Waste Your Time
Waste Your Time ~
Written by Sarah Mackenzie of Read-Aloud Revival
I have something of an obsession with being productive and efficient. It’s a good trait when it comes to tackling my to-do list, but it’s a big problem when it comes to homeschooling my kids.
See, homeschooling is all about relationships, and relationships just aren’t efficient.
By definition, to be efficient is to achieve maximum productivity with minimum wasted effort or expense. But relationships don’t flourish or grow that way.
Relationships need time, spent lavishly. This can be a real struggle for those of us who homeschool.
We have so much to get to: the laundry, meal planning and preparation, housework, errands, running children hither and yon, making time and space for other daily efforts like exercise, our spouses, and our personal development.
We want to be good stewards of our time, but maybe that time is best spent carelessly when it comes to people.
My own bad habit is that I default toward efficiency. I want to squeeze everything possible out of every minute of my day — it’s probably a personality thing.
If I know the soup won’t be ready for 10 minutes, I try to squeeze in a reading lesson with one child while telling another to set the table. Dinner ready, table set, reading lesson done!
But there is no prize for the mama who checks the most boxes on her to-do list. Darn it anyway. (I would win!)
We’ve all heard of folks at the end of their lives, looking back and wishing they had spent more time with the people they loved. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard someone wish they had spent more time getting things done.
Let’s shrink that down to a smaller scale. How about at the end of the day?
When you sneak into your child’s bedroom to drop one more kiss on her cheek as she sleeps, will you wish you had gotten to a few more loads of laundry?
Decluttered one more closet? Run a few more errands?
Or will you wish you had stopped to stare into her eyes? To pull her onto your lap and talk about something she’s thinking about.
Will you wish you had wasted a perfectly good five minutes listening to her ramble on about what she found under a rock while she was playing outside?
These things take time. These things cannot be done efficiently. These days, that feel as though they’ll last forever, will in fact be gone soon.
What if, instead of trying to make the most of our time, we worked harder at wasting it?
What if we were more intentional about frivolously using it on something we can’t check off our list?
* Click here for more of Sarah’s inspirational writing.
What do you think? Are you ready to waste your time?
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Oh I love the idea of shrinking it down to a smaller scale. The end of my life seems so far away, ya know? But the end of the day? That one stares me right in the face every twenty-four hours. And what I love is that you make it as simple as looking them in the eye and listening to their stories. Not planning elaborate crafts. Not taking them to get ice cream (though that can be fun too), but simply sharing a moment and letting them know they are loved. Thanks!
This is so refreshing! I’m slowly coming to realize the value of things that are easy to devalue. 🙂
Lana
Yep, me too! If I can’t check it off a list, it gets shuttled off my priority radar. But I’m getting better, I hope. 🙂
I really love this. I was so good about this when my kids were littles, but I find myself being less likely to really stare into their eyes, so to speak, as they are teens. Thanks for the reminder.
What a constant struggle for me. Thank you for this!
Endless battle. Sometimes I think I’m winning. Other times I know I’m not! I think I’ll have to keep reminding myself of the truths in these posts until my kids leave my homeschool (and it’s been nine years so far). But! With God all things are possible.
Very good but don’t harangue yourself so much for being efficient. It’s actually a wonderful skill that will serve your children well. Everything in moderation of course.
What a lovely post! In the end, it’s the relationship building and character of our children that matter more than a clean house or homemade bread. (Funny thing–this pinged on my Google notifications for my book, “Don’t Waste Your Time Homeschooling: 72 Things I Wish I’d Known.”)
Huh. Funny about the ping. Sounds like a book I need to get my hands on… 🙂
I often struggle with this because when there is too much left undone (laundry everywhere, dishes over flowing the sink, toys littering the floor), I can’t really BE with my kids. Even if my body is there, my brain is somewhere else. I just keep thinking that if I could just get a handle on the chores i’d be able to relax enough to enjoy them. But at the same time I know that they won’t be little forever. Mine are 2 and 5 and I’m just now having to accept how much they’ve grown up. Don’t know how to just set it all aside and focus on them.
This is something I struggle with! It’s not that I’m so busy being productive around the house, it’s more that I waste time on Facebook and Pinterest. I truly need to stop, and spend more time small talking with my girls.
Thanks for the reminder!!
I love this idea. Life truly is a balancing act. I recently watched a Ted Talk on living for your resume or living for your eulogy. Thanks for your post!
This is Mama Squirrel from Dewey’s Treehouse. May I include this post in this week’s Carnival of Homeschooling? I’ll check back tomorrow morning. Thanks!
The carnival is up now: http://deweystreehouse.blogspot.ca/2014/07/carnival-of-homeschooling-444-countdown.html .
Such a good reminder to really see what’s important. 🙂
I think we can all relate to this. Trying to squeeze every bit we can out of the time we have. A nice reminder to slow down and connect with your family. 🙂
Yes! Naps always feel that way to me. Today I napped. Not a waste of time at all. The kids are fine, the dishes will get done- eventually, and while it was not on my list of things to do, it was so very much needed.