Written by contributor Sarah Small of SmallWorld at Home
I have never, in a fit of the frustration that is unique to homeschooling moms, threatened to flag down the proverbial Big Yellow Bus.
But here is the flat-out honest truth: I have wondered every now and then if I should. My oldest son attended public school for kindergarten and first grades. As far as I know, he never desired for one second to go back. But there were times when he was in high school that I would think,
“Is this all going to work out right? What if we’ve messed up his whole life by homeschooling him?”
My daughter loved the Junie B. Jones and Ramona Quimby books. Most of the action in these series occurred at school. Such fun things happened there! Parties, plays, recess, glitter-laden Valentine’s cards. Walking home on tree-lined streets. Crossing the street with Henry Huggins. When she was nine, she saved up all her birthday money to buy a “Play School” kit, complete with name tags, report cards, and a chalkboard. Her dolls and younger brother would be her classroom, and I must say she was a natural teacher.
Sometimes I used to think, “This little girl would love to be in school.”
She’s in middle school now, and again, many of the books she reads and movies she watches take place in a school setting. She knows that kids in public school don’t randomly break out in song a la High School Musical. But every once in a while, she’ll say, “I think it would be fun to be around a bunch of people every day.”
And again, I wonder, “Are we on the right track?”
And then there is my youngest son, who is ten. I would be surprised if he has ever had a yearning to go to public school. For him that would mean giving up climbing trees in the middle of the morning, hopping on his bike at lunch break, and munching a snack while doing math.
But in public school, he would be the leader of the pack—the social pack, that is. He would be friends with everyone, and the teachers would roll their eyes and excuse his talking in class because he’s so darned likable. He’d be the prom king and the boy every girl wants to date. Every now and then, the thought crosses my mind:
“Is he missing some calling in life by not being in public school?”
I will admit to having these kinds of thoughts throughout these 11 years of educating my children at home.
Don’t we all wonder, every now and then, if they are missing out on something? It doesn’t take much for me to snap out of the “missing out” funk. We can watch the nightly news or peruse a few blogs to read stories about public education that make our toes curl. Hearing stories of abuse in my own area school system is certainly like throwing a bucket of cold water over my head.
But truly, it’s the positive results of homeschooling that convince me much more than the negative reports of what’s going on in public schools.
I have the benefit of seeing an outcome: my firstborn, my most experimented-upon guinea pig, is in college. Thriving in a college that is three hours away from home. I can tick off a list of all the things any parent wants:
- his grades are excellent
- he has self-initiative
- he has a good rapport with his professors
- he has friends
- he can navigate in a large city without getting lost much
- he seeks out cultural events
- he eats at least two meals each day
- he can do his own laundry.
Any parent would be satisfied with this outcome.
But the measure of success is so much more that what one sees on the outside.
Here’s the thing: He is embracing life.
He never learned that life is drudgery, that “school” is about waiting for the next Valentine’s Day party. He did not spend 12 years in monotonous routine dictated by the ticking of the clock and the buzzing of alarms.
He never learned that books make you sleepy and teachers are boring people, and that it’s always safest to fly beneath the radar. 
Photo by Princess K8 He has a deep love of learning. He never learned the art of regurgitation. He’s responsible, yet he has a heart of adventure. He’s willing to take risks, and he’s not worried about what people think. He’s unique and confident in his uniqueness. Because he grew up surrounded by unconditional love, he is emotionally secure.
Any fears that he would be labeled a weirdo because he was homeschooled are put to rest. No one cares; no one asks. And as much as he loves college, he enjoys being home with us, as well.
My husband and I have remarked to each other several times that, had we met our son in college, he would be one of our best friends. We would want to hang out with him. And what’s really awesome? He would want to hang out with us, too.
That bus can just keep passing us by. Whatever doubts I have now and then dissipate when I take but one minute to reflect on what really matters.
No regrets.
That is something I worry about immensely as we begin the process to start homeschooling. My daughter is very bright and I want to homeschool her. But somehow (whether it is well meaning family or the dreaded TV) she has the idea that the only place to learn is in school.
Awesome post!
Wow! That was a great post with great timing for me..we do all wonder and even get so tired we think..how much easier it might be if they were in school..but my gut always says “No, silly your doing the right thing for your child!” and then I experience in the next moment exactly why I do it..it’s a wonderful gift to give our kids. Sometimes I wonder who’s teaching who! Thank you for the affirmation:)
My oldest went to school before we homeschooled, so I never wonder what we’re missing 🙂 However, she did suffer from what I call “The High School Musical Fantasy” when we started in Jr. High. Now she’s in 9th, and she tells me she’s so glad we stuck with it and wouldn’t want to go back to school for anything. Sweet!
Beautifully done! Thank you for the encouragement 🙂 Our journey is just beginning, and as a former public school teacher, I have entertained similar thoughts from time to time. Yet, I see the priceless rewards of homeschooling as shining trophies without regret. I pay attention to the needs of my children in the ebb and flow of our day, and I am able to meet their needs where they are. It broke my heart so many times to NOT be able to meet the needs of my 200+ students whom I loved (taught high school). I can do that here, though, and I try to remind myself to not take it for granted when things are challenging. Thank you so much for posting some words from your heart, as well as sharing with us a beautiful success story of a confident young man. Great job!
Yep. My husband and I had a conversation about that after dinner tonight. Our older child went to public school for K-1st and it was a bad experience. We know he doesn’t fit in the system, but perhaps when he is in high school, he might need something extra? And our daughter will be entering kindergarten next year. She would probably fit fine in public school, but there are so many other reasons why I homeschool than just academic fit. Hubby isn’t as sold-out as I am, and worries about me and my sanity, but I wouldn’t have it any other way right now.
What a wonderful testimony and testimonial! The fruit borne in your family as a whole and the lives of the individuals is full of life and love. That more than enough reason to let the bus keep going. I love what Susan Card, wife of singer/songwriter Michael Card, says about why they homeschool: “We didn’t want to be strangers to their souls.”
What a beautiful quote! Thank you for sharing that.
Thank you so much for sharing this!!! I live in an area that doesn’t have a homeschool group so my support is limited. This blog almost brought me to tears because I have the same worries and the same fears! Thank you for sharing and letting us know that it’s ok to wonder but at the same time know that we are doing what is best for our children. And….I’ll try and stop dreaming of flagging down that bus! 🙂
I know the feeling. Our public school is accross the road from us. It has less than 100 students, most of whom we know in our tight knit community. I know and get on well with all of the teachers. My children do some extra curricular stuff with the school and love every minute of it. There are times amid the CRAZY that is our life when I wonder…. But then, I see the flexability that we have and the personal attention I can give each child simply because I have them all day. I see them have TIME to follow their passions. I see my oldest get up when the house is still quiet and complete all her independent schoolwork before the house stirs. And I know, this is right for us right now.
What a great post! Thank your for sharing.
I especially liked how you described how your oldest embraces life, loves learning, and loves his family. These are the things I want for my 11 month old daughter. Not sure if we will homeschool but posts like this help me feel confident that we could do it if we chose.
Thank you for this post. I try to look at the positives, but sometimes the other side just weighs down to hard and I fret I’m doing the wrong thing. Thank you for helping me remember the positives.
My big yellow bus just went by for the neighbor’s kids – I was happy to watch it pull away without my kids! 🙂
I think most of us feel as if we are doing the wrong thing at times! Hang in there and enjoy the journey!
What a wonderful post! I’m in the middle of a post-holiday slump, wondering if I have what it takes to see this journey through. Thank you for the reminder that there is a beautiful light at the end of this tunnel.
The post-holiday slump can be a huge obstacle in homeschooling! I often feel like I’m in a fog for the whole January-February season!
I needed to hear that today! This has been a struggle in my mind all year as this is our first year homeschooling and our daughter went to public school for kindergarten. Thanks for dumping cold water over my head today:)
Love this post. I have only sparingly ever brought up the big yellow bus (maybe 3 times ever and yesterday was one of them LOL!) because for the most part we all love learning together. I think your college student is doing fabulously- I would definitely call that success! Thanks for the great thoughts this morning.
Lurv!
Wonderful post, very timely as I have been dreading sending my oldest on the big yellow bus to kindergarten next year.
Yes, yes, yes, so much good truth in this post. Two things struck me, I have know this all along but I couldn’t put it into the right words. School taught me life was drudgery and it beat out my love of learning. It took me until my 30’s to realize that it didn’t have to be that way. Life really can be an exciting adventure and learning for the love of learning is amazing!
There are many reasons I want to homschool my children but these are two of the biggies. Thank you
Thank you so much for this post and for your words of encouragement. You have no idea how much I needed to hear these words at this season in our homeschool life.
Thank you.
Amy
I love this. Our son is in 9th grade this year and there are times I ask myself, is he missing out on something that could be life changing (in a good way) because he isn’t exposed to it in a high school setting. Then, I look at the whole picture. He is happy, thriving, and has never even asked about going to public or private school. Why would I want to mess that up? I’m happy to hear about your success with your oldest son. Great post today!
Thank you!
Deb
What an awesome post! My son is only 7 months old, but we are looking forward to being a homeschooling family. It seems like the first thing people think of is what they will “miss”. What a great reminder of what they may gain : )
You put into words what I’ve felt. But you’re further down the homeschooling trail than my family. It was so encouraging to read about your experiences. Thanks for sharing.
wow, this was really encouraging to read. I have to admit that I have threatened the big yellow bus in moments of frustration. My kids are 4 1/2 and 7 and neither of them have ever asked to go to school but, I do often wonder if they are missing out. Thank you so much for sharing this. I felt really understood as I read this. 🙂
brava – i love this. our always unschooled daughter is 8, and has spent the last 4 days watching mythbusters non-stop, except for trying her own experiments. i LOVE unschooling. thanks for this wonderful, reaffirming article!