . I’ve been thinking about homeschooling my kids, i know they are older now and i really do not know how to start doing this…I am very depressed watching the teachers fail my kids over and over even though i help them with every homework,essay,questions etc… I know my children are smart and do not deserve this failure in life. Can someone please tell me how to start homeschooling please? i feel if i leave my kids at these public schools they are going to grow up and be on depression pills and never accomplish their dreams in life, and i would never see their little faces with a smile like when they are at home with me. Help me please.
First…great blog. Enjoyed reading it! Thanks for the encouragement.
To the poster….first, breathe! You can do this. It will be a transition for you guys, and your kids will need to “detox” a bit from public school life so give yourselves lots of grace! You might start out (especially if you were to start now vs say September) by going to museums or something “educational” together. Start with some field trips to have fun and “get to know” each other again.
As far as what to teach….there are lots of curricula out there for homeschoolers. You could do online, workbooks, literature based…it’s really your choice. I use a literature based one (Sonlight) but we have four boys that will reuse it, so the cost isn’t as much when spread out (plus I don’t mind spending money on books. 😉 ). So just sit and think about what you want them to learn (world history was a big thing for me…I felt it had been lacking in my education) and then search for what will fill that for you.
Don’t aim too high right now. It’s ok to go a bit low to get a feel for where they are educationally. It would be better imo to need to add on (say reading or math), than to have it too hard and stress everybody out from the start.
I hope this helps and that you guys enjoy!
Sarah at SmallWorld
Texana and “me” offer great advice. I’d also recommend googling “deschooling.” There are lots of articles that will pop up. Since your kids have been in public school for so many years, you’ll ALL need to break away and not rush back into school-at-home. You’re doing a lot already by reading blogs, researching, and asking questions! Eventually you’ll come upon the kind of homeschooling that is a good fit for you and your kids. Maintain flexibility and enjoy the journey!
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tracey - justanothermommy
Just… do it. I pulled my eldest out in 4th grade and have never regretted it. Neither does he! He NEVER wants to go back. Look for local groups for support for yourself and friends for your kids and just remember that you can most definitely do at least as good a job as the public education does. And? You’ll most definitely do a BETTER job.
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Oh, Daisy, I’m so sorry you’re in that situation! First, I would Google homeschooling and your state. That way, you will know what to do to do this legally. Then, just do it! Maybe you could start over the summer. As Texanna said, decompress from public school for a while. Take them to the library and let them get books on any subject that interests them. They don’t need book reports or anything like that. Just let them learn on their own.
I believe that your children will do remarkably well. Try homeschooling for a while. See how you like it. There are so many benefits to doing this, not the least of which is building up their self-esteem after so many years of negativity.
Best of luck! You’ll do just fine! Remember: you taught them to walk and talk. You can do it!
Aadel in KS
I love homeschooling too- but my oldest daughter has never experienced public school and she does get teased for being “weird”. Sometimes she wants to go to public school just to feel normal. I tell her that it is not a valid reason to try to appease rude and unsympathetic people. She is very social, and has never met an enemy. She tries to please everyone- all the more reason to not send her to school. But sometimes- for an instant- I wonder if one day at school would help her understand that normal is not all it’s cracked up to be.
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Hilary @ KatrinkaJane
We homeschooled before we moved to another state, and I entered public school in 2nd grade. Even as a gifted student, I was truant in 5th grade and was finally pulled out in 6th for half a year because I hated school. Loved learning. Hated school. Devoured books. Hated school.
Fast forward. One of my final college classes as an elementary ed. major was Exceptional Learners, where I looked forward to getting some training on gifted education — the area in our school system that failed me. The class covered mostly learning disabilities, plus gifted, blind/deaf, and other “exceptions”. When the professor (head of the Ed. Dept.) went around the class and asked each student which “exception” they’d like to be placed with for his/her practicum, I said “gifted”. Her response flabbergasted me so much I wrote it down and have never forgotten it: “Gifted teachers aren’t really teachers; all of the kids want to be there anyway.” Wow. Such ignorance and bias from the head of the entire department? If I’d had any doubts, that sealed it: my kids would never be in public school. Even (especially?) after teaching in our school system (and later, at my alma mater), I’ve never looked back.
We started easing into “school” activities this month, but my 4½ year-old can already read and do simple math. Send him away to school so he can get in trouble if he feels like jumping up and down when he counts? Heck, no.
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Standing ovation with a round-of-applause!!!!!
Loved what you said about meeting your son in college and being friends…I actually started crying.
LOVE this! Thank you so much for this post! xoxo
tracey - justanothermommy
Only OCCASIONALLY do I wonder. And then I remember all of the crap that they would be “required” to do in public school. I remember that the socialization in ps isn’t free – it’s structured and segmented and supervised. No thanks! I do wish I could find some good book series’ that aren’t all about school, though.
tracey – justanothermommy’s latest post: Sweeter than Honey…
To the poster thinking about homeschooling her 12/13 yr olds- go for it! I have a brother who was failing in school, and had all sorts of discipline issues at school when he was in 8th grade. My mom pulled him out of school early in the year (late September). She had NO plan, she told him he needed to figure out his life. Anyways, after sitting around complaining for a few weeks he took the initiative to purchase an math video game. He taught himself calculus, trig, and computer programming over the following months. He was put back in public school the following year- but continued learning these things on the side. At the age of 18 he started his own web design business that has flourished for the last 7 years– along with many other pursuits. Basically, he taught himself more during his 1 year at home (and learned more about himself, his interests, his drive) and was able to straighten himself out. It set his life on a different, much better course! Go with your gut and HS!
I enjoyed reading this, it brought a tear to my eye!
A most excellent and honest post. Although we’d always planned to home school — we sent our oldest to public school and now after 6 months, I feel like this is the biggest decision of our lives. Ya know? I think…this decision is going to determine who she will be, and at times, although I feel homeschooling is the best option, it is scary to think that I am setting the course for her life. But, that’s what I’m supposed to do. Crazy.
I’ve been giving homeschooling serious thought for many of the reasons you mention. Additionally, we’ve begun to look at preschool options for my two year old (eventually three year old…sigh) and the ones that resonate with me philosophically are way out of our price range. So, for many reasons, homeschooling seems very attractive. But I see my quick learner, who devours books, gravitating towards the preschool classroom attached to the local rec center, loving the bus we take at the national park, and sometimes worry about what she won’t get to experience. I have to remind myself that there are tradeoffs for every choice, and a close family, a good education, and an undampened love for learning are things she will hopefully experience by learning at home, at least for a while. Thanks for sharing.
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Thank you so much for your honesty and willingness to share your thoughts. This really hit home with me, just last night I had a freakout about the very subject of your post. Nothing like a well written piece to shake me out of my little drive to negative town.
Apples of Gold. A word of affirmation. Before I had children, I wanted to homeschool. After I had children I actually >longedcalling< to homeschool. But the answer was still no.
So after much prayer and information overloads, a rough school year with my oldest–an acclerated, possibly gifted learner–whom simply does not fit inside the teacher'd box, and a reluctant kindergartener whom is right on track, but could be ahead with more one-on-one, my husband has finally agreed to homeschooling! And the relief in my heart is palpable! But. B-U-T! I am terrified that I'm making a bad decision, that I going to ruin them forever!!
I keep waffling back and forth. I think though, after reading this, I have one less teeter in me toward public school. I've definitly got my lean on the other way!
I keep praying for a clear, 100%, no-doubt-about-it message from God. "YES. I WANT YOU TO HOMESCHOOL." Instead I hear, "Step into this boat I'm in. Don't be afraid. Let's see where it goes…"
A thousand times, thank you!
“I keep praying for a clear, 100%, no-doubt-about-it message from God. “YES. I WANT YOU TO HOMESCHOOL.” Instead I hear, “Step into this boat I’m in. Don’t be afraid. Let’s see where it goes…” – YES. Wow, what a beautiful concept for more than even homeschool. I had chills reading this – thank you for posting these words. (PS you’re going to be an amazing homeschool mama with that attitude!)
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My previous comment should read, “…lomged to homeschool. And last year, I actually felt a calling to do so.
I think I may print this out so I can read it over the years! My 2nd grader’s last day of school is tomorrow and he’ll be HOME! I am so excited to begin (earlier than expected) and yet as I do, those exact thoughts you mentioned are surfacing (and helped along by others). Thank you!
i began homeschooling at the beginning of this year and it is nice to be able to see my kids and me actually raise them i have plenty of days like this, some days i think im doing so well and others im like idk what i was thinking, i think part of my prob is that i dont know anyone my best friend (only friend really)moved away and i dont have any time to myself it is always with the kids dont get me wrong i love it but there is only so much i can take lol. we had a local homeschool group but they took the semester off for diff reasons so they dont meet anymore, i also go to church and that is about the only place the kids see other children but i feel sometimes that is isnt enough.. how else do you guys (in a pretty small town) get socialisation for yourselves and kiddos ?
Ashley, keep a lookout for other groups. You may find them on Facebook, Yahoo Groups, Meetup… Or reach out to some of the families in that local group you know about. Set up one outing or park date, and go from there. I started setting up a monthly nature walk with a few other moms, and now it’s a regular event and we’re starting to get new people. Also, local museums, libraries, or nature centers may offer homeschool programs. If not, suggest it! There are probably other families out there feeling like you, you just have to find each other!
Hi, I just wanted to tell you that I saved this article for a must-read when I\’m having doubts about homeschooling or just having a bad day. This is an excellent article. It is well written and thoughtful. Most of all, it is encouraging to those of us with kids who haven\’t graduated yet, those of us wondering if we are doing the right thing. Thank you for your sound wisdom!! Blessings to you and your family!!
I think this is one of my favourite reassuring blogs I’ve read in a while. This is my 3rd year of homeschooling, my son is turning 12 in the next Month. For the first time I’m exploring unschooling or in the very least eclectic schooling. That in the midst of ominous storm clouds looming over our right to Homeschool as we seem fit, here in South Africa.
I so deeply desire for my children to experience far more of life than the text books that they see before them every day. I hate having school at home. I need to see my children thrive even more than they do so now.
This is the author here, and first, thank you for all the kind words. I am so glad that this article is still getting shared on Facebook! I do want to say that, three years after I wrote this, these words are still all soooo true! My oldest son is now about to graduate from college. He has maintained his absolute love of learning all the way through. Last semester he studied abroad in Italy. He absolutely loved the experience there–traveling, going to art museums, etc. His only complaint was that his actual classes were “mediocre,” taught to a middle level student. He was excited to get back to the challenging courses at his college. And THAT is just one more reason that we homeschool: we don’t want a steady diet of mediocrity for our kids.
Anyway, just wanted to step back into the conversation after a few years and encourage you all to KEEP GOING!!
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Thanks so much for this article. It was an encouragment to me as I am taking two of my kids out of school (we have done both public and private). Sometimes I get down on myself and my kids. None of us are high achievers when it comes to school. Yes, two of my kids are good students and get all A’s. I’m not sure if I really value this! My sister just called to me that her second child (as was her first child) was just admitted to one of the best HIGH SCHOOLS in the country. It’s grades, test scores, and interviews that got him one of the coveted spots. I’ll admit, I had a pang. It hurt when she told me. I felt disappointed in our lack of accomplishments. My kids are not on that road of “success” or “achievement”. They really won’t be now that I’ll be homeschooling them. In my heart, I just want them to find their God-given gift and go with it. I want them to love Jesus, and to walk humbly before Him. I want them to be men of integrity. But in weak moments (as when my sister called), I doubt myself, and I wish I had chosen the path of academic excellence and high academic achievement. I’m struggling and I’m not so sure I’ve made the best decisions for my kids. Thanks for sharing what matters. It encourages me!
I am so happy that I have stumbled upon this blog! ! We are struggling with the idea of homeschooling our 8yr 2nd grade graduate. Every point you talked about is my fear. She’s an A student, class social butterfly that all of the teachers and students rave about. I fear her personality changing or her becoming depressed by not having friends around. Then I know that her anxiety levels during times when inclement weather causes lessons to get behind which means being rushed to leatn or memorize just to pass the tests.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and journey.
I could second what you already know… I’m a successful homeschool graduate (I did grades 1-12 at home) and now I’m preparing to start homeschooling my oldest (grade 1). She’s very social and she did Kindergarten at school, so I admit that sometimes I think maybe she’d have more fun at school… but school isn’t just supposed to be fun. I want her develop that love of learning that you talk about, and I also want to encourage her curiosity and develop skills that I know I learned as a homeschooler that my school friends didn’t (self-discipline, housework, baking, cooking, etc). Thanks for sharing!
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I love your blog. You must be thinking what I am thinking. yesterday I was on fb and a friend posted their child finishing up valentines day things. I am not a huge valentines day advocate. I would rather not celebrate it, but I do not judge others for enjoying it. Just not my cup of tea. What I did not like is how you stated, waiting for that valentines day party. I could stand the emphasis on Valentines day. Its all fine and dandy to have fun, but jeez let up on it a little. Not only are they waiting for that one event, they are all learning that we all must get valetines from people we like, and the anxiety build up. What if you are forgotten. Anyways I also remember the anticipation for the 100 days of school. I love celebrations but it was like the one thing to look forward to And schools are limited but I am glad I took that big leap of faith and started homeschooling. It was a lot of anxiety and I realized now looking at my daughter, yes she misses having friends but she is so happy.
Its not easy but its fulfilling. Its not in vain, not just doing something to do it.
So glad I came across this article! My eldest is 4, and while we have been loosely schooling at home, I feel like this is IT, as she would be going into preschool at a public school. I constantly wonder if we are doing the right thing. But then I remember how I felt about school… The things I learned and the things I didn’t. And the problems my husband had because he’s dyslexic, And it makes it easier.
As does your article! Thanks for the pep talk.
Thank you for this! I am about to start homeschooling my would be first grader. I must say that I was feeling the anxiety with the Back to School rush but after reading this piece, I feel more at peace. I know in my heart this is the right path for us, but my family has NOT been very supportive. Thank God my husband has been on track with homeschooling since we first discussed it. He has been my rock through this! 🙂
What a wonderful and encouraging post. My youngest starts Kindergarten this coming fall. He has Cystic Fibrosis and we’ve decided to homeschool him. The school near our home does NOT have a full-time nurse on staff and we are not comfortable with sending him into such an environment. Now our older kids (12 n 10) want to homeschooling with him this coming school year. They are not liking the new schools they had to start this year (we are a military family ). We are hoping to find what would work best for all of our children since most kids learn differently. This post has encouraged me to find what is best for my babies, wither it’s home, private or a different public school. Thanks. 🙂
Great post! I could have written the same thing. We have been homeschooling for 21 years, and as of May 2016, four of my five children will be college grads. My youngest is still at home for one more year. We started homeschooling when my oldest was 9 years old, and I had those same doubts and fears from time to time as the older kids were growing up. However, I have now seen them tackle college, and later the Army, overseas travel and humanitarian work, employment and self-employment, marriage… and like yours, they are leaders; they are well-liked and respected by peers as well as teachers, bosses, etc; they are responsible; they are adventurous; they are compassionate; they have their heads on straight; they love their parents and siblings. No regrets at all.
Anyone who has the least little worry needs to do just one thing: Read John Taylor Gatto’s excellent book, An Underground History of American Education…with a highlighter in hand. It is long…but SO worth every minute! Once you realize what school is REALLY all about at the root level, you will never, ever, EVER wonder again.
Thank you so much! We’re in our 3rd year of homeschooling with a 6th grader and a 3 year old. I have many years ahead!!
I’ve often had the thoughts you mentioned – will I mess them up? Is this right?
Thank you for sharing your heart.
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Wonderful post … especially the part about him being someone you would hang out with and vice versa. That’s really pretty great! In honesty, I definitely remember making mention of the yellow bus option on a few rough days early on. I’m now at this same stage of the journey that you were when you wrote this post and feel very much the same way:).
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