Written by Jamie Martin, editor of Simple Homeschool and founder of Steady Mom
Last week at Simple Mom Tsh opened up to let us know what she doesn’t do. A few days later, Nicole at Simple Organic joined in. This got me thinking: Imperfection? Homeschoolers? These words go together like peas and carrots in my mind.
We begin on the homeschooling path with certain ideas, notions, and thoughts. Perhaps they are based on stereotypes we’ve had, maybe on grand concepts from books we read, or maybe they’re ideas from specific curricula we’ve chosen.
Our family once used a literature-based homeschooling program. (We still use many of their book selections, just not in such a formal capacity.) Each year they print a catalog showcasing their current resources and book selections. Each page features photos of children happily reading with their families.
My good friend Jill and I joke about the pictures they don’t show–like when her son yelled “I’m not coming to breakfast if you’re reading books!” Or when my daughter once said “Reading is boring.” (She doesn’t really feel that way; it was a bad day.)
If you’ve been homeschooling longer than an hour, you probably have had at least one imperfect moment. We know our limitations. Though we sometimes try to overextend ourselves, we realize deep down that we cannot do it all. We have to choose.
I’m happily in pursuit of the simple life, and as a result, it has led me to things I do…and plenty I don’t.
What I Do
- I do make simple, healthy meals most nights.
- I do focus on exposure when it comes to academics.
- I do believe in my kids.
- I do read to them–a lot.
- I do spend lots of time in nature.
- I do write and help inspire others.
- I do train my children in chores.
- I do smile and laugh–a lot (but not as much as I wish I did!).
What I Don’t Do
- I don’t meal plan.
- I don’t give my kids a bath or shower every night.
- I don’t clean very often.
- I don’t go on many outings during the week. (Usually about once or twice max)
- I don’t serve complicated food.
- I don’t knit, sew, or do many crafts at all.
- I don’t make my kids do worksheets.
- I don’t formally teach my children to read.
- I don’t focus on mastery of concepts.
- I don’t keep reading a book if it is boring.
Tell me about the things you don’t do in the quest for a simple, strong education at home!
I adore this post and the responses. There are a lot of things that I don’t do as well, but can you tell me….how many of you and how often, if ever, are you haunted by the list of things that you don’t do? Most of the time I can feel very secure in my choices of what I do and don’t do, but every once in a while, those fears creep in that I’m not doing the right things or the things that I don’t do are wrong as well?
It bothers me once in a while because of things I didn’t do. I move forward on to the next thing and always remember my mom wasn’t perfect either yet I”m okay 🙂 I think parents who are doing it all still feel that way to. I believe its normal because they are our kids.
MzBaker’s latest post: Early Thanksgiving Dinner @ My house November 20th Saturday 3pm
would love to hear more about your particular approach to not formally teaching your kids to read. my 3 year old is super interested in all things reading/letters/spelling. working on a cirriculum with her, and she really doesn’t like it. would love to abandon it, and have some guidance as to what worked in your unformal approach. thank you for what you do here. i read daily….
Wait a minute. There might be a few things we DON’T DO just because we decided to spend our time loving, teaching and nurturing our children. Well that’s a LOT!
Today I have a few very cranky children at home and guess what we are having a loving and learning day. I might not get to all of my to do list but maybe tomorrow. Today my children need extra love, discipline and my time.
Love to all!!!
I was never a very organized homeschool mom. I tried to plan ahead, but so many times we would just go with what was in the moment. I guess I should have just accepted the fact I was more of an unschooler and stopped putting so much pressure on myself!
I love all this sharing!
Bernice
Living the Balanced Life’s latest post: Depression is a Sneaky Little Liar
I really enjoyed this post Jamie! What stood out and yelled at me was that it is so much better to look at all the things we DO, and do well. The things I don’t do sometimes creep up on me a little too much. It is good to see faults and work on them but not so good to see them above all the good!
Thanks for the reminder I think I’ll make a list of the DO’s I do!
Danna
Things I do as a homeschooler:
– A lot of worksheets, because my kids LOVE worksheets, and respond well. So far.
– A lot of manipulatives along with those worksheets, because the kids love those too.
– Bible curriculum first thing.
– Let the kids play with play-doh or draw pictures as I read to them. They seem to retain stuff better that way.
– Give up on a day that just isn’t working, and start new the next day.
– Let my oldest do math on the couch, because sitting at the table irks him.
Things I don’t do as a homeschooler:
– I don’t do science, I leave that to the weekly program my kids are in.
– I don’t do a lot of text books, we use literature instead. (Totally works for us, for now.)
– I don’t formally teach my preschooler. He decides when he “does school,” and what he wants to do.
– I don’t do 100% of all curriculum every single day.
– I don’t do a lot of stuff on the computer with the kids. I would like to, it just hasn’t happened yet, and I’m not sure where to start anyway.
That’s just what’s off the top of my head. THANK YOU for sharing what you did! I was very encouraged.
I don’t go out more than 1 time a week (other than church) is my goal. However sometimes life happens and we have to be out more than 1 time. Twice is my max, any more than that, its crazy. But it does have to happen sometimes (eg. dentist appt, midwife appt and speech appt all in one week and all had to happen that week).
I don’t make complicated meals either. I do cook healthy and simple. But usually this means one pot or casserole type meals.
I don’t stress if supper one night means smoothies and sandwhiches.
I don’t bath my kids every night. We aim at 2-3 times in the winter, sometimes a bit more in the summer. Hair is done 1x a week. In the winter sometimes we go 1-2 baths a week. In the pioneer days its my understanding 1x a week was the norm. They also probably got dirtier than us!
I don’t wash my own hair (very long and takes a lot of time but I don’t want to cut it) more than 1x a week. I’ve had people tell me that they can’t do that, but hair adapts. No one ever has commented and I’ve asked honest friends and my husband and I also don’t notice until about day 6 or 7 or even sometimes don’t notice at all that its getting in need of washing.
THis is great….it feels freeing to see what other moms DON’T do!!! 🙂 Thank you.
Love this post and the responses! What a great idea! Homeschoolers spend way too much time worrying about what they should be doing. This post is very freeing.
Heidi’s latest post: How are assessments or testing whether the child has learned the material done with the Abeca curriculum
We are on our first year of home schooling so this was very good to hear.
we do’s
lots of crafts
math worksheets (only because he loves them and numbers)
memory words ( because he loves letters, writing words and reading)
bible verse. what better words to learn.
meal planning so I can stay on budget.
board games
hide and seek for imaginary animals using clues.
bug observations
grow plants
library visits
pen pals
google maps
pbs kids
dont do.
over schedule
take life to serious
stop curious moment from happening.
stop him from talking for the sake of a moment of silence.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE all these “don’t”s in the post and in the comments! You don’t know how freeing it feels!! Sometimes I wonder, am I the only one NOT doing this or that? Am I *supposed* to be doing something a certain way? I’m new to homeschooling, and have never been much of a ‘homemaker’, so I’m filled with insecurities! But hearing what other people don’t do is like a burden lifted, since so many of the things I don’t do, were on those lists!
I don’t bathe my children every day.(We aim for 1x a week)
I don’t wash my sheets every week.
I don’t mop/vacuum/sweep until I’m stepping on things.
I don’t cook meat most days of the week (saves time and money!)
I don’t do weekly spelling lists.
I don’t go to co-op or other homeschool classes.
I don’t do every subject, every day, or even every week.
I don’t do art. (But that doesn’t mean my son isn’t creative, *I* don’t do it, but he can go create something whenever he likes, I just don’t have anything planned for art).
Elaine’s latest post: Videos in Chinese for kids
I don’t blog.
I don’t do spelling lists.
I don’t have a spectacularly clean house.
I don’t have a perfect life.
I don’t embrace joy as much as I would like to.
I don’t take myself too seriously.
Lol! I love all the comments about not planning meals. This is my plan: buy real food. Open fridge or cupboard. Cook what looks interesting. Seriously, any other method just end up driving me batty and therefore doesn’t last.