Never let your schooling interrupt your education.

Waste your time

//  by 

Waste Your Time

The following is a guest post by Sarah Mackenzie of Amongst Lovely Things.

I have something of an obsession with being productive and efficient. It’s a good trait when it comes to tackling my to-do list, but it’s a big problem when it comes to homeschooling my kids.

See, homeschooling is all about relationships, and relationships just aren’t efficient.

By definition, to be efficient is to achieve maximum productivity with minimum wasted effort or expense. But relationships don’t flourish or grow that way. Relationships need time, spent lavishly.

This can be a real struggle for those of us who homeschool. We have so much to get to: the laundry, meal planning and preparation, housework, errands, running children hither and yon, making time and space for other daily efforts like exercise, our spouses, and our personal development.

We want to be good stewards of our time, but maybe that time is best spent carelessly when it comes to people.

wasteyourtime4

My own bad habit is that I default toward efficiency. I want to squeeze everything possible out of every minute of my day — it’s probably a personality thing. If I know the soup won’t be ready for 10 minutes, I try to squeeze in a reading lesson with one child while telling another to set the table. Oh, and perhaps I could nurse the twins while I’m at it. That would be 10 minutes well spent! Dinner ready, table set, reading lesson done, babies fed!

But there is no prize for the mama who checks the most boxes on her to-do list. Darn it anyway. (I would win!)

wasteyourtime2

We’ve all heard of folks at the end of their lives, looking back and wishing they had spent more time with the people they loved. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard someone wish they had spent more time getting things done.

Let’s shrink that down to a smaller scale. How about at the end of the day? When you sneak into your child’s bedroom to drop one more kiss on her cheek as she sleeps, will you wish you had gotten to a few more loads of laundry? Decluttered one more closet? Run just a few more errands?

wasteyourtime3

Or will you wish you had stopped to stare into her eyes? To pull her onto your lap and talk about something she’s thinking about. Will you wish you had wasted a perfectly good five minutes listening to her ramble on about what she found under a rock while she was playing outside?

These things take time. These things cannot be done efficiently.

What if, instead of trying to make the most of our time, we worked harder at wasting it? What if we were more intentional about frivolously using it on something we can’t check off our list?

A note from Jamie:

Screen Shot 2014-06-13 at 3.05.18 PM

Need more encouragement to “waste” time intentionally? Check out Sarah’s new book, Teaching from a State of Rest: A Homeschooler’s Guide to Unshakable Peace. (You can find it on Kindle or on Sarah’s blog.)

As I said in my official review of it: “Sarah beautifully reminds us that we will never be able to give our children the ‘perfect’ education. Instead of crumbling under the weight of our attempts to do so, we can let the burdens fall off our tired backs.”

What do you think? Is your time best spent when it is wasted?

About Sarah Mackenzie

Sarah is a smitten wife, mama of six (including twins!) and the author of Teaching from Rest, The Read-Aloud Family, and several stunning picture books.

She hosts the Read-Aloud Revival Podcast and spends her time running the vibrant, active membership community there.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Pam

    Oh I love the idea of shrinking it down to a smaller scale. The end of my life seems so far away, ya know? But the end of the day? That one stares me right in the face every twenty-four hours. And what I love is that you make it as simple as looking them in the eye and listening to their stories. Not planning elaborate crafts. Not taking them to get ice cream (though that can be fun too), but simply sharing a moment and letting them know they are loved. Thanks!
    Pam’s latest post: Summer Reading Week 5 Recap

  6. AC

    Very good but don’t harangue yourself so much for being efficient. It’s actually a wonderful skill that will serve your children well. Everything in moderation of course.

  8. Bethany V.

    I often struggle with this because when there is too much left undone (laundry everywhere, dishes over flowing the sink, toys littering the floor), I can’t really BE with my kids. Even if my body is there, my brain is somewhere else. I just keep thinking that if I could just get a handle on the chores i’d be able to relax enough to enjoy them. But at the same time I know that they won’t be little forever. Mine are 2 and 5 and I’m just now having to accept how much they’ve grown up. Don’t know how to just set it all aside and focus on them.
    Bethany V.’s latest post: Lost: Five Minute Friday

  9. TwoCowgirls

    This is something I struggle with! It’s not that I’m so busy being productive around the house, it’s more that I waste time on Facebook and Pinterest. I truly need to stop, and spend more time small talking with my girls.
    Thanks for the reminder!!
    TwoCowgirls’s latest post: How To Start A DIY.org Club

  10. Julia

    I love this idea. Life truly is a balancing act. I recently watched a Ted Talk on living for your resume or living for your eulogy. Thanks for your post!