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On the quest for homeschool mindfulness

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On the quest for homeschool mindfulness
Written by Caitlin Curley of My Little Poppies

So there is this thing that happens when you homeschool, but it doesn’t happen right away.

At least, it didn’t for me.

You see, I’m one of the unexpected homeschoolers. I landed here swiftly and without warning and it took a good long while for me to adjust to our new normal.

But, eventually, it starts to happen.

At first, it’s subtle.

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Maybe you ease up on your planning or your record keeping.

Maybe you stop relentlessly crossing off all those to-dos in your mind.

Maybe you even lighten up on yourself and concede that you’re doing a pretty good job at this homeschooling thing, most of the time.

After a little while, during a moment of clarity, you see that you have relaxed into homeschooling. You have, for the most part, shaken off the public school mindset. You’ve learned firsthand that school and learning are two entirely different things and one can exist without the other.

You’ve realized that learning happens all the time when you relax and let it.

And, boy, does that feel good. Because it gives you permission to take everything down a notch or two and just breathe.

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You can stop worrying about where you are in that workbook, or why you’ve been reading the same chapter book for way too long, or about all those field trips you had hoped to complete by now.

You can give yourself space to just be.

When you relax into it, everything becomes educational. It’s as if homeschooling has given you a new lens with which to view the world and its endless lessons, from laundry to lunch to paying bills.

Every moment holds opportunity for learning.

I call this homeschool mindfulness. 

Homeschool mindfulness, for me, is the ability to allow learning to happen in the moment. It’s about letting go of control and trusting that your children will learn. It’s less about your plan and more about your children’s interests and natural curiosity and diving down rabbit holes.

When you achieve homeschool mindfulness, amazing learning can happen. And the best part is that it feels easier and, dare I say, fun.

The problem is, I’ve never been able to achieve homeschool mindfulness and stay there. 

I can stay there for a few days, a few weeks, sometimes even a couple months. But sooner or later, something interrupts it.

A worry creeps in.

Maybe I read an article that makes me question an element of our homeschooling.

Or perhaps there are one too many obligations to balance and my world feels off-kilter.

And, of course, there is always February to contend with.

Whatever the cause, I start to dwell too much on the future, and all of the must-dos and have-to-dos that come with it. I lose our homeschool mindfulness. Every. Single Time.

Without fail, the urgency sinks back in. And the doubt. And the stress.

And, too often, the tears.

Once you lose the homeschool mindfulness, it’s tough to get it back. And so we muddle through, and try our best, all the while hoping for its return.

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Well, I’m happy to report that this week we achieved it. After a winter filled with too many obligations, a killer case of homeschool hibernation, and an endlessly gray spring, an amazing thing happened.

One morning, we woke up to find a pair of blue jays outside our kitchen window. While we ate our breakfast, we watched as the pair collected twigs and roots with which to build a nest. It was mesmerizing. The two worked together, furiously, tugging and pulling and gathering.

The moment was interrupted by my youngest, who joyfully shouted, “Look! You can see the nest spot!”

We gathered together and looked up through the kitchen skylight to where he was pointing. And, sure enough, he was right. The blue jays kept returning to the same branch with their loot. We were witnessing them build their home, right from our kitchen island.

In that moment, I realized our homeschool mindfulness had returned. Everything had shifted. Just like that.

If we had been rushing or worrying, we would have missed the moment. Instead, we paused  and enjoyed it. We were learning together in the now, not worrying about later or tomorrow or next year.

Quickly, I snapped a [terrible] photo of the couple. I wanted to save the moment, so I could remember it later when I felt the mindfulness slipping from my grasp.

I don’t want to lose the homeschool mindfulness this time. 

I want it to stick.

This time, I’m determined to hang onto it for as long as I can. Here is what I am going to try to do, even when life gets crazy:

I am going to try to breathe, to make eye contact, to smile, and to be present in this moment.

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I am going to try to spend less time planning and more time doing.

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We are going to make space for the things we love, like doodling and dancing and cooking together.

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We will try to spend more time outdoors than in.

Homeschool Mindfulness

I sure hope it sticks around this time.

Do you feel this way too?

Breathe, homeschool mama. We’ve got this.

Tell us in the comments – what helps you feel mindfulness as a homeschooler?

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

About Cait Curley

Cait Curley, MA/CAGS is a school psychologist, mom to three kiddos, and an unexpected homeschooler. She believes that homeschooling can be *almost* all fun and games! Cait is founder of My Little Poppies and Never Board Learning, a private online community for creative parents and educators who love play-based learning and gameschooling. Cait is also one half of The Homeschool Sisters Podcast, which has over 1.3 million downloads worldwide.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Kim

    I too am a unexpected homeschooler. Now I know it is what I am meant to do, but I just think the timing need to be right for us. We are loving it and all learning so much together. We are learning that you can learn anywhere at any time. My favorite though is when one of the kids randomly say something to you and in that moment you realize they are truly learning and everything is going to be ok. I am constantly worried are we doing enough and those moments of mindfulness are so reassuring!! Thank you for the great article reminding us we are alone in this.
    Thank you,
    Kim

    Reply

  2. Kelli

    This was so refreshing. Thank you! I have a preschooler, middle schoolers and a high schooler. It’s hard to relax sometimes and let go.

    Reply

  3. Amy

    Thank you for this today! This, for me, confirms what I’ve been feeling already: that all of our kids, from our public school-attending fifth grader down to our one-year-old, have been “homeschooled” all along because we stay mindful of the CONSTANT opportunities to learn. One of my favorite examples of this right now is sharing with our children our journey through buying our first home. It’s provoked several really cool conversations with them about working hard towards a goal, managing credit, debt, and sticking to a budget. Because they share our dream of home ownership, they simply can’t get enough! We know that even beyond that “SOLD” sign, the lessons they’re learning on this journey with us will serve them well their whole lives.

    Reply

  4. Shelly

    Our two-year stint with unschooling really helped me to see learning in a completely different way. Now I’m perfectly okay with telling my son, yes, you can go to the creek instead of doing your books, and I’m much more likely to ditch the school work for a walk to the park. My worry usually creeps in at this time of the year, though, because this is when we do our yearly homeschool evaluations. My evaluator is great and approaches learning the same way we do, but I just can’t help myself. Just a leftover hangup from my own schooling, perhaps. Great post!
    Shelly’s latest post: Homeschooling Multiple Ages? Simplicity Is the Key to Success

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  5. Cara@TheHomeLearner

    I think you’re onto something. I’m all about capturing, remembering, and recording what we are learning and doing in our natural life. It means SO much more than planning, controlling, and micromanaging every detail of our education.
    The way that makes me feel peace is by honoring our moments.
    The way that makes me feel anxious is when I try to force it.

    Great thoughts – thanks Caitlin!
    Cara@TheHomeLearner’s latest post: Deadlines are awesome.

    Reply

  6. Erin

    Beautiful post and so encouraging! I too, struggle with this. That worry and fear always seems to creep back in and mess up our wonderful mindfulness.

    Reply

  7. Emily

    I love this post. Thank you so much for sharing. I often fall into the checklist trap. Lately I’ve noticed I’ve let things slide, but not really. We are still learning. And it’s been great.

    Reply

  8. Karmen Paterson

    Thank you for this. As the “end of the school year ” quickly approaches and I look at all of the curriculum books we didn’t even get halfway through because we were too busy partying, I am losing my homeschooling mind…fulness. Trying to play catch up for the last year and squeeze it into a month. But you’re right. I look back at the 52 billion pictures I’ve taken this school year and I can see that we have learned so much!

    Reply

  10. Mother of 3

    Yes! Yes! Yes! I often refer to us as almost unschoolers; we keep trying to get there but the worry, fears and stress get in the way so we end up reverting back to books and more traditional schoolwork with intermittent times of pure interest led learning.
    Mother of 3’s latest post: My Summer Goals

    Reply

  11. Monica

    Ah…..I am breathing now. Thank you so much for sharing this. I have been kind of feeling this wasn’t the best year for our homeschool. As I stared pulling together homeschool portfolios, I realized I didn’t have much paper to put in them. I started feeling anxious and regretful about all of the things we didn’t finish. Then I read this article and was reminded of all of the truly great experiences and things we have learned as a family. God bless you!

    Reply

  12. Talitha

    I want to be there so badly, but fear of inspectors at my door always seems to get me… does anyone else have that?

    Reply

  13. Lila Travis

    Your words reverberate with me strongly. We became an unexpected homeschool family back in February of 2018 following 6 months of unrelenting physical and emotional violence against my little boy by 2 students. Despite hearing all teh right words from the school admin, 5 adults were unable to restrain these 2 kids from biting, punching and generally beating up my 9 year old in the boys bathroom repeatedly over the course of a 40 minute recess. 5 adults tried to restrain the kids but were unable to stop it. There were no consequences and the violence continued until my son suffered a concussion at school and was home for 2 weeks. I never wanted to homeschool so it wasn’t even in my thoughts until I saw how much more relaxed he was at home with me, which contrasted the constant anxiety he was feeling in school. Homeschool mindfullness came to me at the beginning of this school year, a few days ago on August 18th, 2018, when my son said he was excited for homeschooling to begin again and he wanted to learn chemistry and art history this year. I rolled with it and nodded. Wow. This will work. Thank you for your post.
    Lila Travis’s latest post: Happy New Year!

    Reply

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