The Truth About Preschool ~
Written by Carletta Sanders of Successful Homeschooling.
I absolutely love reading blogs written by well-organized, energetic moms who are creative enough to dream up fun activities for their preschoolers, and disciplined enough to follow through with their plans.
However, for all my reading… and dreaming… and planning… I’ve learned that I’m just not one of those moms. In the haze of multiple pregnancies, post-partum fogginess, regular household duties, and everyday life caring for four children ages 18 months to 10 years old, I’ve never consistently taught preschool at home.
The good news for those of you who are like me is – you can set your guilt and fear aside. My older children are excelling academically despite their mama’s shortcomings.
I’ve finally relaxed and embraced the truth about preschool – preschoolers can learn everything they need to know in the school of life.
Preschool in Our Home
If you peek into our home on an average day, you won’t find my preschooler doing circle time, reciting the days of the week and months of the year, charting the weather, exploring sensory bins, or playing with carefully crafted learning trays.
You’ll probably see him running around in a super hero cape or jumping from the couch to a beanbag to avoid the hot lava floor. You’ll see him helping mom with chores and making hot dogs in his toy kitchen. You’ll see him comforting his baby brother, pestering his sister and complaining that his big brother is cheating at Candy Land.
And, somehow, after a couple of years, he’ll just know all of the letters, numbers, shapes and colors. He’ll know how to write his name and count past 10. He’ll know that dark clouds mean rain is coming and tadpoles turn into frogs. He’ll know how to stand in line and take turns, and he’ll know it all without having been in preschool at home or otherwise.
Once again, I’ll be amazed that in the joyful mess of our lives together, my child managed to learn everything he needed to know.
How Children Learn
In a society that emphasizes early childhood education, it can be easy to forget that children are curious, inquisitive and wired to learn.
If you feel stressed, overwhelmed, guilty or afraid your preschooler will be behind, consider the following ways children learn naturally in everyday life:
Math
You don’t have to use worksheets to teach shapes, colors, comparisons, counting, addition and subtraction. Even the youngest preschoolers know how to figure out who got the most M&Ms or the biggest piece of cake. They scramble to be first in the line for ice cream. They only eat sandwiches that are cut into triangles. And they wear the same red shirt 5 days in a row. Math is, quite simply, everywhere.
Calendar
Words like yesterday, today and tomorrow are a natural part of everyday conversation.
“Mom, what are we doing today?”
“Honey, tell grandma what you did yesterday.”
“Time for bed, kiddo, we’ll read the rest of the story tomorrow.”
Weather
You don’t have to use elaborate charts and graphs to teach your children about the weather. Just open up the blinds and take a look outside.
Weather is another topic that’s easily addressed in daily conversation. “We better take the umbrella with us. It looks like rain.”
Community Helpers
Children see firefighters, policemen, postal workers, and medical professionals as a part of everyday life in a thriving community. They have moms, dads, brothers, sisters, grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, uncles and cousins. Why rely on worksheets and projects when you have access to the real thing?
Art
Do the crafts we plan for our preschoolers really encourage creativity? Or are our kids just cutting what we tell them to cut and gluing where we tell them to glue?
Don’t succumb to the pressure to micromanage every activity. Make paper, crayons, scissors, glue and other craft materials available, and see what your children can do on their own.
Reading
If you live in a literate household where books are available and children see others reading, your children will WANT to learn to read. Read to your children because reading is useful and pleasurable – not because you’re afraid they’ll be behind.
And remember, you don’t have to run to the library for stacks of books about every topic you discuss with your children. Out of all the books I’ve brought into my home, my preschoolers have always tended to gravitate toward a few favorites.
Learn from My Mistakes
I spent way too much time hovering over my oldest child, pushing him to do more, to know more, to be more.
And when my second child was a preschooler, I was too busy teaching my oldest and nursing a baby to do much of anything other than feel guilty about what we weren’t doing for preschool.
However, by the time my third child became a preschooler, I think I mostly figured out the winning formula – love, laugh, encourage, and get out of the way.
What does preschool look like in your home?
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Great reminder Carletta!
Love this! Your articles have helped me so many times. We have only been homeschooling for 1-1/2 years so we are still overcoming the more conventional learning style to embrace what works best for us and that is family discussions and group learning. We do still have individual curriculum for the older kids for now but the longer I do this the more I realize that most of our “kept knowledge” is from life situation and family discussions instead of textbooks. My 2 year old knows more than some preschoolers because of the extra interaction she gets from being around her siblings.
Keep up the good work!
Great post. As long as the environment is rich with supplies, conversation, etc., the child will naturally learn everything (and more!) they “need” to know.
Reading “A Nation of Wimps” by Marano. She makes a convincing and well-researched argument that what preschoolers most need is to play! Sounds like these kids are getting exactly what they need – plenty of play and relevant, experience-based learning, the latter of which is what progressive classrooms are striving for, anyway! And right in your own home! Look at that … 🙂
This made me feel so much better…I will probably do something a little more formal when he’s closer to four but overall I like the relaxed approach to learning. I think making sure learning is just a normal part of life is important. Children learn so much from playing and from older siblings. But what if you’re on your first child? Should there be more guidance then?
Are you KIDDING ME? This completely disregards all of the RESEARCH done to show the impact a quality preschool education has on a child’s life. You’ve got to be joking. Being “relaxed” is fine – saying “they’ll get it eventually” or “preschool isn’t important” is a joke. It’s like saying “ignore all the warnings that the surgeon general has stated about smoking”. No, not as urgent – however, to skip preschool with your children is just ridiculous. As a former kindergarden teacher, it was absolutely CLEAR who had preschool and who didn’t. Beyond that – by teaching your kids letters, sounds, etc early on, you are giving them the opportunity to teach them MORE later. When you miss this, or delay it, you are ROBBING your child of his potential to explore beyond this at an age where a love for learning is established.
Actually, a lot of research shows a “better late than early” approach is just as effective. Have you talked with any grade 9 teachers about whether or not they can tell who went to preschool? I’m a grade 3 teacher and I can’t tell who in my class has been to preschool. Provided a child comes from a home where reading, exploration, play, and learning are valued and encouraged I doubt there will be long term effects of skipping preschool.
And to say it’s the “truth about preschool”? REALLY? Why don’t you walk into any children’s library and ask what the truth about preschool is. They’ll hand you the real stuff.
Thank you for this great article. I wholeheartedly agree.
“Irritated” is not getting this article, perhaps because “Irritated” does not homeschool? Because anyone who homeschools has learned that when you have older children that you are working with daily, the little ones cannot help but get schooled as well.
The older ones, though, play a huge part in pre-schooling the little ones, and it happens so naturally, doesn’t it? It makes me happy just to think about it — the way my 6-yr-old slowly reads to the littlest ones and shows them letters, the way she shows them how she’s learning cursive and how to properly take care of the baby dollies or our dog, she’ll even manage the chaos of finger-painting and water coloring at the table while I work in the kitchen nearby, etc… In fact, now that I think about it, the older kids in the home are much more patient with the little ones than even I am. Like I said, it just happens very naturally through the course of life each moment of every day.
So it’s not about pre-schooling or not pre-schooling; it’s the way that the pre-schoolers get their education, what form they receive it, and with homeschooling, it’s a family affair! Yay!
Irritated, Have you ever read any of the writings of Charlotte Mason? Children are naturally inquisitive…you don’t have to have everything planned out for them. They are curious little beings! My kids create boats, towns, capes, etc, etc…just with supplies at their disposal…they love to learn and are thriving (by the way, I’m a former teacher too and have a strong background in classical education).
Yes, preschool and kindergarten teachers can tell which children have been to preschool and which ones have not. The ones in preschool know how to stand in line and obey in an institutionalized manner.
I don’t know many adults who don’t know their letters or colors either…not sure that argument has any weight. Again, I’d suggest reading some of Charlotte Mason’s readings before you get so irritated…and believe me, I’m not an “unschooler” by any means. But character and habit training, letting children play, and opening a world of wonder to them are much more important than learning silly Twaddle facts that they will learn anyway. Charlottte likens character training to railway tracks which help them “run” through life once they are formed (and being with mom who oversees their training) is *much, much, much* more important. And I think Charlotte Mason knows a lot more than the local librarian 🙂
I love Charlotte Mason! And her education philosophy is more than just about homeschooling or public schooling. If you homeschool, her methods can work, and if you send your children to school, they can help. It’s wonderful!
Sorry, but you’re so misleading with this title. How is this “the truth about preschool?” This is YOUR truth about preschool and, sorry, but just because you choose to bring your children up the way you do, doesn’t make you the authority or make you right. And it doesn’t mean that someone else is wasting time and money with their children in preschool. There is no one RIGHT way to help your children learn. Mothers have to deal with so much “advice” and comparisons – can we just stop please??
I don’t see that tone in this article at all, Kelley. I think Carletta is trying to relieve the burdens of guilt moms often carry, not add to them.
And of course this is her truth–she’s sharing her own experience. As readers, we can take it or leave it as we choose.
Jamie is absolutely right about my intent. 🙂
I actually believe it’s fine to teach preschool at home as long as BOTH parent and child are enjoying it.
I think as mothers, we’re all interested in the choices we have on how to educate our children. Some of us are interested in homeschooling, some of us aren’t, some of us can and some of us find it too challenging. There’s no right way. My point is that when I read a title that says “The Truth About…”, I expect some substance – give me facts and figures and studies. Don’t give me negativity toward those who put their children in preschool, and a ‘my way is better’ approach. This is an opinion – I know we can take it or leave it as readers. I just find it arrogant to throw out an opinion as absolute truth.
Love reading all (okay, most!) of these comments. Thanks for sharing your truth here with us, Carletta! Clearly it resonates with many readers, myself included.
I love this article and don’t understand the negative comments. Piaget, Vygotsky, and Frobel have all proved, through research and experiments, that young children learn best through play and interactions. Sitting children at little desks and having them memorize letter sounds, trace letters, etc… does not indicate their future success. In addition, these scientists have also proven that children need to hit certain developmental milestones before they are truely ready for formal education and for the average child they don’t hit that stage until the age of 7. A lot of the discoveries made by these men are forgotten about in the current public education system and therefore the pressure is on to learn more and more at younger and younger ages. Ask any upper elementary teacher however and you’ll hear the same thing – more and more children are coming into third and fourth grade burned out, hating school, and falling “behind.” As for as “formal” verses “unschool” I don’t think it really matters. We all are providing opportunities to hit the “teachable” moments for our kids and giving them lots of time to just be kids. The article doesn’t bash or admonish anyone who is able to do a more “formal” preschool at home or otherwise, but rather comforts those who worry about not doing enough. It is saying that yes, simply reading to your kids and making mud pies is enough for them to have future success. It isn’t saying that you are hurting your kids in anyway by doing more.
I was just having a conversation about this today! I am frequently asked where my 3.5 year old will go to school next year, and I get some surprised looks when I say “at home”. I homeschool her older sister (entering first grade) and I just don’t feel formal preschool is necessary or worth the expense for us. I will keep some “school” activities on hand to do with her next year in case she decides she wants to join big sis and “do school” but mostly she will cook us snacks in her play kitchen and rescue princesses from the Play Mobile castle. I love the research on Finland’s education system (which is often looked at as being tops among developed countries) and the fact that schooling isn’t required there until age 7. There is much we here in the U.S. could learn from that kind of thinking!
This was awesome, and exactly what I needed to hear today. I can easily obsess over things like this. I’ll have more fun with my girls if I just relax and live life with them!
Hi Irritated,
There is research that supports delaying formal education, such as preschool. If you are interested in learning more, you could start by reading the works of Dr. Raymond Moore, John Holt, Charlotte Mason, and Harvey Bluedorn of Trivium Pursuit.
EXCELLENT!!!
I totally agree! As a mom of four kids ages 4-13 (with another on the way), I can absolutely agree that children will learn very well without formal education, especially at the preschool age. It’s just completely unnecessary. It’s fine for kids and parents who both enjoy it, but a rich home environment provides all that children need to flourish.
I think the grumpy “irritated” commenter is making a big error in logic. She’s associating non-homeschooling parents who did NOTHING with their kids with no preschool. There is a world of difference between being with a hands-on parent as you cook together, read together, explore nature, play, do chores, talk, etc. and just leaving kids in front of a TV all day. For most homeschoolers, “no preschool” still means an incredibly enriching environment.
I speak from experience — my kids had no formal preschool and they are fluent readers who consistently test above grade level despite a lack in that “all important” sit-down, school-based nonsense.
Preschool literally means “before school” so I find it especially ironic that so many people these days think it should be “school for tiny children.” Modern research backs up the importance of play-based learning at this age, and we mothers have known it for a while just by using common sense. 🙂
SOoooooo … not grumpy … just irritated. And I’m entitled to my opinion. And I don’t believe that “nonsense” would be the correct word. That is all. Have a nice evening.
So so true!!!
Amen! I agree that my kiddos are learning so much more than what’s on a worksheet. I’ve been trying to “plan” out preschool for the fall, but what I want to give my kiddos is a love for learning, reading and relationships! Maybe this is why I can’t wrap my head around a “curriculum” for fall.
Amen sister! Amen!
Now I just need to remember this daily… maybe a printout is in order for mama? 😉
hehe. the negative comments kind of make me giggle. it kind of shows in their tone why a relaxed approach to learning doesn’t ring true. 🙂
what great advice. just play with your kids! we definitely need to be reminded of this in our busy world. it’s so easy to always feel like you need to be looking over your shoulder and fit in with what everyone else is doing. it’s a great reminder to just breathe and enjoy these short years!
One aspect I truly appreciate about Simple Homeschool is the variety of viewpoints offered through guest and editor posts. Every family is different, and I feel that positives from just about every post can be gleaned and applied to my family’s education and home life. Keep up the diverse posts–not all of us are *only* unschoolers, Waldorf or Montessori-followers, or even pure homeschool families.
Thanks!
Katie B.
I agree! I agree! I agree! 🙂 🙂 I even posted on my blog about how I “don’t do” preschool. 🙂 I went overboard with my oldest and by the time I officially started homeschooling (when she was kindergarten-age), I realized how ridiculous I was being. Preschoolers learn so much just by being preschoolers. She learned her colors, numbers, letters, shapes just from conversations and play time. As we added more children to the mix, I also realized how much the preschoolers learn from the school-aged kids. My almost-5 year-old has picked up on math and reading just from listening to her older brother and sister — not much effort from mom. 🙂 🙂 I don’t feel any pressure to add formal preschool to my day and it’s wonderful!! 🙂 🙂
Although I do agree that preschool age children do not need formal education at home or at school, I disagree with the assumptions you make about preschool. I am a preschool teacher and we teach in the same manner you advocate. We don’t teach the weather with charts and graphs- we open the window and say, “what do you think the weather is going to be today?” We don’t use worksheets or reproducibles of any kind. They are banned from our preschool because we believe in more natural learning through experience. I teach for a federally funded preschool not a more “natural” program such as Montessori. I think the heart of your article, that parents shouldn’t stress about teaching their preschooler, is wonderful, but I think you should be careful in assuming that you know what goes on in a formal preschool.
Carol
Hi Carol,
I make no assumptions about what goes on in preschool classrooms – I have actually observed the use of weather charts, worksheets, etc. with preschoolers. Nevertheless, my post was not meant as an attack against preschool classrooms nor the methods used in those classrooms. I simply wanted to show the many ways preschool concepts are taught naturally in daily life. It sounds like you’re doing a wonderful job with your students!
Thank you.
My take on this, and everyone will take away something different from every article they read, regardless of the source, is to relax!! I was just telling my husband the other day that I felt guilty that I wasn’t doing more “official” learning with our 3 yr old. But you know what? We don’t *need* to do anything formal and official. He’s learning tons just by playing, living life, observing his siblings and the adults in his life. He’s always surprising me with something that he’s picked up. Is the fact that he can’t recognize the entire alphabet right now going to keep him from getting into the college of his choice? Absolutely not.
Of course I’m taking complete advantage of the fact that at his age he is a sponge for information and has a natural curiousity and love of learning!! I’m just not sitting down with him and flashcards, worksheets, power point presentations, etc. There are SO many other ways to learn, and kids soak up a whole lot more from a whole lot more sources than people realize sometimes. He’s not sitting in front of the cartoon network all day either.
We only recently started homeschooling our 9 year old. He went to daycare because we both worked, then preschool, then public school. Did his preschool make a difference in how “smart” he is or isn’t now? Nope. It prepared him for standing in line, sitting still at his desk, etc etc. Was it worthless? Nope again. He did learn. But it’s nothing he couldn’t have learned in another environment. We also don’t live in an area where you have to get your child into the “best” preschool in town, nor does that “best” preschool have a two-year-long waiting list, so maybe my view is skewed. His preschool was just okay. Not great. Not horrible. But very typical of most preschools available in my area.
I think the title of this post is completely appropriate. “The Truth…” it’s the author’s truth, and that is enough. It’s a blog post. Not a PhD dissertation. Everyone’s truth is different. And I, personally, appreciated the “relax, don’t overthink it, just have fun!” approach that the author is describing.
Thanks, Katy and everyone else who took time to comment. I really enjoyed the conversation here!