The following is a guest post by Rachel Turiel of 6512 and Growing.
I’ve been homeschooling two children for three years, which is to say, not much time at all. I’m holding space for a lot to come clear, shake down, shake out, and be revealed in the years to come.
And yet, with each passing semester, I find myself settling deeper, more comfortably, into the vast yet cozy chair of homeschooling, realizing that I’ve learned a few things along the way.
Here is what I’d tell my equally scared and nervous self, starting out on the homeschooling journey three years ago:
You will have doubts.
Being in charge of your children’s education can feel intimidating, like it’s all on you to keep the jumbo jet of their education aloft. You’ll look to your children’s peers to see if your child-students are measuring up. Sometimes they will. Often they won’t.
Some days you’ll be certain that your son will grow up to be a homeless lego savant, your daughter presiding over a MLM scheme involving stickers, glitter and tutus.
With practice, you’ll begin to recognize these fears, doubts and unhelpful comparative patterns before they take hold.
“Hello doubt and fear,” you might say to this familiar guest, “do you have a kind and helpful message for me?”
If not, turn your focus to the beautiful children in front of you. Let them lead you, because they are never not learning. Remind yourself that each day is new, that children learn on their own timetable, that it’s OK to call a free day and go play outside.
Your philosophies will change.
At first it seemed that keeping up some semblance of everyone’s “grade level” was important, but that faded into the intangible and irrelevant.
Next, you believed you had found The Homeschooling Rhythm: blocks of schooling interspersed with free time.
(Note to self: anytime you think you’ve “found the rhythm,” be suspicious).
Then, there was that freefall into unschooling called “summer,” which was glorious and fleeting, leaving an indelible impression.
Today, a mix: some workbooks, some child-led learning, a tremendous amount of reading aloud, much art, a homeschool co-op, unstructured nature immersion, and even planned lessons, including …(who’d have thought?) math tests delivered at the kitchen table.
This is now. Who knows what’s next?
You will need support.
Anytime you do something outside of the mainstream, you’re getting a chance to build your muscles of trust. Trust is not an island you inhabit alone. Call those other homeschooling moms when you feel stuck. They’ve felt it, too.
Read homeschooling books and blogs, especially the honest ones where doubt and frustration are not stashed in the closet, though inspiration and gratitude are always the bottom line.
You’ll find yourself laughing, nodding and knowing you are not alone.
Education for the masses (AKA: grade level) will fall away so you can truly see the individual.
First, let go of your guilt over drilling your son through reading when he was more inclined to engineer a forest’s worth of paper airplanes. Don’t gloat over your daughter who may be peeking into math a grade level ahead.
Each child is an individual with particular strengths and weaknesses. Build on their strengths! Let them marvel in what tickles their curiosity, what pulls them into its orbit. Everything else (that needs to) will come.
Perhaps the rest of 3rd grade America is memorizing state capitals and multiplication tables while your child creases another fold on a paper airplane. (And perhaps you one day notice that his airplane design is improving).
Flex your muscles of trust and check out some library books on the fascinating history of flight and see where it leads.
Reading out-loud counts more than you know.
Remember those homeschooling journals you’ve started and abandoned twenty times? Where you list the daily homeschool accomplishments, bringing a sense of quantifiability to your days … at least until the record-keeping begins to bore you, again.
What remains in the record keeping is simply this: an ongoing list of the chapter books you’ve read to the kids.
Why? Because reading encompasses history, vocabulary, sentence structure, elements of story, armchair travel, moral lessons, and plenty of snuggles together on the couch.
You’ll fall madly in love with homeschooling.
Some days you can hardly believe your good fortune to be snuggled up on the couch with your children, reading Charlotte’s Web at 10 a.m. on a Wednesday, knowing that beyond any quantifiable education, there’s this: closeness, connection and the gift of time to explore this wild, wonderful world together.
I look forward to what the next three years bring.
What have you learned that you’d share with your just starting out self?
My best dozen pieces of homeschooling advice
I’d remind myself that it’s normal/natural to want to be with my kids, that learning doesn’t always happen at home (so don’t worry about never going out of the house!), and that we don’t need to be afraid of having a total weirdo who can’t carry on a graceful conversation (unless that is something we pass along to him) because we will mostly reproduce our own character and habits into the kids. Rather than fear for the future, I would encourage myself to focus on today!
Thanks for this lovely post.
Lana Wilkens’s latest post: musings about language
Focus on today, indeed. This moment is all we truly have.
Rachel @ 6512 and growing’s latest post: our first time
I love this post, so much so that I shared it on a facebook homeschooling group page that I manage. I too am in my third year of homeschooling and I found myself nodding along. Every single time I think we’re in a groove and we’ve found our niche it completely changes or things that were working just don’t anymore. We try new things all the time and ever librarian recognizes us the minute we walk in the door (then they go to check the interlibrary loan cart). I remind myself a lot to focus on making childhood happy, fun and memorable. In making memories we’re learning, growing and building everlasting bonds. I’d tell myself that even though I couldn’t possibly imagine it that there would be a time my boys would look at one another as friends (not all the time, but every now and then!). I’d tell myself to relax, enjoy the boys and this journey we’re going through together.
Motherof3’s latest post: More of a traditional day
“I remind myself a lot to focus on making childhood happy, fun and memorable.” That is enduring wisdom in 14 words.
Rachel @ 6512 and growing’s latest post: our first time
“Some days you can hardly believe your good fortune to be snuggled up on the couch with your children, reading Charlotte’s Web at 10 a.m. on a Wednesday, knowing that beyond any quantifiable education, there’s this: closeness, connection and the gift of time to explore this wild, wonderful world together.” This brought tears to me eyes! As momma to a two-year-old and nearly one-year-old, this is exactly what excites me most about our future homeschooling plans: togetherness. Great post! Thanks!
Aleah’s latest post: Entropy
I would tell my younger self that there will be wonderful friendships made and lots of them. Be choosy and keep moving forward.
Thank you for this! I’m finishing up and reflecting over my first year of homeschooling and looking ahead to homeschooling both kids next year. I would tell myself that many days will be more about character than academics. I would tell myself to be open to what the day brings and to let go of needing control and structure. To live each moment and soak them up. And in the words of Jim Elliot, “Whereever you are be all there.” To do it with all my heart. And when I want to shrink away, to press in to Jesus.
“I would tell myself that many days will be more about character than academics.”
Yes, yes and infinite yesses!
Rachel @ 6512 and growing’s latest post: our first time
Homeless lego savant! Hilarious!
Jackie’s latest post: May Books
AGREED, this made me laugh out loud because it’s just too true!
I’m a grandmother of grand children that attend public school and my daughter home schools her 3. She loves it. But I can tell you it would be easier and much cheaper on her and her husband to put them on a bus and send them them to a city school. I for one don’t think I could have don’t it. But for you that do God Bless your Hearts. She doesn’t give her children the summer off. For fear they would be to much make up. I’m very proud of her. She takes it very seriously. My hat off to all of you.
we haven’t even officially started homeschooling, start date of August 1, but it was so comforting to read what you have already learned! Thank you !
http://addalittlespirit.blogspot.com
Melissa’s latest post: Getting a 3 year old to listen to a book
Amen! For records I used those old-fashioned Continental teacher record books (I really wanted to be teacher when I grew up). I felt I needed special records for Sarah’s special education, and as Robin got older and took more difficult courses, I felt I needed to be accountable, just in case. Both girls have all their record books (remember, Robin finished in 1997, a LONG time ago). As for your journey, you have walked three years in this endeavor. YEAH! I remember your initial concerns. It is wonderful to be able to sit with your children and learn with them. Wait until you get to trigonometry and Latin and Greek roots (so Robin could study medical terminology at 16)! And all the other subjects your children will choose to learn. Let them explore their own interests. If I could say this, I am so very proud of you for your commitment! And your written journey!
After homeschooling three kids for nine years on two different continents, I would tell my beginning self many of the same things you’d tell yours! 🙂 Great post.
Hannah’s latest post: A Different Life
Much universality in this homeschooling, it seems.
Rachel @ 6512 and growing’s latest post: our first time
Love this post as it reflects my 5 year experience with my son. I have cherished my time with him above all else. It’s been amazing to learn beside him, too.
Camie’s latest post: June 2, 2014
This is a wonderful post and I enjoyed it quite a bit!! I especially like “‘Hello doubt and fear,” you might say to this familiar guest, “do you have a kind and helpful message for me?'” I will try to remember that. xo
homeless lego savant ah ha ha ha ha
I think of this priceless phrase several times a week now.
A very insightful post. I’ve been homeschooling for nearly 25 years (gaaaa!!) and I feel more blessed every year to have the privilege to do this with my kiddos. I’d encourage you busy moms to take lots of pictures, because the time with your littles goes WAY too fast. You’ll never regret this decision.
amy’s latest post: A matter of perspective
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