Homeschooling Kept Me from Rebelling ~
Written by Rebecca Lindenbach of Life as a Dare.
Many people think teenage rebellion is inevitable.
I say it’s not. I never rebelled.
I recently wrote a book, Why I Didn’t Rebel, where I delved into interviews and research to figure out what parents of kids who didn’t rebel did right. And something I’ve come back to again and again is the role homeschooling played in my own story.
I was homeschooled from the first grade through my first year of university, and today I want to share with you five ways that homeschooling helped me avoid teenage rebellion.
Homeschooling Kept Me from Rebelling
1: My whole life didn’t consist of high school
When you go to high school, it’s easy to let school become the main part of your life. You spend 40+ hours a week with the same people, and whether or not you fit in matters — it can make high school great or terrible.
School wasn’t my whole life. There was no reason to rebel because there wasn’t that constant pressure to impress. Instead, I was involved in activities that led to friendships that spanned across continents, not just classrooms.
Because I had a larger world view, I saw that life was bigger than four years of high school. It was easy to turn down opportunities to party or drink, because what was the point?
2: I worked
A huge part of the reason I was responsible throughout high school was that I worked. That is hands-down one of the best opportunities homeschooling gave me.
I worked at a YMCA during seniors’ hour. I spent my time chatting with 85-year-old women in my AquaFit classes, or hearing stories from a retired pastor.
A great thing about homeschooling is that kids aren’t strictly organized by age; you have the opportunity to meet people at all stages of life.
That makes your world so much bigger — what 16-year-olds around me were doing didn’t matter to me much, because I saw what life was going to be like at 25, 45, and even 75 years old. Working gave me that.
3: It was easier to talk to my parents
Most kids who go to public school are shuttled around all day between school and activities. You leave at 7 a.m., get home at 3 p.m., go to soccer for 4 p.m., and then rushed to youth group — but where does family time fit into all of that?
Because I was homeschooled, we had a lot of time to just do nothing together.
Time to do nothing together is more beneficial to the parent-child relationship than shuttling them to and from school and activities. That’s because when you’re just hanging out there’s no pressure to perform. You can just be you, and you know your parents are enjoying your presence.
With homeschooling, this time together happens naturally.
We didn’t need to carve out time for each other—it was just there. And as a result, talking to our parents came incredibly easy to my sister and me.
4: I was separate from the party atmosphere
Now, I wasn’t sheltered from partying in the least. In the small town I grew up in, everyone partied. I knew many who drank or smoke most weekends.
But homeschooling naturally removed me from that scene by protecting me from high school culture.
5: We were naturally part of each other’s lives
Most importantly, because of homeschooling, everything we did impacted each other. My bad mood impacted my mom; my mom’s great news meant we all celebrated. Everything we did had a greater significance than just how it affected us — and that impacted how we made decisions.
From the interviews I did for my book, I found that many kids who rebelled felt that their lives were separate from their parents’ lives. They had a mentality of “It’s my life,” or, “I’m the only one who’s going to get hurt, so what’s the problem with it?”
That was not the case in my family, nor was it the case for other families with kids who didn’t rebel. In our family, I knew that what I did wouldn’t only affect me — it would also significantly impact my parents and my sister.
We didn’t live separate lives of “parent” and “child” — we were simply Rebecca, Sheila, Keith and Katie. We had our roles, but we were people first. And homeschooling is what gave me the time with my parents that I needed to be able to see that they, too, would be affected by my decisions.
Homeschooling is one of the best things my parents could have ever done for me. My husband and I are even planning on homeschooling our own kids, someday!
But the number one gift that homeschooling gave me was a family where I belonged and against which I didn’t have any need to rebel. I’ll always remain grateful for that.
A note from Jamie: If you’ve ever wondered if teenage rebellion is just a given in today’s society, you need Why I Didn’t Rebel! I’ve read it and my 13-year-old son, Jonathan, has as well. We both loved it and found Rebecca’s story inspiring and her tone encouraging.
She also includes many stories from other teens–both those who have stories of rebellion and those who don’t–and she analyzes the home environments/lifestyle choices they grew up with to see what parents can learn from it. Highly recommended!
What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!
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This sounds like a great book! My kids are 5 and 8, and this is our third year homeschooling. Thanks!
My kids will be turning 9 yo on Saturday and 5 yo on Halloween, respectively. We are in our 4th year of homeschooling. I’d love to read this book, as I feel like the teen years are speeding toward us rather like a runaway train.
I’m very interested in reading more from this author’s perspective. I’ve often equated rebellion with the natural stage of becoming independent, but maybe not!
My boys are 10, 8, and 5, we’ve been homeschooling for five years.
This is so encouraging!!! My kids are 9, 8, 6, and 2 months old. I’m one of those that believes that we all homeschool from the beginning so we’ve been doing it for 9 years:). I will say though that we started doing a form of Joyschool and some learning activities at home at age 2 with the oldest and she also did a short time in a preschool to help us determine whether we would homeschool or public school. As the others came into the world they jumped in as well and we absolutely love it!!!
This sounds like a very interesting read! My kids are 15,11,9,6,4,1. I’ve been Homeschooling for 11 years. Thanks!
My daughter is 10 and is the only child the house now as siblings have grown up and moved on. I have worried a bit about rebellion from her as a teen because she’s growing up alone. She’s active in ballet, choir, etc and makes friends easily. I think your book is a must for me! Thank you for writing it and giving encouragement to so many!
My kids are 6, 4, and almost 2. This is our second year homeschooling.
My kids are 8,5,3 and 1 and we have homeschooled since birth!
My kids are 14 and 11 and I’ve been homeschooling my son for six years and my daughter for four.
Sounds like a great book! This is our first real year homeschooling our 5 year old son, and we have another son on the way!
My five kids range from 10 to 1. We have been homeschooling from the beginning.
Thank you for this great opportunity to win this book. My kids are 24, 19 & 12. My oldest 2 went to public school, and I’ve homeschooled my 12 yr old since 2nd grade. I would love to dive into this book, sounds like a great read!
This is our sixth year homeschooling, and my kids are 11, 10, and 4.
This is a very interesting book that I would love to read. My wife and I have three boys: 5, 2, and 6 months. And she has been homeschooling for 2.25 years. We love it so far, and a big part of our decision was your blog. Thank you! And keep up the good work =).
My kiddos are 13 & 10 & this is our 7th year homeschooling. 🙂
2nd year homeschoolers here. Kids ages are 10 & 13
11, 9, 6, 4, 10months
Homeschooling 5 years
This book sounds awesome! I have three children, ages 7, 5, & 4, and we have been homeschooling for three years now!
My daughter is 11 1/2 and thus is our 5th year homeschooling.
This article is amazing and gIves me hope for the teenage years.
Would love to read this! Our kids are 18 (graduated this spring), 15, 10, and 6. They’ve all always been homeschooled.
Good Stuff! I’ve been wanting a copy of this book since I saw it posted on Rebecca’s mom’s site. I follow her mom, Sheila, on social media and appreciate her ministry too! My kids are 24, 8, 7, 3, and 11 months.
We’ve been homeschooling for 5 years.
Thanks!!
Great post! My kids are 16, 13, and 11. We’ve been homeschooling the past five years. Welcome to year six!
My kids are 11,10,7,5,3 and 1. We have been homeschooling for six years. I am a second generation homeschooler and I also didn’t rebel!!
This book sounds like a great and beneficial read. My kids are 4 and 7, we’ve been homeschooling from the start as neither was ever in school but counting from the start of junior kindergarten will make it four years for my eldest child.
My kids are 7, 5, 3, and 6 months. This is my third year homeschooling. I’m very interested in the author’s research – look forward to reading her book!