The following is a guest post written by Anne Bogel of Modern Mrs. Darcy.
For whatever reason, some kids hate to write.
I don’t mean they dislike it, or they’d rather not today, thank you. No, I’m talking about those kids for whom writing “The cat sat on the mat,” requires the physical effort and mental stamina of climbing Pike’s Peak (but probably with a lot more fussing, whining, crying and arguing).
These kids aren’t faking: writing is genuinely difficult for them. (Especially when they’re young, and especially for boys.)
Your challenge as a teacher, a parent, and an academic coach is to keep their disdain for handwriting from turning into a hatred of school, which happens all too often because the thing they hate most (handwriting) permeates every subject.
Thankfully, most writing haters get over it–without intervention–by 4th or 5th grade.
But until then, these tips will help you — and your child — cope.
9 tips for doing school with a kid who hates to write
1. As far as you can, eliminate the writing in every subject but writing.
The goal is simply to master the material.
2. Do the work out loud.
Instead of written worksheets, try oral drills for math facts, phonics, translations, fill-in-the-blanks, paragraph summaries, etc. Or, do the worksheet but do it out loud.
3. Use stickers.
If your child is completing a worksheet, try writing the answers on small stickers in advance. Your student can then place the correct sticker in the appropriate spot for his answer. (This has the advantage of feeling like a game.)
4. Make it a matching game.
With a little advance work on your part, your child can match up Spanish nouns with their meanings, coins with their names, states with their capitals, dates with historical facts, and anything else you can think of.
5. Play “secretary” for your student.
They dictate, you record. This lets your creative child get their stories, summaries, or science observations out of their head and onto paper.
6. Get creative with spelling word practice.
To practice “writing” spelling words, let your child “spell” the words with his finger in a shallow container of rice, sand, beans, or water. No paper or pencil required.
7. Consider starting typing early.
We started our pencil-hating kids on Ten Thumbs at age 7 (at their request), but kids as young as 5 can begin typing lessons. Dance Mat Typing from the BBC is another good program — and it’s free.
8. When your kid must write, equip them with coping strategies to help them handle it better, or let them find their own.
My writing-haters self-soothed by swinging, spinning and sprinting down the driveway, preferably before and after handwriting time.
9. Make the writing easier:
- Switch to markers or smoothly gliding pens.
- Ditch the paper for a dry erase board. This giant white board has been a game-changer for our school. (I’m not sure we could have handled long division without it.) Individual boards are portable and take up much less space.
These tips and tricks require a little extra work on your part to implement. But if your writing hater still loves school (well, except for handwriting class) I hope you’ll agree with me: it’s worth it.
Do you have (or have you had) a student who hates to write? We need your tips, tricks and coping strategies!
Great ideas! I especially love #3!! I plan on trying that next week for my struggling writer (who ironically has the best handwriting of all my kiddos)! My oldest son also would “resist” when asked to write when he was younger. I remember how freeing it was for both of us when one day I finally broke down and just told him that we would talk through the math worksheet together. He flew through the problems in a tenth of the time, and we realized that fighting about writing was not worth it. He is 10 now, and it is not as much of an issue anymore. At least now my 7 year old has a more understanding mother! Thanks for the post.
Ugh. My 14ds(Adhd) cannot write. It’s like there’s a disconnect between his brain and his fingers. And the thought of having to write something leaves him so overwhelmed he can’t even get the words in his head to begin with. When he’s not stressed about knowing he has to write it down (or even that he has to tell me abd I’ll write it down) he’s fine. Top scores on national tests. Straight As And in 8th grade is taking high school algebra, science, and sadly ELA… Which I wish we were just taking regular 8th grade English language arts. He’s struggling so bad right now. (We use K12 through an online public charter school. We were doing traditional homeschool but he wanted to go back to public school at some point for HS; I needed him prepared to be successful by understanding definitive due dates, teachers who don’t think their footie pajamas are acceptable, etc lol)
But I’m at a loss. I don’t know how to help him. I have no problem writing. Words fall from my fingers like water. I’ve never struggled. I have no idea what it’s like for him to not be able to catch those swirling dervish words in his mind, so fast he can’t comprehend them as they pass again and again…
And without that understanding…. How can I help?
I have gone to our K12 teachers and ended up being sent to the remedial special ed reading teacher. :-/
He reads on a college level. He literally taught himself to read by reading my college anatomy and chemistry books… he doesn’t need title whatever.
He needs someone to help him pull the words and thoughts out of the jumble of his head.
I don’t know why your obviously intelligent child can’t write, but have you seen a specialist? They may be able to identify the “why,” which in turn could help your child move forward. Several of the above comments also include stories of parents who discovered an unexpected underlying reason for their child’s hatred of writing or inability to do it, and with that understanding were able to do something about it.
Wishing you and your family well. Your child sounds like an amazing student!
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Something we have been doing for math: I bought a set of number stamps and a stamp pad so that my young son can focus on solving the problems rather than number formation.
Thanks for all of the great tips for limiting handwriting as we continue forward.
My 2 sons were homeschooled from kindergarten through graduation. My second son enjoyed putting his thoughts and ideas on paper through drawing and some writing, but when it came to writing for school, he struggled with putting answers on paper. We discovered that he had some learning challenges through a series of tests. Traditional education offers few strategies beyond coping mechanisms for students who are quite bright, but have these types of struggles. However, I would like to recommend the website nild.net to parents who are unsure if their child/student truly has a challenge or is defiant. The national institute for learning disabilities has some truly wonderful therapists who have the tools to help students reach their potential while relieving some learning angst. Their programs made an enormous difference for my son and gave him applicable skills which he still uses as a college student. I can’t recommend this resource enough and I hope it will be helpful to someone else reading this post!
These are all great! My only suggestion is that when you have to creative write, try a quick write of 10 min. Do it with your child…don’t worry about spelling or handwriting or anything, but getting words on a page. 10 min of whatever you brain comes up with…might start it with “The door opened and then…..”
My oldest has a hard time with letter sounds, my youngest has a pyhsical problem with his hands, I hate writing…we all manage with all the same suggestions you have given and the quick write.
Thanks for the article. Would love to get your thoughts on this: my son is in his second year of high school and still hates writing. His English teacher says in class he is attentive and can verbally articulate well thought out ideas however, when it comes to putting it in writing it doesn’t reflect his ability. She has suggested, as the article does, that typing could be of benefit to him, but she does caution that when he has to do exams and MUST handwrite his responses it could put him at a disadvantage.
This is all 4 if my kids!!! Unfortunately schools really stress writing from an early age now–not just handwriting but sentences, paragraphs, essays, reports, all too early. Schools have drilled the love of learning out of my kids, and now as a homeschooler I’m trying to reteach them to love it again. Just like reading, I feel a child will mature and grow to like it ‘when they are ready.’ I’ve taken most writing out of school (except a little handwriting-which is solely copying/tracing) and am very slowly reintroducing it. I use some occupational therapy tricks too to strengthen their hand muscles and dexterity. Mechanical pencils force a child to not push so hard, a little plastic grip to promote better hand-hold, homemade putty to play with for flexibility and strength… Dictation and typing have been a HUGE lifesaver! Often the hate of writing is a result of another issue like dysgraphia or dyslexia, motor or sensory issues, etc… Thanks for sharing this!!
I got my son to write things down for me on my grocery list as I go through the kitchen and see what we need. He inserts little extras, and if I can read them, he gets them. He feels like he is helping me, and his handwriting has improved tremendously. He still does not like writing for schoolwork, but realizes it is something he will need to know how to do and he is much less resistant now than when I first began homeschooling him.
There are some great tips in this article. I would encourage any parent who has a child who is still struggling with writing past 2nd grade and who isn’t just a reluctant writer to consider the need for an evaluation for dysgraphia. By the end of 2nd grade and into 3rd grade if you are still seeing problems with the mechanics of writing (letter reversals and pencil grips) then there maybe a bigger issue than just reluctance that will resolve with maturity.
Hi!
Tanks for this article! My kids (and me) hate handwriting. Unfortunately here in France we have controls and the authorities don’t like that they almost don’t write… We’re trying to move abroad though.
I would add another tip in your list: using technologies. My kids work on the ipad and on the computer (on Khan Academy for example) and we all fond it a lot easier and more fun.
Anne-Cerise’s latest post: Numérique : les apps éducatives préférées des enfants – 4
Thank You for the tips. My son has Sensory Processing Disorder, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Anxiety, and OCD. He is almost 9 and writes like a preschooler. We are going to try some of these tips!
Thanks a mill 4 all these. I need help for my 10 years son. copying notes from the board at school has become an unsolvable problem. His writing is a mess too.he hardly finishes his note. I used to help him but I have decided to stop helping him copy. by September he will be in 5th grade. I need help urgently
New homeschooling mom here.. with a second grade son who HATES writing. I think he gets more frustrated about writing because he is a perfectionist who also hates not knowing how to spell all the words he wants to say correctly. Being new to this world, my only concern with not “forcing” him to write something each day, is that I will have a fourth grader who is really far behind in writing skills. I grew up in public schools so my mind always goes to “well, if he were in school, he would be doing MUCH more writing.” I know that may not be the best attitude towards the situation, and again, I’m sure I am just speaking out of fear we will have a huge gap as he gets older, but can you give me any pointers on either how to relax and trust it will all work out? It’s so tough! Thanks for your blog…makes this momma not feel so alone 🙂
Funny, my worries for my public schooled third grade son sound identical to yours 🙂 My only tip is don’t assume they are doing more writing in public school because they are probably doing less! Almost everything my son does is on a worksheet, multiple choice or fill in the blank. When I asked at his goal setting conference (2 months into school) what had been written all that could be produced was a six line collaborative acrostic & one free written paragraph. I’m panicked because he freaks out anytime he has to write something & he isn’t getting any practice. Also a perfectionist afraid of spelling mistakes I’m starting to think this all comes from a lack of exposure but trying to help him at home after he’s already been at school 6.5 hours is only going to make him hate it more. Uggggg!
I realize this is an old thread by now, but stilll wanted to say thanks! My 11 y/o son is exactly what you all are talking about. Super intelligent, ADHD, fine motor struggles, dyslexia, probably dysgraphia. Homeschool year 1 (3rd grade) he learned to read, and learned to LOVE reading, and I backed way off of handwriting and writing in general. Then we tried the typing thing, and that helps. Still has trouble getting ideas out clearly on paper, but it’s coming. And spelling…let’s just say that I’m glad he can use spellcheck. Recently someone was telling me about some phonemic awareness issues he may have, too, so we may back way up for a little while and try to find the holes. We’ll see! I’m also interested in the detained reflexes…could explain some things? Thanks again!