Written by Anne Bogel of Modern Mrs. Darcy.
Last week, our 10-year-old surprised us at dinner when she said, “I memorized something. Want to hear it?”
And then she recited The Charge of the Light Brigade, by Alfred, Lord Tennyson, in its entirety, without missing a word.
I was floored.
Now I know many of you study poetry in depth with your young students, and rely heavily on memorization for your homeschool curricula. At 6 stanzas, 260 words, it’s not completely daunting. But it’s not something we do in our homeschool. At least not right now.
So of course I wanted to know: how, and why, Sarah had memorized that poem.
The answer came out: our babysitter challenged her to.
My kids need diverse role models
My husband and I are deliberate about creating a content-rich environment at home. Our shelves are stocked with good books and we have piles of great audio by the CD player. We hit the library regularly. Reading is a family value: it’s part of our identity.
But as important as the family influence is for our kids, they need more role models.
Sure, we have extended family and friends, grandparents and neighbors, teachers and coaches—but the person my kids see the most each week is our regular babysitter, whom they adore.
(You know you’ve found somebody special when at your first meeting, she introduces herself by saying: There’s something you should know about me: I love reading and always bring a pile of books along when I babysit. Are you okay with that?)
I appreciate that my kids spend plenty of time playing and studying and learning—with someone who’s not their parent.
My kids need content that I don’t choose
Our babysitter always brings books along with her when she comes, and reads them to the kids. She brings over her library books and cookbooks for the kids to peruse. And the kids are always listening when she and I compare notes about what we—the adults—are reading this week, and loan our favorites back and forth.
If I wanted to pick a poem for Sarah to memorize, I wouldn’t have chosen a piece about an ill-fated, bloody military battle. But our babysitter loved that poem, and was excited about it, and got Sarah excited about it, too.
Our babysitter has good taste, but it’s not my taste, and that’s a good thing for my kids. Their experience shouldn’t be limited to just those things that their parents are interested in.
My kids need different expectations
I wouldn’t have challenged Sarah to memorize that poem: I would have been afraid it was too hard, too long, too overwhelming.
But that didn’t stop our babysitter, and Sarah was determined to wow her by learning it cold. She practiced it by herself, over and over, and enlisted her older brother to help her learn it. (I knew they were quizzing each other but I thought it was for their cottage school homework!)
I didn’t have the opportunity to nag: I didn’t even know about it. But I wouldn’t have needed to, anyway: Sarah was highly motivated to meet someone else’s expectations, and someone else’s standards: highly valuable things for a kid homeschooler.
Because we homeschool, my kids spend a lot of time at home. Or at least, with their parents. But I think the homeschooling experience is richer when it’s a team sport: I’m grateful that my kids have other people in their lives as well.
As important as our influence is as parents, my kids need more role models, more diverse content, and different expectations than we can provide on our own.
What has your experience been like in this area?
Weekend homeschool links
I am so thankful that my girls have a diverse circle of personalities and people surrounding them. They are enriched through several groups, classes, church and co-op groups that we are a part of. Still the beauty of homeschooling is that, in most cases, we can protect our children from things that we might believe to be harmful in this world – yet we allow them to experience different cultures, diversity, didn’t opportunities, etc. Homeschooling Life is good for the Moore family!!
Loved your insights about others can be a good influence in your child’s life and a needed influence as well… Whether homeschooled or not!
Bethann’s latest post: A Prayer for the Weekday Mama
It really does ‘take a village’ to raise a child….but I’ll choose the villagers, thank you! 😉
priest’s wife @byzcathwife’s latest post: what happens to the wife & children when a married Catholic priest dies?
I completely agree, and I think this need for additional outside influences increases as our kids get older. I know it has for us. Great article.
Hannah’s latest post: The World’s Okayest Mom
I’m finding the same thing is true for my kids: as they get older, this is becoming more and more important.
I love this! I have thought about some of the reading and academic influences that my children have outside of my husband and I–grandparents, godparents, teachers, etc. But I hadn’t extended the circle far enough. Great food for thought!
Sarah@TheOrthodoxMama’s latest post: Weekly Goals
Absolutely. Very well said! I’ve written on this topic several times — as we have been blessed to be not-parents to so many of “our kids” [smile]. But, personally, I found five benefits mentors gave me.
~Luke
Luke Holzmann’s latest post: An Encouraging Word for Mother’s Day
Anne, I tried to articulate this to other homeschoolers when they inquired about my decision to send my sons to a one-day-a-week program beginning in 7th grade. My sons were challenged by a man teacher to reach higher academically than I would have ever imagined. That experience helped make them amazing writers and deeper thinkers. I am so thankful they had the experience and encourage all homeschoolers to find a program that encourages their students to aim high!
We do a similar program and for similar reasons. Glad to hear it’s working for your family. 🙂
I love this post, Ann! I find my kids LOVE their co-ops and ‘learning camps’ (like extracurricular classes that are a certain length of time, like, 6-8 weeks), and do so well for those teachers, whether they are the ice-skating lessons coach, or the gymnastics instructor. Next year they will be doing more co-op classes with actual subjects, not just fun PE-like classes. I know they’ll love it, because it’s fun to get to know someone else who is passionate, excited, and eager to teach a subject I may not care for.
Sarah M
Sarah M’s latest post: 15 in 2015 // A New List for A New Year
“It’s fun to get to know someone else who is passionate, excited, and eager to teach a subject I may not care for. ”
Yes!
I love the message here and completely agree. I also love the pretty colors on that shelf! What is the set to the left of your daughter’s hand? The set with spines ranging from red to black?
Those are paperback Puffin classics. Best Christmas gift EVER). 🙂
I was just recently thinking about our luck with the other adults in the kids’ lives. Our six year old daughter has befriended our wonderful neighbors on all sides. One neighbor challenged her to learn about the Revolutionary War. I am not a history buff, so never would’ve thought to introduce her to such topics in kindergarten, but his suggestion got her so interested- we looked up the facts, she memorized dates and learned the gist of the conflict, ran back to him one day, and to her surprise he handed her a British coin used during the war. So cool. Since then she has noticed several other references to the American Revolution in our daily life and is loving it!
What a wonderful neighbor!
Congratulations to Sarah. What a difficult job she accomplished. Way to go SARAH!
Marilyn
I agree. Great article. My son is an animal enthusiast and plans to become a marine biologist. On a our last visit to my hometown my mom took the kids to our town’s local wilderness centre and program. That day they met the head volunteer who took time to speak to my son about his interests and he invited my son back that weekend to meet the Centre’s head biologist! We returned on that day and both the head biologist and head volunteer (a retired veterinarian) were amazing with the interest they showed, dialogue and time they gave to answer all of my son’s questions. My son was able to see and visit with someone who worked (and loved working) in a field similar to his passion. It was beyond what we could have given him as his knowledge has long surpassed mine and my husband’s. After that I saw the importance of seeking out more experts in that field to mentor and encourage him on his path.
Robyn’s latest post: Their Secret Place
I agree that it’s so wonderful to get another perspective. For example, my son learned woodcarving this year. He’s 8 years old, and I would have been nervous teaching him. But having someone else teach him has built his confidence, and expanded his skills. It’s so cool to watch!