Written by Kari Patterson
I hesitate to write this post because I know many of you already have this down, and it might even seem silly to you that some of us still struggle with this.
- For example, if you wake up every morning to a clean house, this post isn’t for you.
- If your homeschooling space always looks fresh, organized, and inspiring, this post isn’t for you.
- If you have your home-management systems down flat and your house runs like a well-oiled machine, this post isn’t for you.
- Or, if you truly love messiness, and it doesn’t bother you one bit that stuff is stashed here and there and everywhere and you like never knowing what’s for dinner and you genuinely love flying by the seat of your pants, this might not be for you either.
But if you, like me, have struggled for years trying to successfully manage housekeeping with homeschooling, tune in.
If you, like me, start each year fresh and optimistic, then somehow devolve into disorganization and discouragement, hang with me. If you, like me, sometimes think, “If I just don’t mention the word ‘dinner’ maybe they won’t remember…”–there’s hope for you here.
If you try to tell yourself, “This is just happy chaos!” but deep down you really long for a little order and maybe even a clean kitchen–pull up a chair. So glad you’re here.
It wasn’t until this year that I realized this simple truth: We simply aren’t at our educational best when things are messy and disordered.
A clean, organized space actually aids education.
It aids relationships.
It aids my emotional health.
It aids my ability to serve others.
It aids our efforts to spend quality time with our kids.
As we consider how to HOME-SCHOOL, most often we talk about the school component, and not the home. The truth is, the state of my home hugely impacts the quality of our education.
Several months ago we hit a crossroads as a family where I cried out for help in the area of cleaning and organization. Most of the messages I had heard on this topic were, “Just relax. It’s a season. Don’t worry about it.”
And I get that. I’m not talking about Pinterest-perfect house. I’m not trying to keep up with anyone or impress anyone. I have no Instagram image to keep up.
But the truth is, having a messy, disorganized home is stressful. At least for me. Mess equals stress and stress never puts us at our best.
Not knowing where the tape is, or the pencils are, or what we’re having for dinner, or when I’m trying to fold laundry while teaching fractions–That is stressful to me. And, at least for me, the solution wasn’t to throw up my hands and say, “Oh well, that’s life!”
For us, the solution was that as a family we decided to follow the FlyLady app and commit to doing whatever she told us to do, no questions asked.
I’m not exaggerating: It’s changed our life dramatically.
The first 11 days we followed her, each doing the simple habits outlined in her app, every single night we were able to have 1.5-2 hours of family time together after putting the baby to bed, all because our house was already tidied and clean and we were ready for the following day.
(After that we had summer fun and family visiting, but the routines remained the same.)
My husband keeps saying, “You’re so HAPPY all the time!”
Yes, I’m happy! I can physically feel the difference in my body. So much less stress. Because we know where things are, we are ready to host or serve or do whatever because our home is reasonably clean and ordered. We know what’s for dinner.
We have time to play games and relax and tell stories at night because our routines are done and things are in place. I actually spend much less time keeping up our home because of our routines and systems.
And again, I’m aware that this might come easy for many of you, but honestly somewhere along the line I wish someone had said: You’re trying all these different tricks and tips for educating your children, but what will help you most is simply committing to keeping a clean house.
Maybe that’s what one of you precious people needs to hear today, too? It might seem like the last thing that matters, but it might make all the difference.
De-cluttering. Doing without. Simplifying. Sticking to simple routines, day in and day out. Requiring daily follow-through every single time, even when I’d so much rather slack or let it slide.
So this may not be the most inspiring back-to-school blog post, but if it strikes a chord with you, perhaps our one goal this year is simply: To keep a clean home in order to aid education.
To carry out the simple habits that I know help us in our homeschool. To shine my sink each night and make my bed each morning, and quickly swish and swipe those bathrooms, and take ten minutes to clear my hot-spots and set my launch-pad for the next day. To teach my children the healthy habits that will help them their whole life long.
There are lots of systems out there. Personally, FlyLady is the only one that’s worked for us–she’s helped well over a million people find freedom from chaos, so it might be worth a try! But whatever system you choose, I just want you to know you’re not alone if this has been an area of struggle. I
f the chaos and mess is causing stress in your life, you don’t just have to shrug your shoulders and pretend it isn’t stressful. Let FlyLady, or someone else, help you. You are worth it!
Your health and mental well-being is worth it. Your children’s education is worth it. I’m cheering you on.
Your turn: What housekeeping system has worked well for you? Please share!
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I read your personal blog post where you first mention the FlyLady. Since then, I’ve been using her system, and telling all the moms I know about it! They are great daily habits, and her zones are brilliant. Thank you for sharing!
Oh good! I’m so glad that can be helpful!
Kari Patterson’s latest post: The surprising path to rest
I absolutely resonate with this and have found this to be so true of me too! Mess DOES equal stress!! While I don’t shine my sink or make my bed, we have figured out that a cleared dinner table and dishes done and countertops wiped and the toys put away each day provide a blank slate for us to start school the next morning! And my kids are even old enough now to do all of those things! Sweet!
So good, it’s so true that what bothers one of us won’t bother the other, while certain things can feel so stressful. Being able to identify those things and communicate them kindly with our families is so helpful. I remember when I told my kids once that one simple way they could bless me is anytime they see a chair out they could push it into the table. So small, but my sweet son (who is clueless about cleaning) will often walk by and push a chair in. Little blessings!
Kari Patterson’s latest post: The surprising path to rest
OH boy – I need this!! Thank you for this post. I am going to copy this down and post it: “De-cluttering. Doing without. Simplifying. Sticking to simple routines, day in and day out. Requiring daily follow-through every single time, even when I’d so much rather slack or let it slide.” – Thank you SO much!! Sunshine
Oh good, so glad it can be encouraging!
Kari Patterson’s latest post: The surprising path to rest
I don’t need my house to be as clean as the Flylady would have it! Hahaha. But keeping things decluttered, finding whatever routines keep the house going (for us it is laundry almost every day, diaper laundry overnight, a daily chore chart for me and kids, meal planning always and 2 dishwasher loads a day) keeps me sane!!! When things get out of wack, I know that the routines need adjustment because something has changed. It is hard to strike a balance sometime with “this is a season” and I need a peaceful environment to function well!!!!
Oh my, me neither! I definitely don’t have her standards but I love that she constantly emphasizes “even housework done poorly blesses your family” — it’s not about perfection but about being a blessing. I’m glad you’ve found a rhythm that works for you, that’s awesome!
Kari Patterson’s latest post: The surprising path to rest
I have always done better with the homeschooling when the house is clean, too. I tried FL years ago but tried too hard to make her system perfect for my home (and you know how she feels about that word!). After trying many other systems, I sat at my computer one day in frustration and told myself “What I need is someone to just send me an email each day telling me what to do…….Oh.” I immediately signed back up for Flylady. Almost two years now. Our house isn’t perfect, but it’s nice, and better all the time. We no longer have to take days off school to get it back under control 🙂
Oh my goodness, I can relate. I actually heard about FlyLady years ago but it wasn’t until this time when I felt the same way you did, “Somebody tell me what to do!” that it really stuck.
Kari Patterson’s latest post: The surprising path to rest
Kari,
I’m so encouraged by this. I just started FlyLady after reading one of your other blog posts. How long did it take before you really started to see a difference in your home and were able to have extra time to spend doing other things?
Your comment about maybe them forgetting about a dinner rang so true with me! I have thought this! Thank you for your post. It is very hard to educate from a place of being stressed and overwhelmed.
Haha oh good, glad I’m not the only one who has thoughts like that!
Kari Patterson’s latest post: The surprising path to rest
Thank you for this post. I’ll check out the Fly Lady app. 🙂
This subject is exactly what I’m trying to hone in on right now. We are just starting homeschool this fall with a five year and a four year old (we also have a one year old). On the positive side, everything has a place in our home, and if it doesn’t it, it soon will, or it is out. General tidying is going well and keeping up with the laundry. We are eating in most of the time instead of often eating out (this was a goal of mine a few years ago), and we are eating things made more from recipes instead of quick, processed things that require you to just heat up (a huge improvement from two years ago before I knew how to cook much).
There are three areas that I am really trying to refine–the dishes, the bathroom, and the floors. I probably spend the same amount of time on the dishes as I would if I was doing them *after* cooking and eating rather than *before*, in order to have things to use. BAD! I know. It has been an ongoing challenge to the point where my husband is just used to seeing a sink full of dishes. I poured in and got the dishes caught up this morning. I procrastinate on the bathroom to the point that it is a little gross in my opinion. I pretty much do a good job of sweeping the floors, but other than the bathroom floor, no cleaning with water and soap! BAD!
I have a sense of what it would feel like to have these three target areas on track, and it almost hurts to compare it to what has been. I just don’t know WHEN to do the bathroom and the floors. Simple reflection and a decision is a huge next step on this. As far as the dishes, I NEED to reflect upon the fact that if I let them sit after using them, the time required to catch up is simply going to accumulate like debt. If I don’t have time now, when will I have time later? And it will only be more dishes. We don’t have a dishwasher, so it is all by hand. I like our dishes very much, and it is inspiring to me when I see them clean, shiny, and put away. A little reflection on the logic of the situation is what I need to do. I would love to have every dish that we need in the morning to be ready for the morning. It would be nice to have all the measuring cups and spoons, mixing bowls, and baking pans ready to go when we’re baking something.
Bedtimes are another aspect we are honing in upon, but that is a subject for another comment!
I first started doing Fly Lady back in the late 1990’s . Before the internet she mailed out daily emails with lists of things to do. I never was perfect but a lot of her daily habits I am still doing after 20+ years. It would be so Awesome if I could get my family on board.
We started our first school year this week and I’m trying hard to make one of my daily habits having a clean kitchen every single night. It makes all the difference in the world to me to have a clean kitchen in the morning. I feel behind already if everything is dirty. With four kids, 6 and under, (one being special needs) life is just hard right now and a clean kitchen gives me a jump start. I’ve known about FL for years but I didn’t know she had an app…I need to check it out! I never feel like I get everything done these days.
Ooh yes!! I discovered Team TOMM (https://www.theorganisedmum.blog/tag/tomm/) this past year and her methods have been wonderful for me! Her stuff is all free on her blog but she also has an app. I think in much the same way the FlyLady app does good for you. It’s nice to have guidance and someone reminding you that good enough is good enough. But it’s so nice to have a PLAN that has an END for the day as well!!! 🙂
This post was very helpful. I’m curious about how you use the system as a family. Do you each have your own separate routines and split the work or you do each of the tasks together at the same time?
I need this so desperately and have looked into it since reading your post! I even shined my sink;) I was wondering which app you use (premium or messenger)? Thanks for the inspiration!