3 questions to carry you through chaotic seasons

Written by Kari Patterson of Sacred Mundane.

I always think “normal life” is just around the corner. I tell myself, “As soon as we get through the holiday months, or this sickness, or the busy season, or …”

But it seems there’s always something.  I keep waiting for normal, in vain.

We’re coming out of one particularly crazy time. In about 6 weeks’ time I had four speaking events, we bought a house, I got sick for three weeks, then we packed up to move, then I finished writing a book, then our house was delayed so we moved in with my parents for a week, then we went on an already-scheduled family vacation to a remote hot-spot where we all got sick again and I spent the first few days taking care of a particularly ill little one.

In fact, I’m typing these words while perched precariously on a balcony, the only place I can get our internet hot-spot to function. I’m occasionally interrupted and respond in broken-Spanish phrases to those around me. Let’s just say this isn’t my typical writing routine!

Through this chaotic season, I’ve found myself returning to three simple questions. They’ve proven a steadying anchor for us through boxes and moves and sickness and travel. When our food, company, location, feelings, and surroundings have been in constant flux, these questions have helped me return to what really matters.

What I love is, these goals are attainable no matter how hectic a day or season may be. 

So if you also find yourself in a chaotic season where normalcy is a distant-dream, perhaps these simple questions can anchor your homeschooling efforts and encourage your soul as well. They are:

1. How can I cultivate relationship?
2. How can I inspire wonder?
3. How can I develop character?

Let’s look at each one briefly.

1:: How can I cultivate relationship? 

Times of sickness, grief, or distress are prime opportunities for relationship-building with our kids. While you or your child may not have the energy or emotional bandwidth to handle the rigors of schoolwork, this is the perfect time to snuggle, sit quietly together and share thoughts, or curl up with a book.

Chaotic seasons provide ample opportunities to hear the inner struggles of our children’s hearts. If we can resist the urge to fix things and simply listen instead, we’ll tie precious heart-strings with them and find our relationship significantly strengthened.

During our sick days, my son and I “missed out” on outside activities, but had hours of quality time together. I know those moments are never wasted.

2:: How can I inspire wonder?

Charlotte Mason maintained that children need ideas to ponder, consider, and meditate on. Even in seasons where “schoolwork” is neglected, with a little intentionality it’s easy to inspire wonder and keep our kids curious about the world.

Taking time outside together, pointing out interesting things in nature, bringing up a topic of discussion, and, of course, keeping fascinating books at hand, all keep kids’ natural thirst for knowledge growing, even if formal lessons are abandoned temporarily.

Through this busy season, good books have remained our best friends. The Hobbit on Kindle kept him content through hours when he didn’t have energy for anything else. No matter what other items are packed, stowed away, or unavailable, a few good books at arm’s length make wonder, curiosity, and learning possible at all times.

Once my son’s strength returned, we took to the tide-pools and explored the wonder of this tropical world.

3:: How can I develop character?

One thing not to abandon are habits. Whatever habits you have worked hard to sow into your children, guard with your life.

Multiplication tables can be mastered later on, but character (developed through habit) will be the bedrock foundation for all other knowledge and skill.

With a little intentionality, chaotic or difficult seasons provide perfect opportunities for character development.

Travel times, grief, shared spaces, chaos, or the lack of usual comforts give us an opportunity to help our children rise to the challenge and overcome. As long as we are empathetic and compassionate, not short-tempered or impatient, we will find fabulous opportunities to help our children grow in character and maturity, especially during difficult times.

Now, I won’t lie: I am craving a bit more normalcy in our life right now. I don’t love writing perched out here on a balcony. But I’m grateful for the simplicity of these questions that have helped me stay anchored through our recent whirlwind.

And I’d love to hear from you:

What helps you navigate times of chaos or transition? Please share with us! Thanks for reading.