Celebrate and Serve: 2 ways to help a wide age-range get along

Celebrate and Serve: 2 ways to help a wide age-range work together ~
Written by Kari Patterson of Sacred Mundane

The tabs currently open on my computer:

• FAFSA form for college financial aid
• Printable Spiderman coloring pages
• OSAA High School wrestling schedule
• IEW phonetic games
• CollegeBoard SAT dates
• Marvel easy-reader books
• Canvas Parent Observer account

My kids range from 4-18, and the age-differences can be dizzying. We’re navigating basic addition and college applications. Consonant blends and precalculus. 

Anybody else?

There are many helpful articles out there about possible schedules, splitting up the day to help different children, ways to include youngers with the olders. My intent is simply to offer one overarching goal as a guide.

In two words, it is:

Celebrate and Serve: 2 ways to help a wide age-range get along

1. CELEBRATE their siblings.

I have written about this before, but there is great benefit in learning together and living together with wide age-ranges.

We just finished a 1,600-mile round trip road trip to visit my brother and his family over Thanksgiving. It is a long drive, but nothing compared to the 6-week, 10,000-mile road trip we did in 2022.

Yes, being cooped up together for that long can have its moments, and what activities interest some ages certainly don’t interest the others. But I believe the benefits can be even greater when we encourage our children to celebrate the differences between them and their siblings, rather than resenting or despising them.

How? We, as the parents, get to lead the way:

Teens and adults alike do well to not take ourselves too seriously — a little running around at the park, going down a slide, swinging, playing with play-doh, coloring, building Lego sets, and having a Nerf battle.

All of those things delight little ones and, I dare say, delight us big people if we’d just let ourselves relax a little bit and have fun.

Similarly, we can help little ones embrace the lifestyle of older kids — going to sporting events, riding in the car taking big kids to activities, going to museums, and learning to play independently so Mom can help the olders. All of those things can be “big kid” milestones and can be celebrated.

All younger kids want to “be big,” so having older siblings offers lots of opportunities to do just that.

2. SERVE their siblings.

There is just no way to overstate the importance of this, and having a wide age-range is a great way to practice.

We have to model for them and instill in them the value of serving their siblings. Siblings are the first practice they have for relationships, for marriage, for co-worker interactions, for friendships they will have their whole life long.

Sibling relationships matter! And having a wide age-range is incredibly helpful because it gives them a daily opportunity to love, appreciate, and serve those who are different from them. 

I constantly see my teens embody this, and it makes my heart soar. They take the littles for me, play games with them, help them get dressed, get ready for bed, help teach them, and read them stories often without being asked at all.

After six years now of having little siblings, they have learned to see needs around them and step up to serve.

The little ones are still in process. Just today I asked Justice (6) to wait to go outside until Ben (4) was ready, then asked him to also help Ben get his shoes on. He was in a hurry to get outside to join his friend, so he sighed exaggeratedly and lamented, “I’m not his parent!”

So yeah, the enthusiasm to serve each other isn’t always there. *smile*

Little ones can serve the olders as well. Little Ben can carry Dutch’s laundry upstairs for him, since Dutch is at his Community College classes all day. Both little boys can help with chores, make signs to cheer on their older siblings at events, help pack their lunches, etc.

There’s no end to the opportunities to serve each other.

So while yes, a wide age-range can be hard, there are also so many opportunities for good. It can look different for each family, but let’s celebrate and serve.

* Read more from Kari’s 12 years writing on Simple Homeschool.

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