Written by contributor Sarah Small of SmallWorld at Home
Admit it. Somewhere deep in your heart, you’ve wondered, especially if you’ve ever heard someone say, “I know a homeschooling family at my church. Those kids are weird!”
Haven’t we all asked ourselves: are my kids weird?
Weird. Normal. We all have our own definitions. You might say, “I don’t want my kids to be ‘normal’ by today’s standards!” And you might also say, “But I don’t want my kid to be labeled as a weirdo!” So here’s the thing:
All kids are weird.
That’s normal. I mean, when I was a kid—in the privacy of my own home—I stuck black olives on all my fingers and ate them off, one by one. That’s weird, right? Of course I didn’t eat black olives at public school, but if I had, I would not have eaten them off my fingers one by one. I would have known that was weird because some kid would have announced to the entire cafeteria: “THAT GIRL IS EATING OLIVES OFF HER FINGERS LIKE A WEIRDO!” Even those kids that had a secret desire to emulate me would have shriveled and mocked me. I would have been forever known as Olive Girl.
Here’s what’s different about homeschoolers. At my homeschooling co-op, if one kid were eating black olives off his fingers, I can guarantee that the rest of them would be doing it within seconds. Because weird is good. Weird is normal. (And who doesn’t have a secret desire to eat black olives off his fingers?)
I eat black olives like a “normal” person now, although my husband would argue that no “normal” person even eats olives. But you know what? Without any coaching from me, I swear, my youngest son does this.
Because 99.9% of kids (totally made-up statistic) are innately weird, creative, silly, funny, uninhibited, and terribly clever—if they are allowed to be.
I remember distinctly a day when my firstborn son was in kindergarten in public school. He wanted to wear his kilt and sheepskin vest to school. “Sweetie, you can’t wear a kilt to school,” I told him. I hated to tell him why, but I had to. “You can only wear your kilt at home. Kids don’t wear kilts to school.” I squashed his weirdness. I had to, for his sake.
Fast forward several years, when this same kid was 13 and had been homeschooled since we pulled him out of public school after first grade. One day we found, stuffed in the back of a closet, a llama-hair poncho that my husband once brought back from South America.
My son was ecstatic! For months he wore that poncho everywhere, including our homeschooling co-op. He also wore John Lennon-type sunglasses and t-shirts with ties. And yep, I’m sure the kids thought he was weird. But they didn’t care because they were weird, too.
My son is a junior in college now. I asked him recently what some of the best aspects about homeschooling were. One of the things he said was this:
“I had the chance to be a quirky, weird, and creative kid without intense ridicule. I was then able to develop that all into socially acceptable quirkiness as a college student.”
“Socially acceptable quirkiness” usually translates to “outside-the-box” thinking. What is one of the top qualities that employers in most fields look for in employees? Innovation and creativity—outside-the-box thinkers. Childhood weirdos.
Homeschooling allows kids to be weird when it’s OK to be weird.
As your kids get older, chances are they will learn to corral their quirks and develop into creative young adults who refuse to accept mediocrity and challenge the status quo.
I think we need more weirdos in our world.
So ‘fess up: Do you harbor a secret fear that people think your kids are weird?
About SarahS
About the olives… The day my fingers could no longer fit inside olives without them breaking in half was the day I realized I really dislike the taste of olives. I haven’t touched them since. Haha.
About weirdness… Boy, was I an odd child. And I’m still quite odd as an adult, though I’ve definitely started to master the knowledge of when it’s inappropriate to let my weirdness run unleashed. I’m excited by my kids’ weird tendencies, and even by their lack there-of in some cases. I try to encourage being themselves as much as possible, and I hope I’m a good example of that.
Love this post and so true!
The lack of personal inhibition gives creativity room to grow and frees the individual. I know if I had been homeschooled in at least the lower grades I would have been a more liberated person!
My five grandchildren are homeschooled by their super intelligent, organized, funloving, christian mother. They constantly amaze me with their creativity and self discipline. All children should have the oppurtunity to be so “wierd” One proud grandma
“Do you harbor a secret fear that people think your kids are weird?”
No, I don’t. But my wife does.
I love that my kids are weird. Helps keep the eyes off me
Eating olives from your fingers isn’t weird, it’s part of life!! It’s just got to be done!
My homeschool son IS weird. But no one among his friends notices because, as you said, they are weird too. And LOVING IT.
People are weird. At heart. They only “conform” because others conform. Natural tendencies, IMO, are weirdness. I am so glad that my son gets to be his own person without anyone telling him it’s not ok.
BTW… he just turned 10 and still has ZERO idea that Santa isn’t real. It simply has never crossed his mind and no one has told him otherwise.
I love that he gets to be himself, in so many ways.
My kids are most definitely weird. One of them would have been, even at public school. He is that set in his ways and has been since we pulled him out of public at age 10. My other two… they would have caved. I know it. The pressure to conform would have kicked in and they would be way too concerned in fitting in to allow their weirdness to shine in public.
tracey’s latest post: She’s ALIIIIVE!!!!
Thank you for posting this! I loved it.
I want my kids (4, 2 & 3 months) to grow up free to be who they are in Christ. I love the picture of the little girl picking her nose, that could be my 2 year old any day!
Jessica @ Zinck Family Missions’s latest post: Out With the Old
Its ok to be quirky and fun as long as your not hurting anyone. Im not sure how I feel about a 10 year old living with the fantasy of Santa but… not my kid so whatever. What bothers me is, if you dont have a problem or think there is a problem with your kid being weird then why is it a posting? Its not ok to be a weird-O. Its ok to be whatever you want to be as long as its not breaking the law. …” name-calling, cliquish behaviors, and threatening people you don’t like with physical harm anti-social behaviors? Somehow, those behaviors thrive at public school, …” they thrive all over doll, you gotta get used to how to deal with it not run away. Its called life.
the comments on this site prove homeschoolers can be bullies too! lol
<- not homeschooled and can recognize a bully at 50 ft…. calling themselves Christian or not
LMAO
I’m a grandma now and my three children were public schooled. I have two weird homeschooled grandchildren and they’re terrific! Mismatched socks and sometimes even shoes are not uncommon and it goes from there. I think this blog post is spot on. Sadly the majority of children have their creativity and individuality quashed early on. Having been a stay at home mom, I wish homeschooling had been as prevalent when my children were growing up. I think it would have been right up our alley.
Definitely have weirdos at my house. I love it. I think some of my relatives have more fears of the weirdness, but we just finished a long trip, and those relatives expressed delight in my little troop of weirdos. They’re really neat kids, and fun to be around, and easy to have conversations with. We had so many fantastic experiences, and continue to have them!
Liz C’s latest post: NotMolly at Real Intent…
Absolutely! This is exactly what I hope to teach, or unteach, with home education! I have known many special children and teens in life, my past self included, that possess amazing uniqueness and creativity. To see it dimmed simply for the acceptance of educators and classmates that were never taught acceptance or respect of differences is a disgrace that exists every day in many areas of \’big-box education\’. I simply wish for my young, brilliant, silly, awesome kids to grow into adults that understand that we are all worthy of our own choices and opinions without ridicule. If I can teach that lesson, I have successfully added to a humanity worth inheriting.
Oh my gosh, I love this. There are so many times my daughter, 5, is playing with public schooled kids and she does the weirdest things and they all look at her like she’s a “weirdo.” She’s crazy, silly, sweet, loving, caring and quite the drama queen all mixed together into a wonderful little person. Thank you for giving me some peace of mind to let her be her own person and not insist on stopping all of her weirdness.
If others want to call our kids weird because they’re home schooled, I think we may need to look back at a fairly recent history of our nation when education was not institutionalized. Prior to that, was our country run amok with strange beings and weirdos? Or were these the people who pioneered our country, developed our nation, and made us the great success that we are today? Granted this is my own impression of our country as a whole, but I don’t see that ingenuity come through today except for the rare few.
Now, if this is the case and our country was not filled with weird people in the past, what does this say about our educational system today? I would say that our home schooled children are not weird, but rather they are non conforming, individual beings.
I’ve been pondering this post for the past week, and I hope to use my response to this issue to all of the nay-sayers I meet in the future. Fortunately, because of all the parents who decided to home school before me, I have met mostly supportive people who think that home schooling is great!
It is ironic that how children are forced to act and behave as per the so called social norms which in turn curbs their creativity and when they grow up following a strict lifestyle, they are motivated to think out of the box.
Love this post. I am the mom who tells her children that they are weird. I want them to love and accept that quirky part of who they are. Being weird just means you are being exactly who God uniquely created you to be.
Lol. What a great post! One of my favorite things about homeschooling is that my kids and their HS friends are so “free to be me”.
Oh I love this! I home educated my children for 2½ years (they and I miss it dreadfully now that they’re back at school) and my 12 year old prides herself on being weird. Her best self-chosen ensemble when she was younger was a Snow White dressing up outfit, wellington boots, sunglasses and a furry penguin hat that velrco-ed under the chin. I wish I was as “weird” and bold as her!
I love this post! My husband and I pride ourselves on having “weird” kids LOL We feel the same way as the author – our kids are free thinkers who don’t feel they have to follow the crowd but rather can be proud of who they are and can celebrate what makes them unique.
I have three children, ages 15, 11, and 4. My eldest, a daughter, was homeschooled from grade 4-7. My middle child, a son, was homeschooled always until this year. My youngest, another daughter, will be homeschooled until we decide (if we decide at all) to send her to brick and mortar school. My eldest daughter has always been bright and hardworking, and very eclectic; but never really seemed to be particularly weird to others. I believe it is partially because of her personality and partially because she has always just been very perceptive and adaptable; she has always managed on her own to determine how she should behave in various situations. My son has embraced his ‘weirdness’ the most of all of my children, though. He is probably the most outgoing and hilarious of the bunch, and when someone calls him ‘weird’ (at Scouts or baseball or now at brick and mortar school), he smiles, thanks the other person, and proudly says, “Yeah. ‘Weird’ is a side effect of being awesome!!” Hopefully, my youngest daughter will grow her personality similarly to both of her big siblings’ personalities, and just be proud to be herself!!