Written by Sarah Mackenzie of Amongst Lovely Things
As if I hadn’t procrastinated starting our homeschool year until the latest possible moment anyway… we had a doozy of a first day back this year.
It’s almost like the new school year set out to mock me right from the get-go. It’s a year I’ve entered into with much trepidation (in an nutshell: an eighth grader, sixth grader, fifth grader, potty-training 3-year old, twin two-year olds… and a partridge in a pear tree).
It was 8:30am on our first day of the new year. I was pulling the twins out of the dishwasher, scolding a child for a sassy attitude, and barking orders at my kids to finish their chores and get to the table- STAT- so we could get going with our day.
(Right, so… it was not my best parenting moment. Ahem.)
Then I heard him yell.
He doesn’t usually yell- and certainly not like that, so it caught me off guard. I high-tailed it up to my bedroom to find my husband on the floor, stiff as a board, face contorted in pain.
“I…. can’t….. I can’t….. move,” he said between strained breaths, “…at all.”
And things more or less unravelled from there. My husband spent the rest of the morning on the floor and the entire afternoon at the ER.
He’s better now, thankfully, but as for my vision for our homeschool on the first day back?
Pfffffffft.
It isn’t the first time I’ve had a homeschooling day fall apart on me, of course. We’ve had lots of crummy days over the years, but something about this being the FIRST day back for the year? It seemed symbolic.
I really, really hoped this wasn’t a sign of things to come.
So far, it hasn’t been. Our last little string of homeschooling days have gone rather well, actually. But I know another hard day is right around the corner. I know it because I’ve been at this long enough to know that they aren’t rare.
Hard days are both reliable and unpredictable, which makes them unbelievably maddening.
So what is a harried homeschooling mama to do when the day starts to fall apart?
If we know these kinds of days are going to barge in and unsettle our best-laid plans, is there anything we can do to temper them when we seem them coming? To save a homeschooling day before it goes completely and utterly to pot?
I’ve asked a whole lot of experienced homeschooling moms that very question over the years, and for the most part, they all say a variation of the same thing:
When the waters get rough, focus on what matters most, and just do that.
Just do more of the best things in your homeschool while simultaneously decreasing (or eliminating) the busywork and fluff.
Well doesn’t that just sound splendid.
I can practically hear you through the screen: Ummmm….. Sarah? I don’t need trite advice. I need to know what the best time and energy investments in my homeschool actually are!
Well.
I know. 🙂
If you’re anything like me, on some of your worst days, you’ve wished you could ask your favorite homeschooling experts what exactly they mean by “what matters most.”
You wish you could call up Andrew Pudewa, Susan Wise Bauer, Andrew Kern, Sonja Shafer, Julie Bogart, or Rea Berg, and beg them to tell you just ONE thing to help you get clear on what’s most important— to give you just one little nugget that would help you simplify your homeschool day.
So. I asked them for you.
(I asked some of my other favorites, too.)
I collected all of their answers into this handy little free download for you, so you could print it out and put it in your notebook. You can look at it every day and know that you aren’t crazy, you aren’t failing, and you don’t need to overcomplicate this homeschooling gig.
You just need to focus on what matters most. And while each of these experts say that, they also tell you what they think those bare essentials are. They tell you what, as far as they can see, matters most.
Go ahead, download it real quick. I’ll wait. 🙂
Because in order to be a peaceful homeschooling mom- one who has razor sharp focus on what matters most in her own family’s homeschool- your actual day (even your worst one!) needs to be in alignment with your deeply held values. That’s going to look a little different for each of us, but the important thing to remember is this:
You are enough. You, with all your flaws, shortcomings, worries and doubts. You’ve got everything you need to be the kind of homeschooling mama you were meant to be.
So am I.
So I’m thinking we should spend a wee bit of time here at the beginning of the school year getting crystal clear on what we’re going to do when the day starts to unravel.
And we should remember that if you don’t check all the boxes on those pretty lesson plans… if we can’t manage to make our real homeschool look remotely as delightful and lovely as it does inside our head…
It will be okay.
We can do this.
Focus on what matters most… and just do that.
What would you say matters most in your homeschool?
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Thanks for the download! This year I have been trying to refocus on what matters most. I know the three R’s are important to us. But, on those days, I have started to just throw it all to the side and find something that will continue to make my kids fall in love with learning. So, I would say, guiding my kids toward loving learning is what matters most to us right now.
I love this, especially because I have no doubt that’s what our kids remember most!
I’m fascinated that this post appeared today . . . the very day after a-really-rough-day-that-was-too-hard-to-go-into-detail-about-in-a-post-comment. Did I do what was most important? I don’t know. The experience has left me thinking long and hard about what is most important.
Anne’s latest post: A Week, Briefly (#7)
I hope today is a better one for you, Anne!
Sarah Mackenzie’s latest post: RAR #30: Reading Aloud with Boys, Cindy Rollins
I’d really have to say that relationship matters the most. On those really hectic days, I still make sure we fit in our Bible reading, and we try to fit in a little math. That’s it. Learning is such a natural thing, that it will happen even if we don’t try. It happens during walks when we gather leaves and talk about the seeds we find. It happens when we talk to our neighbor who is a nurse from Jamaica. It happens when we write get well letters for a friend who is ill. I’m never one to fret-even if we don’t get to math. One thing I’ve learned is that life experience is the best education.
Shelly: “Learning is such a natural thing, that it will happen even if we don’t try.”
This. Yes!
Sarah Mackenzie’s latest post: RAR #30: Reading Aloud with Boys, Cindy Rollins
“You are enough. You, with all your flaws, shortcomings, worries and doubts. You’ve got everything you need to be the kind of homeschooling mama you were meant to be. ”
I actually texted my husband this morning “I quit.” Thanks for the pep-talk; much needed today.
I am so glad to hear I am not the only person who sends their husband these types of texts.
With 2 out of 3 kids sick on our second week of school, amongst other problems, I need to be constantly reminded of this! Thank you.
Oh the timing of this post is just perfect. In the middle of our morning circle time today my toddler announced he had to throw up, so we ran out to the deck, my 6-year-old closed the door behind us and … locked us all out of the house. Woof. What followed was not one of my best parenting moments either. After we got back into the house we got warm, fed and now we’re all resting. Sometimes just keeping everyone safe and fed is the best we can do on a bad day.
oof! What a day!
Usually, when people are frustrated or we all need something different, I read. Being snuggled up together and getting lost in a story seems to help almost always.
Reading on the couch together is always a homeschool day saver for us! Sometimes after we read, we take a walk or do an unscheduled art or cooking project to lighten up everyone’s mood. It’s still learning just not what was in the planner, but sometimes God has other plans for our day!
Sarah, I have implemented your notebook idea for my girls this year. It has helped us all so much to stay on track. I love the simplicity of it & my girls love using it! Love your blog & your podcast.
Thank you Jenny! And I agree- read alouds have the capacity to save the world (at least, the one within these four walls!)
Sarah Mackenzie’s latest post: RAR #30: Reading Aloud with Boys, Cindy Rollins
Fabulous! I really appreciate the focused question, “What is the most important thing in your homeschool?” I’m going to ponder on this, to make sure we stay aligned, even on our bad days. Thanks!
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My kids don’t do traditional homeschool.They are in a online school and It worked at first as an alternative when i first brought my oldest out of a bad (regular school) but now with working on lessons with 3 students and trying to fit into an online schedule its awful. I have officially decided that next school year we will switch to mommy planned lessons. Me and my kids are so stressed with trying to enjoy being home together plus have to be on a computer at scheduled times.I have tossed and turned in the past over being enough to teach them on my own. Now i realize that no one knows them better than me and with god’s help i will be enough for them! Thanks for the post!
So glad to read this post. I actually called the local school by the end of the first week. I really thought I was going to crack. It has been a very trying year so far. My children are (almost ) 12, 9,5 and 2. Hormones, whining, nitpicking all kinds of tough obstacles this year. BUT we are sticking it out and growing closer to God very intentionally, so maybe all part of the difficulties? Anyway, so needed as a reminder that we go through these seasons.
I can so relate! Two years ago I had an emergency appendectomy on what was supposed to be our first day of school. That was a crazy few weeks trying to recover and do school. But still, even without major health issues, we all have those days that just don’t go as planned. We have to do what we can and then pick it back up the next day.
Oh yes, we found our ‘Min Schooling” list out of desperation. I have a huge list of options now but quite often I declare it a reading day. Always have good books and a reading list on hand.
We dance in the kitchen. Music helps 🙂 Or we retire to our rooms with good books!
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