Written by Jamie Martin, editor of Simple Homeschool and Steady Mom
I remember soon after my daughter, Trishna, joined our family from India. I took her to the eye doctor, and he asked where she would be attending school.
“We’re going to homeschool,” I answered a bit nervously.
“Well, you’re not going to homeschool her forever, so where do you think she’ll go later on?” he replied.
Inside I thought, “Why wouldn’t we homeschool “forever?”
It’s been almost five years since that day, and I’ve learned and changed and grown throughout our homeschooling experience. I’ve also read a variety of opinions, in both blogs and books, about how to decide how long to homeschool.
Some suggest you take it year-by-year, analyzing what is right for each child and for the family as a whole. They express that this is less overwhelming, and that there’s no point making an all-or-nothing decision when you don’t really know what the future holds.
But others suggest that if you make a long-term commitment to homeschooling, it actually lessens the stress of having to go through the decision-making process each and every year. It allows you to weather the storms of life without constantly questioning your schooling choice.
I initially found the year-by-year idea freeing and helpful, especially when I had just started homeschooling. Five years later, however, I lean more toward seeing our choice to homeschool as a lifestyle that we’ve committed to. Knowing this is what I believe I’m meant to be doing helps me get through both the good and the difficult seasons of our life. (You should know, though, that I reserve to change my mind at any time!)
What about you? Do you decide about homeschooling each year as you go along? Or have you decided you will stick with it for the long-haul? How did you go about making your decision, and what led you to the choice you’ve made?
I guess I take both approaches if that is possible. My overall thinking is that I am in this for the long haul – that this is the lifestyle my family is adopting and pursuing. But I also know that it doesn’t have to be forever – if sending my children to school would someday be better for them, then I am open to doing that.
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I agree. I love the lifestyle, and do feel that this is what I’m called to do “while they are young.” I’m not sure how long that will last, but I know we’re still there. But like you, I’m open to sending them to school at some point if it seems better for them, but I think that’s at least several (maybe more) years off.
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When we originally started homeschooling it was initally just for six months, then another six months, then for “as long as it works”. Somewhere along the way I knew we’d end up homeschooling all the way through high school. Now that question really gives me pause because I know I’ve only got another four to six years left – depending on whether or not my youngest starts university early. I can’t believe my homeschooling years will be finished so soon!
We live in Mississippi, and my initial thought relating to homeschooling was that I did NOT (for a number of reasons) want to put my daughter into Mississippi public schools. But we’re not here long term – just a couple of years – so I’ve said I will check out the public schools wherever we go next and decide again. Now I’ve kind of turned that on its head – I plan to continue homeschooling long term and will just ignore the public schools, unless I have a reason to consider them.
I’m still not comfortable with homeschooling – it’s taking us a LONG time to find our groove and we haven’t hit it yet after more than a year. (Any thoughts on dealing with the most obstinate 6-year-old in the universe, who tells you one minute that she wants to “do school” and the next won’t do ANYTHING? Even a GAME?) But even with that, I know this is the right choice for our family and I need to stick with it.
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I know what you mean about your 6 year old. I have an almost 7 year old, and she’s the same way. Some days she’s excited about school work and some days she hates it. This is actually going to be our first year homeschooling. My 6 year is going into 2nd grade and I also have a to be 4th grader and a 2 1/2 year old son. Any advice on how you get your daughter to do work on the days she doesn’t?
I have a four year old whom I have been schooling for over a year and, obviously hes young, but we have our great days and our days when hes just like your (both of you) children and wants to do nothing. Ive found that taking a somewhat unschooling approach to our homeschooling has allowed me a great deal of stress relief. I remind myself that hes young and that play is the focus of his life right now. At six and seven, our public schooled minds (or at least mine) tells us that they should be focused on school-Im struggling to obliterate this thought from my mind as I have refused to send him to pre-K this year-and we need to remember that they are STILL young and that pushing them to do things they have no interest in, whether altogether or momentarily, isnt going to teach them anything. My best example is this: we did a stranger/danger lesson and my son spotted the cross bones symbol on a ‘poison’ bottle. From there we looked up on the internet a bunch of signs and we discussed what they meant. This was an impromptu lesson and took less than an hour, wasnt even put in a ‘lesson’ form, no dittos or anything, and now everywhere we go, even just driving in the car, he points at all the signs and wants to know what they mean. Things your kids love and are interested in are going to stick. Things they are pushed toward likely won’t, so make a choice each day when the battle ensues-how important is it that this lesson be done today? Can it be revised later or tomorrow to catch their interest more thorougly? Even ask their opinions on what THEY would like to do today, even if it means tossing todays lesson plan and doing something crazy. You might find that those are the most worthwhile lessons. Good luck!
Our plan is to homeschool through high school. We spent some time really praying about that decision before we built our home on our own little slice of heaven (because of the school district it’s in and the lack of choices), and we’re comfortable saying we plan to go all the way.
That said, I look at it kind of like natural childbirth. It’s much easier if you make the decision to do it (rather than just to “try”), but when my third daughter needed to be delivered via emergency c-section, we went with the flow and rejoiced over her birth even though it didn’t go according to our plan.
So I guess you could say we’re planning to go all the way through high school, but we’re holding that plan loosely should something change!
My siblings and I were homeschooled through 8th grade and then went to public high school. We’re planning on homeschooling our daughter (who’s not quite 3) for the long haul while reserving the right to change our minds if that’s what is best for our family.
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We started homeschooling with a 3rd grader who had been through private and public school (both bad experiences). From the beginning of our journey we planned to homeschool all the way. We start our 14th year of homeschooling on Monday and I find it very freeing to know this is our lifestyle.
Blessings, Dawn
My first thought was “until I’m dead” because I am imagining and hoping that someday I’ll be helping my kids homeschool their kids 🙂 Really, since we started we’ve always said we’ll take it one year at a time, knowing that our family could face situations where homeschooling isn’t the best option for one or more of our children- or their parents. However, I hope that day never comes. Homeschooling my six children is the hardest thing I’ve ever loved doing. My oldest, who is ten, says he wants to do college from home- we’ve said no to that, but we’ll see when the time gets closer!
When we started homeschooling, I intended to keep the kids at home through high school. Because of some bumps along the way, I enrolled the kids in an online charter school last year (2 high schoolers, a 5th and 1st grader.) This promised to relieve some of the stress I was feeling, but turned out to be a bad decision for us. It increased the stress because the quality of the education immediately went down, and I was trying to supplement an education I didn’t believe in rather than take responsibility for teaching. It lasted 2 weeks for the little ones, although the older ones finished the year. Although my oldest has decided to continue with the charter school, my other high schooler will be back in home school this year.
This decision was aided by my oldest’s excellent score on ACT and AP testing even though he had never taken any standardized tests before, and the discovery that his college of choice will give him a scholarship based on his ACT scores and a (notarized) transcript from our home school.
I love teaching high school my way, and having a moment of fear has really reinforced our decision to stick it out long term.
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We had always intended to homeschool through highschool. Now my oldest son is highschool age and our intentions are the same however now I can see him or his siblings taking a class or two at the local highschool.
But we know that things change and we will always do what is best.
We plan to homeschool through highschool.
In the beginning, which was 10 years ago, I wasn’t sure about that; but after a few seasons of learning together at home, time spent with public school students who tell me how much they would love to be homeschooled, and mostly because I really just ‘know’ this is God’s plan for our family, now I don’t hesitate when people ask ‘how long I will homeschool’.
Blessings,
Catherine
We are at the very beginning stages of homeschooling right now, but I fully believe we will homeschool right through high school. I do think, however, that I will probably change my methods each year as I learn about how my kids learn, what their interests are etc. I don’t expect to send my kids to a public school, but I could picture them being involved in some classes as they get older too. But, I have made the commitment to homeschool, and I expect to follow it through. Of course, I could always change my mind 🙂
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This is a very interesting point. I’ve always subscribed to the ‘year at a time’ idea, but what you’re saying makes sense. What if I approached my marriage that way? Or a job? Nope…going to have to re-evaluate here 🙂
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I would love to homeschool through high school, but I am also open to change if the needs of our family changes. There are so many advantages to homeschooling I can’t imagine why I would want to change, but I know that all kids are different. Seasons of life are different, so I need to stay open to whatever God brings our way.
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Not sure I have anything to add that hasn’t been already said – we’re in the “riding the fence” camp, I guess, which is to say we believe in this lifestyle, and we think we’re in it for the long haul, but we’re open to being led to another plan if it’s the right fit!
I will say that I hope that’s how I approach ALL my major decisions now – willing to stay if it’s right, but willing to walk away if it’s not. I stayed in a job that didn’t bless my family for far, far too long because of some misguided ideas about being a “quitter” or “not committed.” I hope if homeschooling for some reason WASN’T blessing my family that I could let it go and not keep doing it just for my own reasons, but I am actually scared now that it’s comfortable for ME, and I might keep it up even if it wasn’t for my daughter! 🙂
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Initially, I think I was embarrassed. I would tell people that we were just doing this until we figured something better out. Our son was so fragile when we pulled him from public school and I was too raw from the fight to debate our choice–so I offered a lame apology of sorts. Now, many years later, we are firmly in the homeschooling camp. I don’t have to apologize any more–it is working! I have a bright, happy, thriving boy-I can’t give a better testimonial than that!
Unless the Lord changes our path radically, we are forever homeschoolers. Our choice isn’t typical, and it isn’t the right one for every family, but it is the right one for this family.
Fran’s latest post: How To Break a Fairy’s Heart
We just finished our first year of homeschooling and it feels so right (though not always *easy*). If I think too far ahead I get freaked out, so I am on a year-to-year basis, as in, “wow, what a great year last year, let’s go for another!”
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My oldest is 15 and we started homeschooling when he was in the first grade. Now we have 5 children. I think at first I really did not know what we would do. Probably took it year by year, even though once we started I never really considered anything else. Then we were firmly planted in homeschooling. But a few moves and changes in our surroundings have changed that for us. We are in a smaller town with less opportunities and a smaller support group. As my older kids hit their teen years, the support was almost none. So outside activities for them just weren’t happening. The church we attend has it’s own private school. My children’s friends pretty much all attend this school. So with much stress and prayer, we decided to enroll them this year. They will be in 10th and 8th grade. I really had wanted to homeschool them all the way through high school. I feel that for the most part their education would be better at home. But there are so many other factors that have to be considered. One of them being my teens wants and desires. We did not want them to hate homeschooling. Sometimes the big picture and relationships have to be pushed to the front of what I want. This particular private school is our only choice, they will not go to public school. And then it is still a year to year basis. If we feel that things aren’t going well with the school then they will come back home. My younger three will remain at home to school. So we are in both worlds at this point. Never really thought we would be here. But it is good and life goes on. I know my children will be taken care of and will learn. The rest is up to God.
We never intended to homeschool in the first place, so I am also in the camp of “I reserve the right to change my mind!” My family has seen first-hand how quickly ‘forever’ plans can change. So we generally plan year by year and take into account the children’s needs and desires. However, I will also say that I am openly hoping for indefinite homeschooling. And I know many families who were only able to take the step to home after committing for the long haul.
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Good question, and I love seeing the other responses. Makes me feel normal. 🙂 My answer when people ask me this question is always, “As long as it feels right.” I anticipate that we will home school the whole way through. It’s all we’ve ever done (my oldest is a 5th grader), and when they are older, there are lots of ways to meet growing social needs and needs for new mentors. I don’t feel that public school is the best place to meet those needs. We might have to get creative, and our idea of what “home school” entails will probably expand to include some mentor-oriented commonwealth schooling and a lot of retreats with like-minded families. 🙂
This is our first year, and going into it we made the choice to re-evaluate every year and see if homeschooling is still the thing we think is best. We pulled our kids out of public school to homeschool, and they’ve asked if they will ever go “back to school,” and the answers of “we’ll evaluate at the end of the year” seems helpful. That said, I’ve already been looking at what I want to use in the high school years and discussing it with my husband, as well as doing research on what it would mean for the kids to be homeschooled through high school. So, I guess we’re on the fence. 🙂
I homeschool my 4 and 6 year old boys. I’ve also used the year-by-year idea in the past, but recently felt a need to put some goal out there for me and for those who ask. So now I say that we would like to homeschool until our boys are 10yrs or so, (based on James Dobson’s thoughts in Bringing Up Boys). Team sports are very strong in our South African schools and so that might be a deciding factor if they love playing sports as they get older.
Our plan was always to homeschool at least until highschool and then evaluate our cirumstances: schools or homeschool opporunities available, who the young adult is inc. their own desires/goals, etc. So far my oldest chose to attend highschool this year and my middle daughter hopes to graduate through homeschooling. I feel great about both choices.
Homeschooling is not for everyone; however, it is truly the best option for some families. I was homeschooled and loved it. I was not homeschooled until 6th grade and that is a long story that I will not get into here. Anyway, we have 5 children and our older 3 children attended public school until last year. I am divorced from their dad and he was against it – after they struggled in the public school system, I decided to pull them out and see if he threw a fit. He stated he was not pleased, but that was as far as it went. We (my current husband and I) have been homeschooling them now for a year and planning on homeschooling them as long as we can. Obviously life throws new changes our way and things may change – but for now they love it. I love the freedom that it brings, I love that we can take off on a family vacation whenever we want without them missing a ton of schoolwork. Thanks for an excellent post!
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My response is always that I might have to consider letting my children attend some institution for certain post secondary pp
rograms, but that even many university degrees can be completed from home these days. So my children might never have to ‘go to school’.
We started homeschooling 1 semester at a time, and for two years sent the kids to school at semester. Last year we homeschooled but put a couple kids in a charter school as they got spots. This year we’re homeschooling all of them with the thought we’ll do it at least four years – this gives us the option of ignoring the state scope & sequence to use a 4-year curriculum that covers things in a different order without holes in their knowledge. We’ll decide beyond that as we get there – there are simply too many unknowns in the future to plan with certainty, but we’re open to whatever type of schooling the Lord directs us to.
Thank you for saying that so well! I plan to home-school my daughter (12) all the way through high school. We took it year by year until this point, and as scary as this sounds to me, as we have only completed one year so far, I know in my heart it is what we should do. My next is only 2, and I am not certain what we will do. Take it year by year with him at first too I am sure. 🙂
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My oldest is 41/2. We’re planning to homeschool. We want to reevaluate each year just to make sure, but at the same time we’re planning to HS for the duration. I was homeschooled, k-12 and my husband was homeschooled 5th-12th.
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We’re into year 3 here and plan on doing it for the long haul. If it stops working, we’ll look at other things. Until it does, we’re in it to win it – together!
We’re planning to homeschool for the long haul, but like many others, I reserve the right to change my mind! Whatever is right for each child/the family as a whole, is what we will do. That said, we are in the early stages of looking for land to build our dream farmstead on, and we are not even taking school districts into consideration when we look. So where ever we end up, the state of the likely very rural school district may influence things down the road, as well, if homeschooling starts to not be a good fit.
Originally, we homeschooled our oldest until he entered 9th grade. He then went to the local public school. While he transitioned well, and he was miles ahead of his counterparts academically (YEAH Switched on Schoolhouse!) even he admits, he would do things differently looking back. In his words, he came home feeling like he needed a spiritual shower from all of the filth he encountered on a daily basis. By his senior year, he was seriously reconsidering his decision to go to public school. He graduated, but he urged us not to follow that path with his younger siblings.
Therefore, we have a 10th grader, and a 9th grader this year, happily homeschooling.
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We’re very much year-at-a-time people, but I think that speaks to one of the main reasons we homeschool (when we do)—we value its flexibility. We travel a lot, we work from home and sometimes need a flexible year, and we help run a ministry alongside the business. So because we’re year-at-a-time people with most things in life, it really only makes sense that it’s how we approach homeschool, too.
I’ve found myself sometimes stuck in a corner when I’ve said “forever” to something. I don’t know what forever holds. I can’t promise what my kids’ needs will be, where we’ll live, what our circumstances are… For us, we trust God annually to guide us where we need to be, and will bend our wills to His if He presents something to us rather unexpected.
Tsh,
I’ve read your blog for about a year now. We lived in India for three years and worked for an organization that suggested we take some time away from our very stressful service in a difficult place, and have some R&R in Chiang Mai, Thailand. While there, we visited Cornerstone Counseling because I struggle with depression. I happened to be looking at your website last year and somehow saw a picture of you standing in front of the Chiang Mai Zoo and it just made my heart happy. I grabbed my husband and said, “Look! We were just there!” It was fun. Love your site. Just wanted you to know 🙂
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Our oldest is almost 6 so we are pretty new to homeschool, but we are committed for the duration. I feel that if it’s not broken, don’t fix it. So while it’s going well, we will keep at it but if it gets rocky (or at least rockier than everyday life is) we will evaluate and decide if it is still the right choice for us. So one year down, hopefully 18 (when the baby is done) to go.
My pastor has a saying “If you leave yourself options, you will eventually take them.” He didn’t say this regarding school options, obviously, but I have found in so many ways and areas this is very true. I liked the comment comparing it to natural birth. If you have not set your mind then when it gets intense you will run for the drugs! BUT, that being said, God is God and I am not. If HIS orders and prompting says to change, I will obey. But until that day I have to set my face like flint to run the race set before me.
Ours is a lifelong commitment – all the way through high school, no ifs, ands, or buts. We also have a plan – life insurance on me – in case something happens to me so that my husband could buy curriculum and hire someone to come in and supervise our girls’ studies while he’s at work. We have no intention – ever – of handing our kids over to the government schools.
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Interesting idea with the life insurance. We also have it for me, but for some reason I never considered my husband could use it for curriculum & a teacher!
After two failed attempts with our eldest (now 11) at our local public school, lasting a total of 6 weeks within 2 grades, homeschooling is our way of life. Our youngest is starting 1st grade this year, the eldest will be in 6th and there has been very little voiced by either of them about wishing to go to “normal” school. When it is discussed I find the reason seems to be more about extra-curricular happenings, so this year our 6th grader will participate in sports at the school.
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We are just starting homeschool this year with preschool, and not really sure where it’s going to go from there. I’m thinking until 2nd grade or so and then we’re thinking about cyber school. I think a year by year decision is best.
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We have said year by year all along. We initially began because we wanted to! We weren’t ready to be apart from my 5 yr old and even though there was a school available to us down the street, not even half a mile, we weren’t “required” to register her for kindergarten. So we thought – why would we? I loved it and we kept up with it. That was 7 years ago.
Four kids later… Last year we put our oldest two in public school for the first time. New home, new state, new community – it worked fine and we got to meet new people but, we’re heading back to homeschooling this year. We just felt they missed out on so much education last year, they were way too exhausted – gone at 6:50a.m. – not home until 4:15. I missed them!!
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I thought I would homeschool all my children all the way through. I homeschooled my oldest all the way through. She danced ballet 4 nights a week so it worked well for us. The second 2 girls ended up going into public school in 10th and 9th grades in order to be able to play volleyball. The first one that went into school ended up spending her last year of high school at a university, so she got a full year of college for free. My youngest is still at home and loves homeschooling. He has no desire to play sports at this time, so we’ll see what the future brings. Hugs those babies while you have them!
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We always planned to homeschool forever, but honestly other folks made me nervous: How would we cope with high school? What if our kids want to go to school; What about school leaving certificates… So I started to get nervous – just a little!!! And when we started high school – my poor kids went through the mill as I rigorized our very relaxed school efforts… now that we are half way through high school and my kids are following their own passions and paths we have resorted back to “They will find their way” (for all our sakes!) … and I can see that the lines between finishing school and starting real life are far less defined for homeschool kids who have a lifestyle of learning… the adventure of life starts way earlier, not waiting for their drivers license to get going, rather they are going already. They pursue college courses or part time jobs, which are just seen as a means to following their hearts rather than something to look good on their CV. So it appears that we are indeed going to be homeschooling the whole way, despite my nervous moments halfway through!!!
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Yep! That about sums it up for me. 🙂
We did the “year by year” thing and have recently committed to doing Classical Conversations all the way up (barring of course that God steers us another way). It’s so helpful to me cause I feel I can jump in with both feet without that nagging feeling of having to reevaluate all the time.
To me it’s obvious that, if it becomes apparent that they aren’t thriving, we can consider the whys and go from there. There are many variables in ones education that can be tweaked. In other areas of life being committed is a good thing. Why not with home education too? 🙂 We are committed all the way up and, as with all of life, flexible as needed.
After all, life is full of surprises because we have a plan. No plan = no surprises..and I like surprises! 🙂
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I would prefer to say we are homeschooling at least until high school. (I have 3 boys, ages 6, 4, 2.) My husband prefers to do it year by year. And my family thinks this is just one of my phases. To plan to do it long-term and not year by year makes me feel less pressure in them being compared to public school kids. Maybe They are learning x, y, z this year, but we will get there, too, if not this year then maybe next year. If that makes sense. AND it helps me with buying things for homeschooling, knowing I can use what I buy for all kids because we are doing it long-term. I would be sad if we stopped homeschooling, but maybe I’ll feel differently in a few years…
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We just returned to the States after living for three years in northern India. We homeschooled our three kids before we were missionaries, during our time in India, and are homeschooling now. I tend to be an “all or nothing” person and it’s less stressful for me to say that this is a lifestyle we’ve committed to, and we’re doing it–no matter what. But living overseas has reminded me that we never know what’s around the bend! It’s best to be flexible and hold our lifestyle with an open palm. That said, I love homeschooling and I plan to keep doing it. Our kids are 11, 9, and 8 and have been homeschooled from the beginning!
Hannah
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Hannah’s latest post: Happiness Is A Vacuum
We have every intention of homeschooling as a lifestyle in our family, but plan on making sure we are always doing what’s best for each of our children (we know they will each be individuals who may require different education decisions). I think we will end up reevaluating about every 3 years or so- mid elementary, before middle, and again before high school.
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Ive watched too many children slip through the cracks in the school system in our area. We dont have the money to do private school, I dont feel the schools are safe anymore, I dont believe in standardized testing, and, most importantly-I really LIKE my kids! So, barring something drastic occurring, I plan to homeschool for the next twenty-plus years (two kids with one more in the plans).
Funny this post should come now. My family just had this conversation. When Son1 started K, homeschooling was my idea. Husband said ‘we’ll try it for a year and see how it goes’. Two years later Son1 started 2nd and Son2 started K. Husband said ‘we’ll try both of them for a year and see how it goes’. ahem MY plan was to stay home through elementary, then go to public middle school. In our area several elementary schools feed into the middle, so it seemed a good idea to transition then (not the ONLY ‘new’ kid). We didn’t. Son1 starts High School this year. We gave him the option to go to school, public or private, totally his choice. He chose to stay home. Husband looked at me and said ‘looks like we’re going all the way through’. lol As long as it’s feasible and works for us, we’ll be at home. My baby starts 1st this year so I have a LOT of years ahead!