Did you know that at least 100,000 kids in the US are considered “unschooled?” And after Good Morning America’s segment on unschooling last week, outraged educators and concerned grandparents are linking arms.
But what’s the truth? What’s it like to be unschooled? What are those parents thinking?!
As a mom of three unschooled kids, including one who became a National Merit Scholar, allow me to explain.
Unschooling is Built on Two Simple Observations:
1. Kids are born to learn.
How much instruction did your child need to learn to walk and talk? And given the right environment, he can effortlessly learn several languages before puberty.
An excellent book on the ideas behind unschooling is Learning All The Time
2. Forced learning kills the desire to learn.
Have you noticed that kindergartners usually love school? Then by second or third grade, your lively learner has started to drag his feet–either dreading, fighting, or ignoring school tasks.
I didn’t want school to ruin my children’s love of learning. I wanted each of them maintain the joy of childhood and the joy of learning–all the way into adulthood.
So when Peter, my first little guy, was old enough to start school, I said no. And while my homeschooling friends trudged through expensive curriculums, we … did other things.
In our home it was endless summer. We flowed from preschool into elementary school without dimming the wide-eyed approach to life.
I watched him. What excited him? What made him want to know more? Those were the things we focused on.
Common Concerns
Now Peter is almost 21 and attends the University of Chicago. One mom asked if he thought interest-led learning prepared him for college and if it gave him any advantage.
Here’s how he responded:
Definitely! Probably the biggest one is simply that I’m not burned out. I still have the energy and motivation to take school seriously, whereas many of my peers stopped doing that years ago. In addition, it’s given me the ability to be self-motivated and find opportunities for myself instead of just waiting for them to happen.
Another advantage is that I had the opportunity in high school to really start preparing for college, especially in the areas I’m interested in. I’m finding a lot of the introductory classes very easy, because I had already covered the basics on my own. There aren’t any philosophy classes at the local public school, but with my interest-led education I was able to get into some pretty advanced philosophical topics before I even went to college.
Another concern I hear is that unschooling is for lazy parents. But really, unschooling is for crafty, detective parents who teach without anyone realizing it. It’s for parents who are constantly searching out experts and opportunities to feed their little learning machines.
Some parents assume unschooling means no hygiene and no chores. Not necessarily. It’s your home, and as loving, respectful humans, we have to learn to live together and be healthy. Kids can understand that. Interest-led learning, in my opinion, is first a philosophy of education.
How it works in your family life is up to you.
I’m at the end of my unschooling journey, for now. One of my kids says I have to homeschool my yet-to-exist grandchildren. But until then, I’m basking in the rewards of being the mom of three very different young adults who love life and learning, and are still kids at heart.
What do you think of unschooling? Could you incorporate some interest-led elements into your homeschool?
Perhaps the issue lies not in the method, but in the name. “Unschooling” sounds very neglectful to the public school crowd, and there are the parents who take it to the extremes and get the attention of the media.
I can see now that there were aspects of interest-led learning in the homeschool method my parents used, but there were also increasing levels of structure as we moved from elementary to middle to high school ages. My parents found a nice balance of structure and freedom in those especially important years of 7th – 12th grades. We did course work, but still had plenty of time to explore our other interests – horticulture, botany, beekeeping, etc.
Fast forward to now: my younger brother and I both received full academic scholarships to college, and both graduated at the top of our classes. He heads to graduate school in the fall, and I work successfully in corporate America. I credit the philosophy my parents used in homeschooling for much of my success. One of the most important lessons to teach any child: it doesn’t matter if you can regurgitate the answers or replicate the math problems. What matters is whether or not you understand the concepts. Students who begin their educations with interest-led learning have this advantage over their peers – they learn for the satisfaction of learning, not for the result (that is, grades).
That’s an excellent point. I agree that the name “unschooling” is too negative. Interest-led learning is more accurate, in my opinion. Congratulations on your success, and kudos to your folks!
.-= Jena’s last blog: Unschooling on SimpleHomeschool =-.
Hi Jena
I appreciate your words as I am starting to think more about unschooling lately. I started thinking in a school way but am not entirely happy with the schoolish set-up. I also never follow things exactly so I can never follow a set curriculum. We get too interested or change our methods or divert.
My daughter is 5 1/2 and homeschooling in a semi- structured way. I find literature based activities or real-life or manipulatives style maths the most enjoyable for both of us. I want Emily to also learn some more independence though.
What does interest-led learning look like for a 5 yr old? Would you do any phonics? Do you do any spelling words? handwriting practise? DD thinks it’s so great when she realises that the letter to the zoo is actually “school” but don’t we need to practise the letters a few times before we can write the letter? I guess I am thinking a small amount of drill facilitates the real-life activities the child is interested in.
I find interest-led activities to be very demanding – DD is unable to read on her own, unable to make a lot of things on her own that she really wants to and most of her ideas are expensive, complicated and would require me to put in 99% of the work. She says she wants to grow flowers. She can’t press the soil down firmly enough around seedlings for them to grow! She can’t lift the watering can easily or turn the garden tap on herself.
I think DD loves me being in there doing stuff “for” her and would much rather me continually help her than do things herself. She enjoys interaction with others (including me) and is happy not to push herself mentally or physically. I like things to be done well and I think often jump in to help sooner than I should.
I would be interested to hear your comments if you are able to respond.
Thanks,
Jude
Hi Jude,
Your comment makes me smile and brings back such great memories. Yes, teach her to read and write her letters as much as you both want. If she is eager to learn, make the most of it! We can’t be afraid to teach–it’s the overteaching that turns kids off.
And yes, interest-led learning can be very time consuming for the parent when the child is little. Do whatever you can, and remind her to be reasonable. Mommy only has so much time and energy! Sometimes you can get her started, show her how, then stand back and see what she does with it. And we have to loosen up on our perfectionism. At this age, the purpose is their exploration and discovery more than the finished product.
If her interests are too expensive, etc, try offering other ideas that she would like just as much. One of our daughters wanted to take riding lessons and get a horse. That was just not going to happen in our family. It was very hard to work through that, but we survived.
Kids need the freedom to follow their interests, but they also need to realize that they are not the center of the universe. Learning to defer to others, to be patient, to make the most of what they have–those are all part of being a successful human.
But we parents need to communicate this in a noncondemning way, as I’m sure you do. I always had to remind myself to be gentle and kind to my kids as much as possible, in all areas of life, and as a result, they respect me and follow my lead when it really counts.
Hope this helps,
🙂 Jena
.-= Jena’s last blog: Unschooling on SimpleHomeschool =-.
I have two 4 year olds who are very demanding of my time and attention. They are both highly motivated to do their own things. Even things like my son’s interest in supeheros lead to interesting tangents involving bats, gravity and magnatism. My daughter reads at a 2nd grade level so she loves to read all types of books.
My biggest problem now is balancing housework and doing stuff with the kids. They want me to do things with the ALL THE TIME! I love spending time with them, but it is very demanding with me. Even as I type this, they are pulling at me. So I take bits of time to myself when I can get them (I’m pretty introverted). I can’t imagine having a set curriculum to follow! I have enough stress right now without thinking about having to plow through things we both might find boring or tedious.
Jena, once again, thanks for your inspirational writing. I also LOVE your blog.
I’ve been thinking about switching to homeschooling for my youngest because he has Asperger’s syndrome and school does not seem to be helping him in any tangible way. I have spent hours now researching unschooling from many different angles and I feel that my older two children have really been missing out. I have watched them struggle to stay interested in the subjects provided at school and to care about things they have no interest in now. Having grown up in the traditional school system it seemed normal to me-doesn’t every child burn out on learning?, aren’t we supposed to learn how to do the subjects we don’t like because that’s a lesson about the way life really is?, etc. I was too caught up in traditional thinking when it came to schooling-which is odd because I tend to be very non-traditional in other aspects. Your blog has helped to cement my own desire to allow my children to become self-led learners if that is their choice. What I want to know is: Is there anyone out there that has any experience with switching from public schools to self-led learning with older children? My kids are in middle school and high school, my oldest only has one year of high school left. And does anyone know anything about may be letting my oldest wait until he’s nineteen before having him take the graduation requirement testing associated with homeschooling? I’d like him to have some real time off from all the pressure. Also, are there any other single parents out there trying to do something like this? I would be fighting their father on this subject and I’d like to come to the fight as armed as possible. Thank you so much-to all the bloggers and children of unschooling parents!
What great questions! It’s never too late to “deschool.” Kids love summer break, so consider this an extended summer break. Eventually their real selves will emerge and want to dive into something that truly interests them. Ask them if they want to take lessons of some sort, or get special equipment to do something they’ve always wanted.
And as far as delaying test taking and entering college, yes! A lot of public schoolers take a year off between high school and college. Generally, kids take the SAT or ACT in their junior year, but you can take it ANYTIME at any testing center. Just check out their websites. And many colleges are not requiring homeschoolers to take the GED. Many will just want your homeschool transcript. If your child has done a few years in a public high school, just put that on their homeschool transcript. Include an official transcript from that school, plus your home school transcript, when you apply to colleges.
Hope that helps! and Go for it!!
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Great article… thanks!
Is Jena’s blog still available? I clicked on it and it said that it was private and readers need to be invited.
I am so unfamiliar with unschooling, I just recently heard about it. I would LOVE for or family to be able to do something like that. It sounds amazing from what I have read about it. I’m just a little confused, do you really not have any lessons during the day and you just do whatever comes to you? I’m the type of person that needs a schedule and has to stick to a schedule. That however is not how my children work. I feel like school is this horrible task to do everyday and that it is literally ruining my relationship with my son. He is so smart but refuses to actually think when it cones to book work. He could sit there and watch a documentary and our read a book and learn so much! However, when it’s time for school the brain shuts down and it’s this huge battle to get the work done. If someone could help me out and tell me exactly what unschooling is I would love to hear more! I just really feel like we are getting burned out and I hate it! I want my kids to have fun, have a love for learning, and just be kids.
Thanks for the article Jena, very encouraging to hear from a Mom whose children are now adults. What do you do if your child doesn’t come to you wanting to learn Maths or to write? They are such important skills to have but if I instigate or “teach” them there is mutiny but then later one of my sons will use a Maths concept that I “forced” him to learn and feel really proud of himself! Do you think that sometimes children dont actually know what they need to know, if that makes sense?
This is my MOST FAVORITE article I’ve found about this topic. I’m a mess cause I totally planned my 12 y.o. last six year outline. We got off to a super start! And,… now everyone is just burnt out! It’s almost ridiculous. Learning feels like it gets ‘capped’. Things get cut short OR run sooo long we miss lunch, etc. I just think we could ‘do it all’ without the stress.
I totally know and believe we can do this. I am what I usually refer to as a Holy Spirit Led Homeschool Mom. Not floofy by any means. I take this quite seriously. Too serious. Our state is totally free. I wonder about High School transcripts for College. Do you simply count hours and test on an overall basic knowledge, understanding and participation (projects, plays and papers)? Any insight would help. I would have loved the joy of learning at home and I know the three boys do too!
Blessings to you and yours ????
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Jena,
Thanks for making unschooling so easy to understand! As a public school teacher who was initially homeschooled/unschooled (it was a bit of a hybrid I think), those philosophies have stuck with me in public education. I’m constantly searching for opportunities to insert student choice and interest into the monotony of pacing we are expected to keep. The more voice and choice my students have, the more engaged they become. I’m looking forward to following your blog and learning from you!
We have been homeschooling 2 years (kids getting burned out at traditional school) and the love it. What does unschooling look like for middle school and beyond? How is more advanced math and grammar taught if they aren’t “interested “?
I have seen the same with my kids. My kids are not burned out when they get to college and they are ready to work towards their chosen majors. They also choose tough areas to major in….engineering and computer science so far.