Written by Jamie C. Martin of Simple Homeschool
Often I take a look in Google Analytics to see what brings people to Simple Homeschool. Many readers arrive after an online search, on the hunt for information about a certain topic. Common searches that bring readers here include simple homeschooling, homeschool encouragement blog, waldorf homeschooling, and making the first homeschool day special.
But my heart dropped a little when I read that a few people found this blog after typing in “I want to homeschool, but I don’t want the responsibility.”
Fear of responsibility on the homeschooling path isn’t uncommon. After all, so our thoughts tease, if we send the kids to school and things aren’t going well, there’s someone else to blame. But if we grasp this calling fully by the reins, we know in whose direction fingers will point if results aren’t in line with the norm.
Would you prefer to listen to this post?
Even typing that makes me anxious, so I know that for others just starting out, the feelings come with even more intensity.
Homeschooling isn’t for cowards, you know.
I want to homeschool, but I don’t want the responsibility.
There’s no magic formula for anything in life, including home education. Here are a few thoughts to remember when you get frightened by the enormity of the task ahead.
1. Just take responsibility for loving your child–today.
Childhood experts generally agree that parents are the ones who know what is best for their toddlers–little ones need love and security above all else. That need doesn’t change just because a child turns five.
The foundation for a strong learning experience is relationship. That’s why so many children don’t get the education they deserve–relationships, in the classroom or at home, are in turmoil.
Most people feel confident that they can love their child, but question whether they can educate their child.
In reality, they are one and the same.
Thinking about all the years from age four to high school graduation is enough to make any mom swoon. That’s why I only ask myself what I should do today.
So don’t research a physics curriculum if your child is seven. The future only offers fear. Start with today’s responsibility–it’s simple.
2. Question the system.
Most of those reading this post grew up within the traditional school system. As such, we’ve accepted certain beliefs about education that may not even be true–beliefs we never were encouraged to question.
This is especially true for those who have just started considering homeschooling and haven’t had time to research alternative educational philosophies.
Some of the things we may believe:
- “Experts” are required to teach children.
- I’m not qualified to do this.
- I haven’t learned something until “they” agree that I have.
- School has to be boring.
- There are just certain things that must be learned, whether you like it or not.
- This (curriculum, style, philosophy, etc.) is just the way education is.
The educational blueprint that is standard today did not even exist two hundred years ago. What is now the norm wasn’t always.
This doesn’t mean that the system is always the enemy, never has successes, or never does anything positive. It just means that it isn’t the only way. Learning doesn’t have to be this complicated. For those just beginning to question the system, I highly recommend the book Dumbing Us Down by John Taylor Gatto.
Photo by Rebecca Wilson
3. Your children’s education is your responsibility no matter where they go to school.
Homeschooling is absolutely not right for every family, in every situation, every year. But your child’s education most certainly is your responsibility every moment of every day–no matter where she studies.
This was impressed on me when I first began learning about British educational reformer Charlotte Mason. She took issue not only with poor parents who sent their children to work too early, but also with rich families who hired governesses and then considered their job “done.”
Mason rightly believed that the goal of education was not to merely fill a child’s mind with certain facts. I found myself giving her an internal standing ovation as I read these words:
“The question is not, –how much does the youth know? when he has finished his education–but how much does he care? and about how many orders of things does he care? In fact, how large is the room in which he finds his feet set? and, therefore, how full is the life he has before him?”
4. Accept (& even embrace) that there will be gaps.
Was your education perfect?
Nope, mine either. Though most of us graduated from traditional schools without knowing all, many homeschooling parents deeply fear that they won’t be able to cover everything.
Let me put it to you straight – you won’t.
Are we trying to raise intelligent robots–or children who discover their passions and purposes in life? In spite of No Child Left Behind, children are being left behind in vast numbers each and every day.
Your responsibility, Mom and Dad, is not to produce perfection.
Your responsibility, as a homeschooling parent, is simply this: to nurture, love, forgive, believe, pray for patience, deliver grace, spread the feast, feel the fear, act in courage, get up tomorrow, and do it again.
How have you been able to embrace the responsibility of taking on your children’s education?
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That was the final thing for us in deciding to homeschool my children. I knew it wouldn’t ever be prefect, but it’s our responsibility to make sure our children are learning as best as they can and why not, we’ve helped them learn everything since birth, we CAN do this!!!
For me the best thing about homeschooling our children is that they now love to read! By 2nd and 4th grade our 2 older children hated reading because they didn’t enjoy what they were forced to read in public school. It broke my heart they they hated it so much. Now, they love to read so much that they are constantly researching things and learning new things on their own, simply because THEY want to. That makes my job easier!! Once in a while I will ask them “What is something you would like to learn more about?” When they decide they go research, read and learn everything they can about it. Sometimes they will write a few paragraphs, sometimes a paper and sometimes they will just share all they learned with us. It is very common for out 2 older children now 11 & 13 to spend close to 2 hours reading each day.
In the end I know they now love reading, and there isn’t much the cannot learn if we miss something if they know how to read and have the desire!
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Your title gripped my heart. This was the first of homeschool posts that I’ve read ALL THE WAY THROUGH in a while; not skimming over the content.
With 6 children, all levels, it IS most days overwhelming to know that I’m “doing it right”.
Thanks for the encouragement.
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I have only been homeschooling for a few months, but I can readily admit that I do not always “want” to. I find the task to be overwhelming at times!! However, I am very fortunate to have a strong faith in my God to provide me with the strength, wisdom, patience, and the desire to handle the task that He has called me to do. Without Him, I would not have entertained the notion to begin with! My husband and I believe that regardless of how we sometimes feel, we must trust that God will continue to equip us for the task of raising our children. He’s called our family to take on this role, so we trust Him. The responsibility IS great, but we do not (and–we dare not) do it alone 🙂
Absolutely, Demetria!
Knowing my calling is what I put every ounce of faith in when the overwhelming days come and the fear thoughts knock on my door.
Thanks so much for your comment.
Jamie’s latest post: I want to homeschool- but don’t want the responsibility
Seriously, the responsibility of raising kids at all is scary if we think about it! 🙂 I love #3 and AMEN! I just take it day by day, and lots of prayer!
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Jamie, this is beautiful! Such good encouragement for everyone, no matter where their children are learning right now. We really are responsible for our kids’ education, no matter where they learn. And instead of this truth being scary, it’s really freeing. How cool is it that we’re given the task of raising the next generation?
Great post, friend.
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Thank you, Tsh, for reading and taking time to comment!
I echo Tsh. Beautifully written. Every word.
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AMEN!!!! Thank you for writing this!!!!! I am a former public school teacher now homeschool teacher and am finding it very hard to “break” the norm and teach my children a “different” way than the schools. Teaching them to love learning is way more important than stuffing facts down them. So, thank you for encouraging and inspiring all of us! 🙂
I always love to hear from those who taught traditionally as well – thanks, Laura, for sharing your experience. And for your encouragement, too!
What a great post! It is so true that you can easily get wrapped up in what a responsibility homeschooling is, to the point that it is intimidating. But it is our responsibility to be involved in our child’s education. I actually find that now my son is educated at home, by me, it is sometimes less stressful because I know what is going on, rather than second-guessing what is going on at school.
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before homeschooling (this is our first year) i never got how homeschooling and parenting go hand in hand (and sometimes are one in the same). discovering that for myself this year has been such an encouragement to me. we have our curriculum, but we also learn about things and deal with issues as they come up in life. what a relaxed and interesting way to learn! and our family has bonded so much throughout the process.
our daughter will be attending a school next year (for language and culture reasons), but i definitely plan on doing some things at home (even if it’s just reading all the books we can get our hands on).
“But your child’s education most certainly is your responsibility every moment of every day–no matter where she studies.”
amen!
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Fantastic post! I was nodding all the way through.
I’m printing this out right now. You just said perfectly every thought that I had been wrestling with for the last four and a half years (since the day my daughter slipped into my world and changed everything). I especially like #3. Everything surrounding my children is my responsibility. Why should their education be any different?
Exactly! Our kids do completely change our whole worlds, don’t they?
Thanks, Kristen!
Point 1 –
“Most people feel confident that they can love their child, but question whether they can educate their child. ”
My brain immediately said:
“Living is learning and when kids are living fully and energetically and happily they are learning a lot, even if we don’t always know what it is. ” – John Holt 🙂
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Love John Holt, Jessica!
It blew my mind the first time I began reading some of his thoughts. He had such a wonderful respect and love for children.
This is one of my favorite posts you have written here. I think this is one of the biggest issues that comes up when people ask me about homeschooling. I often hear, “I don’t know how you do it. I could never…” And I often lack for how to answer. It is hard to explain the fullness of how I feel it is the best choice for my children, their future, our family and to fulfill our calling/stewardship as parents. I appreciated your lines ” Homeschooling is not for cowards” and “Embrace…that there will be gaps.” Thank you for this post.
Yes, I always think “I could never do it, either.”
I still think that many days, but that doesn’t change my commitment to doing it. The good stuff that changes lives and makes a difference isn’t always the easy stuff. But it’s still the best stuff.
Thanks for your encouragement, Linda!
Thank you, Jamie. Your reply here is key: “the good stuff that changes lives and makes a difference isn’t always the easy stuff (it rarely is)” and I agree, “it’s still the best stuff”. Remember: “The gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few” – Matthew 7:14
I’m another that doesn’t always read the whole posts on blogs, but I read this whole post, and thank you. We are in our first year of HS our daughter (15). Highschool isn’t the easiest place to start, but it’s where we started. Granted much of it, she does on her own, but there is a big chunk that her father and I have to have a role in. And we have another little guy (2) that will be HS from the start. That is where I feel the most overwhelmed. Some HS blogs show them filling their days with the most awesome adventures, I feel that I won’t be able to do that. I know that in time and with much prayer, I too can be a great HS MOM!!
Thanks for this post today. Keep up the good work.
I just wanted to encourage you NOT to do it all! I have a 3 year old who is the third and I, too, see what everyone else is doing and feel like I should keep up. That is, until I remember that now is the time that I can spend taking her places and doing things very loosely. There’ll be time to really focus later 🙂
Very very true, thank you 🙂
I absolutely agree with Amanda, Katie. Your son (& daughter) will have the most incredible childhood just by having the chance to be with YOU.
The amount of hours you’ll get to invest in him is so much greater than what he would be getting in a traditional classroom, and together you’ll be able to create the education that suits him (& you) best. It will be beautiful! Your courage to start where you have inspires me today.
Be blessed!
Oh, this is so very well said. Sometimes I begin to panic if life intervenes and we don’t get to everything I had planned for the day, but then I take a step back and look at my child and see that he IS learning everything I want him to learn: curiosity about the world around him, a hunger for knowledge, compassion for others, and practical life skills.
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I agree, I think one of the best posts on homeschooling I’ve read in a long time. On the occasions that I’ve fantasize about sending the kids to school I’ve found part of the fantasy is relinquishing that responsibility. But that’s a fantasy.
Thanks for writing so succinctly.
Oh Hillary – you have that fantasy also??
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lol-I almost felt guilty writing it. Erased and wrote it again! Yes, when we’re having one of those day I fantasize about public school and it’s usually only about the “baby-sitting” factor 😉
I’m with you, ladies!
Don’t forget all the books we could read AND books we could write while they were away….
(Shhh, don’t tell anyone I said that!) 😉
Strangely enough, the decision to homeschool was an easy one for me. I love to learn and always had a passion for it – do learning WITH my son is going to be an exciting challenge.
Then there is my son. He WANTED to be at home. In spite of his truly bright nature and energetic desire to learn, he hated school. He couldn’t talk to other kids and be as social as he wanted (I hate that the principal herself asked me about “socialization”), and he wasn’t at the pace he desired.
I have watched an 8 year old spend an entire week researching sharks, saving information from different sources, tracking down pictures, and having FUN learning something new. I know it doesn’t work for all kids, but we’re running on a mostly interest based curriculum. The only thing that doesn’t go into that is math and some science. I can handle that.
You just have to figure out what works for your kids and roll with it. Some like the structure of a planned curriculum… and some have wandering minds. I firmly believe each type of personality has great value.
This is a great post, Jamie! I think it is looking less and less likely that we will decide to officially homeschool, but I firmly believe that my kids’ education is mine and my husband’s responsibility, so matter where they go to school. It boggles my mind when parents just send their kids off to school everyday without a second thought about what they’re learning, how they’re learning it, etc. It’s still ultimately our job and our responsibility, as parents. That helps me to feel better about any “gaps” that might be there in the education they receive in public school, because I know that their public school education is far from being the only education they get.
Yes. This is what I wanted to say too – that even if I didn’t homeschool, but sent my child to public school (or wherever) that their education would STILL be MY responsiblity. One of my husband’s biggest frustrations (he teaches middle school) is that parents expect him to be a miracle worker but they don’t want to be held accountable for helping their own children with their learning, with social/life skills, etc. A school system and a teacher – even one who genuinely cares about your child- cannot replace the parent.
An excellent post – it is sure to encourage many parents who fear homeschooling all the way through high school! As a former public school teacher I realized my “best” students were those whose parents were very involved in their children’s lives. I became one of those “involved” moms for 3 years when my eldest child attended a private school. We were troubled by the duplicity in the schooling system and took our child out of school and homeschooled her and the younger children.
Nothing replaces an interested and involved parent. Despite this, the decision to homeschool is not cast in stone. It is our best choice for our children for now. We trust Him for guidance as we navigate our children through the high school years.
Nadene, I’m curious what you mean by “the duplicity in the schooling system.” Would you mind elaborating on your experience a little bit? I’m wondering if this is what we’re going through right now, as amazing as my daughter’s Charlotte Mason school is.
Just curious. 🙂
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I refer to duplicity in the children in the school. Even though the school board, the teachers and parents, the curriculum and ethos were selected for Christian/ Charlotte Mason/ (or whatever) principles, we found that the children were just that – children. Even though the teachers mentored and disciplined the children, our child was regularly exposed to peer influences and doubtful, immature society. I respected the dedicated teachers and the headmaster, but wanted my child to respect others, be sincere and grow in those values and principles our family stood for.
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This is our first year of homeschool. I really needed this post today, I feel like I have not done much (they are both in Kinder) this year except figure out how to help them learn. I have had to learn for the last five months what kind of “learners” they are because until we started I really had no idea. This was very encouraging to me because I often visit other homeschool blogs and feel as if we are not doing what we should although we are following our curriculum. (Heart of Dakota) Thank you for reminding me that I am able to educate them because I love them.
What you are doing is absolutely perfect for the age of your kids – truly, Kimberley!
You are setting them up for the best future success just by investing your time with them, even when that doesn’t look the least bit “educational.”
We too are using heart of dakota, and I love it, that is when we do “structured” schooling. I have a 5yo and 21mo. I see what everyone around me is doing and think I”m not good enough because most days I see her as only 5 and think she doesn’t need to be rushed into formal learning at this age, rushed to grow up. And I don’t need to be stressed while trying to balance the grabby 21 mo and missing the fleeting moments of babyhood. When I”m not doing as the world is though, I think I”m failing. And then there are these moments like tonight after nursing the babe to sleep I walked by my 5yo room and through the sliver of a light through the crack I hear and see her. Reading a book to herself. Sounding so clear. She’s learning. It doesn’t matter how it happens just that she is. And that I’m here to witness it in the simple moments.
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I loved where you said homeschooling is not for cowards. That is certainly true. My husbands family believes I am not ‘qualified’ to homeschool my children because I am not a certified teacher. It takes a lot of courage to kindly stand up for what I believe is right for our family.
Thank you for writing this. It was just the encouragement I needed!
Wow Jamie! Such a great post — and a great reminder that as homeschooling parents, we don’t have to do everything the way it would happen in school, we just need to do what works in our home for our own children. I often get hit with feelings like “I’m not doing enough,” and when that happens next time, I will return to this post. Thanks, as always, for the inspiration!!
Wonderful. I’m home-schooling my oldest (of three) Kindergarten this year and struggle to stay focused with two younger ones at home. Writing about teaching them to LOVE LEARNING is very motivating. I just asked my daughter, “What would you like to learn about this week?” and she immediately said, “How the sun sets and why do roses have prickles?” How fun will it be to discover these things and more. Hugely encouraging…Thank you!
Thank you so much for this article!! It was just what I needed., along with all of the wonderful comments! We are planning to HS after this year and my oldest will be in 6th grade. We just got all of the info on the middle school and what the curriculum covers and I started to panic a little that we wouldn’t be able to teach “enough”. Everything about your article hit home and gave me that reassurance (as well as my husband’s ability to re-frame my thinking), that all will be ok.
I am so grateful to be able to get insights before we “officially” start to homeschool! Thanks again!
I have to tell you that your article really hit home for me.
I have 5 kids and one has autism. We have toyed with the idea of homeschooling because he is not getting the services he needs and is not being taught the way HE learns. We feel at 10 he should be able to tell time, count money, know life skills. These are more important to us than some of the curriculum they are teaching him.
Plus he is in a zone half of the time bored and not focused.
When you quoted Charlotte Mason it all made sense.
I worry about how i can keep him focused here at home if I taught him. I do doubt if i can do this but your post was what I needed to hear.
Thank you
MArisa
I too loved the article as I recently broufht my son out of the 6th grade in Middle School as he too has Autism and it was making him more anxious, scared and angry which he would redirect on us. Now that he is home I feel stuck with how to begin. I came this close to re-enrolling him but I do feel God is calling me to take on this new journey. He shuts down before I can even get him to try. Would love ideas in how to reach him. I know he needs structure but he is fighting me and having a hard time with the expectations and his strong attachment to me as Mom. I didn’t bring him home for his behaviors to become worse.
Jamie, adding my voice to the many already here. This was amazing my friend. So, so encouraging. As I take a morning off (because we just went winter backpacking and I have 4 loads of laundry to do, no dryer, a mess of gear all over my living floor) of “school” I needed to read this.
But I need to read this on many days that I feel so not up to this awesome responsibility. Like the days I wonder why my son isn’t confidently reading yet or feel bad that I can’t offer my daughter dance classes this year. When I feel I’m not covering all the bases and we are heavily skewed towards art and creativity.
Loved that last little paragraph… and get up and do it tomorrow – Amen sister.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Mother of 2 and one on the way and I feel so very heartbroken dropping my 7 year old off every morning, (to one of the “best schools” in the nation) imagine that 🙁 Even being a certified elem, teacher I am SO VERY intimidated about getting it all right and your piece today has helped tremendously ! ! ! I can and will help the best that I can every day and I suppose that is all I can really ask of myself and of my children, thanks for taking the lid off of the pressure cooker I had put myself in !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for this encouraging post! <3
I love, love, LOVE this! Yes, it is our responsibility {their education} no matter where they go to school – and that’s what I find most troublesome… I put a lot of time & thought into homeschooling our boys, but so many people put no thought into schooling choices AT ALL!
I know that some people do the thinking & make the choices and still arrive at public school, and that’s great! Homeschooling is definitely not for everyone. But I really wish people would take the time to consider their decision, and not just decide that since the child is 5, it’s time for public school kindergarten.
I feel the same way, Christi. I only began considering homeschooling because I felt I needed to consider ALL the options available to me.
I wish more people would keep an open mind and consider it as well.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.
I so needed to hear this today. We are in the midst of pulling our child from a school setting and it is stressful! We know that we (mom and dad) are intended to be her teachers, and feel that burden right now. Thanks for the reminder it wont ever be perfect, so we should aim for something different.
That must be incredibly stressful, Thayer. Blessings on your family as you take the steps that feel right for you all.
We pulled our son out of 1st grade this year, around Thanksgiving time, and it *was* stressful! I can assure you that when you are having your first homeschool morning and you find that you are not running around like crazy to get ready and out the door, you will be glad! Good luck to you and don’t let anyone at school bully you into betraying your ideals!
We aren’t homeschooling yet (kiddos are very little), but are currently reading Dumbing Us Down. We both work full time now – so are trying to figure out what the future looks like for us – and how to become one income, so we can take on the role of educating our children.
Wow, I’m totally blessed and humbled that so many of you have resonated with this post.
I think we all relate to the same fears and insecurities, but the fact that you are all continuing forward is proof of what the power of love for our kids leads us to do. You are all inspiring!
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Wow… Totally awesome post… Amen and Amen!!!
Very encouraging post as I’m going to start homeschooling my daughter next year for KN. Thanks!
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Thank you.
This was well-timed for me. We still have a few years before our daughter is ready for kindergarten, but we have already begun discussing it. Some days I feel so capable, and other days I can’t imagine bearing the full load of her education (in spite of the fact that sending her to school would also mean me headed to school as a teacher). It’s a great reminder to go one day at a time. Even with the “preschool homeschool” we’re doing now. Sometimes love is the only thing accomplished for a day, and you know what? That’s ok 🙂
We are only a few months into our homeschooling journey and I tell myself every single day that rome was not built in an hour, a day or a year even.
I found myself crying before and after school days for my son. Every day was a pep talk. You can do this sweetie, its ok you’ll be fine! I would miss him. When he got home he was stressed, tired and most days ” in trouble”. Socially anxious and dissolving from the inside out. We are taking one day at a time. He’s the happiest I’ve seen him in years, and even though this may sound selfish I no longer have to miss him.
I always fear that one day I will wake up and they will be all grown up. What if’s are on my mind day after day but at least I know he’s happy, healthy and we are both trying our best. I still think about resorting to outside resources to insure “the best” education. Ultimately it IS the responsibility of it all that scares me most. What if… what if…what if..???
My son was in public school kindergarten for about 6 weeks last year, and the experience for him was almost exactly like you described it for your son. Your description of him as “socially anxious” and “dissolving from the inside out” was precisely what we were seeing. It was absolutely heartbreaking. Taking him out of school was stressful, but he is so much happier and healthier at home. (And volunteering at the school while he was there was extremely helpful for me, as I got to see first-hand, how very little was being accomplished all day, and how the much-touted field trips I attended were mostly chaos and a complete waste of time.) Enjoy these precious days together–you will never regret it!
My parents worked to death to send me and my sibblings to a private school. I missed so much not having time with my talented and sweet mom who was so tired at the end of the day.
We have homeschooled since the beginning. We love it and it’s so worth it.
This is a great post. Everyone fears this. If I start to look at what it might look like two years from now or ten years from now I can’t handle it. So I take it day by day and year by year. Less scary to swallow, plus I can’t know what it will be like until I’m doing it.
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Thank you for this. We’re relatively new to homeschooling (only a few months in after dropping out of 1st grade) and I’m still in that place where I *know* its the right thing to do in this moment, but still unsure of how it’s all going to work out.
What I needed to hear as we begin a new week. At times I am overwhelmed with the responsibility I feel for teaching my kids, (ages 9, 7 and 3). But in the end, the longing in my heart is to nurture, love and encourage them to be who they have been designed to be. So, I begin each day on my knees asking for the humility, patience, grace and discipline to take them there bit by bit.
I really like SimpleHomeschool, but I was really offended by the “Homeschooling isn’t for cowards” line. To me, it implied that if you send your child to a traditional school (no matter how involved you are), then you are a cowardly parent. I understand that is probably not how you intended the line, but it still irks me. I think it is wonderful that some parents choose to homeschool, but I don’t think that making a different choice would make me a coward. (My kids are 2 yrs old, and 9 months old, so we won’t be making any schooling choices any time soon.)
As someone who also isn’t homeschooling yet (my 4 and 3 year olds attend a wonderful preschool), I wasn’t offended by the line “Homeschooling isn’t for cowards.” To me, it didn’t imply anything on parents who choose a traditional path, but rather speaks directly to parents who choose a non-traditional path-homeschooling. For me, if I choose to homeschool I will have to do so against the advice of my mother (a public school teacher), most of my close friends (all public school teachers as that was my previous occupation), our neighbors, and society in general. My children’s daily lives, social skills, and academic acheivement will be looked at through a much larger magnifying glass than if I chose to send them to the traditional public school. Making the choice to homeschool would take a huge amount of courage on my part, but I equally feel that I would not be a coward if I end up educating my children in public school. On the contrary, I’m going to have to work up a large amount of courage to drop my baby off at a very large school, in the trust of a teacher I don’t know well.
You are always welcome to share your thoughts here, Rheagan–even if you don’t homeschool or if you disagree. I’m sorry you were offended, I most certainly do not think parents who choose traditional schooling are cowards in any way or form.
Parenting in general isn’t for cowards, it requires courage each and every day. And we all make the decisions we believe are best for us and our children.
All the best,
Jamie
I’ve been working on a post related to this topic & this galvanized me to finish it.
It’s called “It is good enough to be kind”
http://bit.ly/eeqDFC
cheers 🙂
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I was never a big fan of homeschooling until I took it on for myself and my family. Now I really wonder how we ever got to a point (as a society) where we would willingly hand over our children to an institution and have almost no input into their education. Yes, it is a huge responsibility, but I am so darn glad to be able to take it on. I never would have envisioned myself here 6 years ago, but darn am I glad that it’s turned out the way that it has. I am so thankful for the “extra” time that I have with my child.
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best thing that stuck out from our services this Sunday:
“We have a right to divine inspiration on behalf of those under our stewardship.”
In other words, we, as parents, will always be led and guided to what we need to do to care for our children. We have a right to those instincts, and a responsibility to listen to them.
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I love this post! I only have an almost three year old and the pressure to put her in preschool is on! But I’m resisting. In a few years, I hope I can be brave enough to follow through what my heart is telling me to do. I feel like I have a lot of personal work to do, a lot of growing up before I can pull this off. But as you said, I can only love my child for today. Future does bring in the fear a bit but focusing on what I can do now to get there is also helpful.
Thanks, Jamie!
I don’t think saying “homeschooling isn’t for cowards” is derisive at all. There’s absolutely no way anyone could argue that it is an easier path to homeschool a child. Not to imply the alternate path is cowardly, but to describe homeschooling and the fact that this decision is without a doubt not for the faint of heart.
Thank you, Cat!
Before I read #3, I was mentally thinking “but you already ARE responsible!”
You handled this beautifully, addressing the fears well. I think I may not have been so gracious in responding.
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Jamie, this was just what I needed today. We are in the process of transitioning our three out of public montessori school and into homeschool (starting last fall and hoping to end the transition this summer)- every day I keep vacillating about whether we’re making the right choice, whether I can ‘do it all’, etc. I think the responsibility of it all is what overwhelms me. Thank you for the encouragement to keep in mind what really matters.
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That would take lots of courage, Mary Beth. God bless you all in the path you’re pursuing – you absolutely can do it! (You can’t “do it all” but you can do what matters most.)
Blessings to you and yours,
Jamie
beautifully written, made me tear up, I, like everyone else, especially loved #3. Thanks so much!!!
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Jamie!
This post is a home run on all counts! No wonder you call this space Simple Home school. You hit on most key points for homeschooling families just starting out and those who have been at it a while and still have doubts from time to time. The most obvious one… homeschooling or not parents are still responsible!
I loved it!
Debbie ( creatively homeschooling for 13 years )
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That is so encouraging, Debbie. Thank you so much.
Thank you for this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh Jamie, that last sentence brought a tear to my eye. Thank you.
I went to private school, public school and was home schooled. I can honestly say that my home school year was the most memorable, foundational year of my education.
I never thought I would home school…seem like too much work and I have 2 little girls and a boy on the way. However, I am learning that it does not have to be as daunting as it seems. It is encouraging to see moms who can do this with multiple children. I just hope I can still stay on top of the house and be there for the husband when he gets home too.
That’s amazing that you had such a pivotal year while homeschooling. You’re right, change always seems daunting–but the reality is not nearly as frightening as the overwhelming thoughts make it out to be.
You can make it work for you and your family!
I have the same thoughts…. and only have one 5 yr old gir. (I have a step daughter whom I must re-teach the public school day everyday b/c she didn’t grasp any of it due to a class of 31/1 & the breakdown of discipline of this age.) I was homeschooled but have a more demanding / stressful life situation than my mother. I feel overwhelmed at times with being able to stay on top the house, and still giving hubs time while also exercising and cooking and finding “calm down” time for “me”. God is showing me though, if I’ll stop trying to plan/control it in the natural, that He will accomplish it all in the spiritual.
This post was excellent. Many days I tell myself don’t look beyond this week. Yes have goals for the future, but don’t like you said worry about calculus before it’s time for my 7 year olds.
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I’m crying as I read all the comments (I rarely read comments). In my heart I need to homeschool my daughter (going to kindergarten in the fall) but I’m so scared and my husband is worried about me burning out (we have a 20 month old and 8 week old too). My daughter talks about going to school with enthusiasm. Anyway I want to read this whole post + comments to my husband. Ugh! This decision is so difficult.
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Kiasa, be encouraged!!! I was where you are years ago, and you DO burn out, just as if they went to a traditional school. You simply all take a break. To be honest, my children learn more in the breaks! Real life is a better teacher than any textbook or classroom. 🙂 We now have 6 children and are still at it. SUCH a blessing! Not always easy, but always worth it.
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Kiasa, Don’t be scared, you can do this!! Just a couple of thoughts, my children have all had a pre-school/kindergarten experience and then we HS from there. Like you I did this because I always had very little ones and felt like if someone else could get them started, and they then had that point of reference, it was good for all of us. Than read!! Much of this journey is self education. Read about different educational methods, read about the history of education in America, read about our forefathers, and know that as their parents you and your husband should and will make all the right decisions for your family. Do not compare or put any stock in what “they” have to say, follow your heart and you will be just fine.
Kindergarten may be a blast for her especially with two very young ones at home. Let her try it…you can always change your mind and homeschool from there on out. With my youngest son we began homeschooling after third grade and are still at it four years later. With my oldest-he is in public school because by the time I figured out how behind he was it was too late to change his mind-so I just do a lot of at home tutoring with him. Take it all one day at a time and you will do a fine job no matter what you decide. Blessings-
Thank you very much for confirming my (and my husband’s) belief that our daughter’s education is OUR responsibility, not the school’s. We taught our daughter how to sign at 9 months, read to her every chance we got, and encouraged her curiosity in everything because of this belief. After two years of kindergarten and a year in conventional school, we decided to really live out our belief 24/7. We’re at the end of our first year and Helen (now 7) enjoys homeschooling so much she adamantly refuses to go back to conventional school! You’re so right about developing a strong relationship, it’s THE foundation for everything else. Have a good relationship with your child and everything else will easily fall into place. – Pia, a Filipino mom
The daunting responsibility worries me endlessly, but the proof is in my children. I brought my children home two years ago and no matter how much I question what I do, it has been the best thing I have ever done for them. It’s not perfect. I am forever scrutinizing and altering our methods, but the kids are thriving and happy. The one who has the most to learn is me. I have to learn to trust and relax into this. Thank you for posting on this subject.
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Thanks for this post! This is my first year homeschooling and I was definitely fearful of “failing”. I’m so glad I surged ahead despite my fears. Point #4 really hit home.
As we approach highschool with our oldest and still have five others, I have seen an increase in my panic and self-doubt. Thank you for this timely reminder! Seriously necessary!
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I wanted to add something encouraging to this conversation from the perspective of someone who is a bit further down the home school road. I have been homeschooling my eight children (8 t0 29, currently) now for over twenty three years and there have been many hard times when I just wanted to quit. However, I haven’t because this road has been the obvious best one for my family despite all the trials. Home school has continued through marriage and church problems, health and emotional problems, elder parent issues and deaths, three miscarriages, one bout of cancer, and several stray animals brought home by hopeful children. And as I continue on my journey I have come to know that the journey was never about how competent I am in any subject or what I covered but my relationship with my children, my husband, and my God. Period. If those are a priority everything else will work out. My oldest son is one of my favorite examples of how it never was about how good a teacher I could be although I do try. Despite my personal trials during his high school time (health and personal), and in spite of me never doing any kind of formal science (lots of younger siblings), my son found his passion for biology in college (local community and state). He studied hard; he networked with teachers. He was offered full graduate school scholarships to MIT, Harvard, etc. He found his way. So did my other children in their college and in their job paths. I know this is not a checklist of how to do it but I hope there is some encouragement in knowing that it can all work out with our priorities firmly set before our eyes. Jamie did a very nice job in summing this up at the end of her writing.
It is nice to hear others have the same concern. I am always questioning myself. I decided to not look at it as a lack of confidence but instead a way to evaluate if what we are doing in school is in line with our values and goals for our children. I often feel overwhelmed with day to day responsibilities. I have four children and am homeschooling them. They are 8,6,4, and 2. I have to admit as we are in the middle of our third year it is getting easier. I think it is a combination of me feeling more and more confident and the kids getting older. I think when you have little babies you need to bite off smaller chunks and do shorter time periods of school. Anything is better than none. And some days I definitely feel that way. Hope that helps anyone who is discouraged or is considering homeschooling.
Hi Juliette!
I’m homeschooling my first grader. I have 4 kids ages 7, 4, 2 and 4months. I could really use some advice as to how to schedule my day. I’m struggling with time management right now and feel like I’m not doing enough for my 7 year old right now. Any suggestions?
One thing that really helped me was an article I read about the vast difference there is in what children learn in public school. Everyone learns reading, ‘riting, and ‘rithmetic, but beyond that it varies greatly by state and even by district and school. No one is getting a “perfect” education no matter where they go (or don’t go). Everyone’s experience is different. So whether you use public, private, or homeschool – every parent needs to be active and responsible for their child’s education. Homeschool seems alot less scary after that.
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There should be a blog article about THIS VERY THING – so true and SO UNDER the radar!!!
You are so very right. Even as a classroom teacher I have fear that I will miss something important. It’s every teacher’s fear, not just the homeschooling teacher.
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I hadn’t thought of it like that before, Amy Lynne. That makes perfect sense that classroom teachers would feel the same way. Thanks so much for sharing!
You are so right about the gaps. If we keep the joy and spark of learning we will always know our children will learn….
AND that they will naturally accept responsibility for their own learning which is what gives that lifetime love of learning in my opinion.
Great article and how sad we’re so stressed or disconnected that we can’t trust we can do something we want to do for/with our children.
Honey
Thank you for this encouraging post. I struggle with knowing if I am doing the right thing, teaching the right stuff…and yes, it is not in how much we know but in how much we care. And yes, the days I slack (academically) are the days we learn life.
I am encouraged today to carry on tomorrow.
I have home schooled for 15 years and I have never seen our responsibility stated as well as you have in the last sentence! Enjoy your journey…
What a compliment, Suzie – thank you!
You must have a wealth of experience on the journey you’ve taken. Bless you and your family!
Thank you so much Jamie – I have been home educating my family for the past 8 years and I still feel like a newbie at times. I will be marking this article to read when I need to put my journey back in perspective. Thank you and keep up the good work.
And I would add to the parents’ responsibility (beside the word forgive): ‘ask for forgiveness’.
Encouraging piece!
Thanks,
Yevette
My two eldest go to public school (K and 3rd), and we have a 3-year-old as well. My husband and I have thought many times about homeschooling, but I am very nervous about the prospect. I am not worried about my and my husband’s ability to teach, but that my teaching will be dry as dust, that I won’t have the necessary patience, that I won’t be able to inspire them, and that they will feel they are missing something by not being at school with lots of kids their own age. But there are things I really want to teach them (like how to draw using Mona Brookes’ excellent book Drawing with Children), but where do I find the time? They don’t return from school until 4:00, then there is homework, sports or other commitments, dinner, baths and family time. Plus, I can’t expect them to sit down and learn something new from me when they have already spent an entire day at school. I am so conflicted ….
My girls are finishing 1st and 4th grade at public school this year and we are homeschooling next year. I have the same concerns as you but feel like we are called to step out on faith and bring our girls home. We also have a daughter who will graduate public school in December and I know her education has big holes in it so I sure can’t do worse if I love my girls and try my best to teach them how to live well.
Thank you so much for your encouragement. I will begin my homeschooling journey next year with my 5 year old son. i constantly worry about ‘gaps’ in his education, but now I see how ridiculous that is. I have huge gaps in my own education, mainly music and history, but I have always considered myself smart and well schooled. I also have a love of learning and I can educate myself in those areas if I care to.
This is excellent. Thank you so much. 🙂
As a public school teacher who is all for homeschooling. First off I have nightmares about not teaching your kids well enough!! And I’m not as in control of what and how I teach your kids as you would be. I also get sad that I’m not able to give each child the attention and support then truly need because I’m one among 20. Seriously you all can do way way better then I can in all those areas!!
In a world that so likes to put “us” against “them” – no matter what the issue may be, thank you for such gracious and encouraging words, Stacie!
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Thank you for your encouraging words. What caught my eye was that our responsibility is not to produce perfection. (I was on the nester blog.) As a mom of two graduates and one still in high school, our job is to love our children. With that responsibility, we all face many choices. When we decided to homeschool, it wasn’t as common as today. We felt that it was right for our family. Oh, but there were days. 🙂 A very wise friend told me, you will not be able to teach them everything by the time they graduate. Give them a solid foundation and love them. That comment kept us going when I wished the bus would stop and pick them up.
Moms, do not grow weary, in due season you shall reap. Those years of homeschooling are the most precious that I have.
The title of this post caught my eye and I had to come see what was being said here! My kids are all graduated now, 2 are in college. We homeschooled for 8 years. They were some of the hardest and best years of their childhood. I hated for it to come to an end.
I want to second that there will be gaps, you will not get it all right. But that is okay. One thing that we have realized as our kids went to public high school and on to college, is that we succeeded in teaching some very important things. One, is to love learning. Two, to be able to seek out and find the answers they need. And thirdly, they don’t just accept what is presented to them. They question things, not necessarily authority, but the why and how of things. They are not cookie cutter consumer Americans. They are free-thinking individuals who have a pretty good grasp on who they are and what they believe.
Thanks for sharing this post!
Bernice
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I found myself wanted to give YOU a standing ovation as I read this. Thank you. Thank you. You are right. I don’t need to be stressing about high school and science credits for my 4th grader. One day at a time…. Such a great post about keeping it all in perspective.
Thank you. We are 2 months into our homeschooling journey, and this was exactly what I needed to hear today.
Amen! I feel like I always used to be on a wheel of being overly confident then questioning how I do things and finally being overwhelmingly overwhelmed by doing too much. This year (my 4th year of homeschooling) I think I have finally realized that having these feelings is normal. No matter where I am on my “wheel of emotions” about our decisions I am always quickly reminded (by something that happens) that no matter how hard it is ALL worth it.
Also, having little ones while homeschooling is a busy season of motherhood – stick it out – change things up – sometimes being patient and understanding with the younger ones IS THE LESSON that needed to be learned that day.
-Nic, homeschooling mama to 5 awesome kid: 8, 5, 4, 2, and 5 months
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This is somewhere around my 20th year homeschooling. I have three children out and on their own and one left at home who is 14. Additionally, I have three foster children, ages 13, 11, and 5, who will probably be added to the mix permanently in the future, So, my homeschooling years continue to stretch out into the future. Sometimes it makes me tired just thinking about it. That’s when I remind myself how I’ve made it through the past 20 years…lots of prayer and one day at a time. It’s been difficult, exciting, frustrating, fun, wearisome, adventurous, time-consuming, fulfilling, and everything else in-between. I wouldn’t trade the time with my children and the experience for all the money in the world.
Thanks for this. I haven’t homeschooled for two years but I really miss it. I feel the want to homeschool but am not sure it would work with our family like it once did. 🙂
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Thank you for this. I almost did not click the link, because I thought how awful it sounded that, “I don’t want the responsibility”. But in being totally honest with myself, I know this is how I feel some days. So thank you for the encouragement, and the reminder of why I have chosen to bring my 3 children home this next school year, and that I CAN do it if I focus on one day at a time.
Jamie, this is a such a wonderful and encouraging post! Great reminder to all parents what our true responsibility is to our children.
Always good to look at the fruit of homeschooling.. I was able to give my kids the first few years of school myself – their foundation. They are in their 30’s now, and have continued to be self-taught in many different areas over the years.. from music to html.. The proof is in the pudding they say ;D (PS They also have a fair bit to say about the public school and private school experience..)
What a great article…..just what I needed! Thank you!! 🙂
I’m glad I found this. Not even sure how I stumbled upon your blog. But, this post really speaks to me.
We aren’t homeschooling – yet. My husband isn’t completely on board, although he isn’t completely against, either. My kids are 6, 5, and 3. The elementary kids have great teachers. But, every time I visit the class, I feel more strongly that teaching them at home is the way to go.
But, the responsibility terrifies me. Suplimenting and supporting what the teachers do is one thing, but to have it all on ME is sort of scary.
So, your post helps me to see that maybe, just maybe, I won’t screw up my kids!
Thank you so much for this post. I was also afraid to click the link… only because I knew it would be a pang to the heart. And it was – but in a good way. Your last statement made me tear up a little. God Bless.
Thank you for this! I needed it today as I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m glad I found your blog 🙂
I decided that I was ok with the responsibility being on my shoulders because I will ALWAYS do what I think is best for them.
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SOMEHOW, I graduated high school without taking a single day of science! How did this happen? Honestly, I don’t know.
But, I still know science stuff and I still have become a hugely successful human being!
So chill!
Good post, Jamie. I enjoyed it!
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YES. This is exactly it. Well said!
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Jamie,
I thank you for your insightful and to-the-point comments on homeschooling to encourage those to persevere if indeed they feel called to homeschool. I must admit that as a mom of four who sends her kids to public school, often these articles can feel to me demeaning and at times infuriating. As a Christian I desire more than anything to follow the Lord and His calling on my family’s life. Our family’s life manual is the Bible. And I believe He has a unique calling for each family. The Bible does say to train up our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord; but no where does it give a prescription on how we are to educate our children. I believe the Lord does this, in part, because we are too prone to replace the Gospel of salvation and sanctification by grace alone through faith alone, with a set of rules and expectations that we erect for ourselves and for others.
Your article is very gracious, but even the title hit me a little funny- taking full responsibility for your child’s education. Let me be honest- it comes across as a bit self-righteous. When we prayed about what to do with our children’s education, it was not an easy process, as it is for most parents. There were months of confusion and prayer and discussions with my husband. And each time a decision was needed, the Lord directed us to put our kids in school. I am trusting God that as I submit to my husband’s leadership (he ultimately made the decision and i was in agreement) and train my children at home, the Lord will be faithful to us and to finish the good work He began in my children. I do not trust the schools themselves; quite frankly, I do not trust myself to produce the fruit in my children that I long to see. Rather, I trust the Lord, that as we follow Him in faith, He is fully able to do in them, both academically and spiritually what is necessary so that they succeed as students and followers of Jesus Christ. Each year, I pray that my children will receive the teacher of His choice. If God used King Cyrus, a pagan king, to bless the people of Israel as they began to rebuild the wall, then surely God is able to use unbelieving teachers to do His work in my children.
On a more practical note, our home is often a place of learning, though we do not officially homeschool. I begin the day with scripture memory and prayer at the table over breakfast. I read quite often to my little one, who is still at home. This year, we held back our third and she is learning how to read before attending Kindergarten in the Fall. After school is done for my boys, the kitchen is a very busy place, full of questions and discussion scrap pieces of paper for math problems. When projects are assigned, I am very involved in the research. This is NO way, however, makes me a better mom than another mom who does not do this. And who is to say that another mom’s child, who is in public school and puts little effort into their education, will not succeed and do “better” than my child. This is called Grace, ladies. I love it because none of us deserves it. And when we look to God’s grace rather than educational choices, we are able to extend grace to each other, providing the opportunity to unite more fully with each other.
My husband and I both agree that homeschooling would be the best for our sons, but I’m so scared! I just don’t know how to start. I just know I’ll leave something out.
I love your site! I shared part of this & link on facebook. I do have friends who tell me they wished they could homeschool but are at a loss and do not think that they can. So hopefully they will read it! I did go to public school but my childhood was traumatic and school was horrible, I didnt graduate! I’m sure my Grammar says that. My husband has 2 associates degrees and is still in college, but I do the homeschooling we aren’t to English Grammar yet lol. I have lots of help and support though from books and all these wonderful sites online and your site just gives me that boost I need sometimes, reminds me that no one is perfect! we all make mistakes and learn from them. Thanks for sharing this!
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I had always wanted to homeschool but until recently just got the chance. I am homeschooling my 9 year old 3rd grade great grandson who I am raising. He was denied registration in public school because his Mother and Father do not live in my county. I could not afford the tuition so here I am, a senior, homeschooling this child. It’s not all about book learning which is taught in schools. It’s the daily education of living. Science is learning why cupcakes need eggs in the mix! Or why you need soap to dissolve greasy dishes. Homeschooling is giving a child more than what they could learn in a classroom. It also gives the child options on lessons for the day. I have only one child and can change the agenda to fit “our” needs. Most important to me is the reasons and results of what I’m teaching. And lets not forget that the children are learning at their own pace. We don’t move on until they are ready to move on. I am proud to be a homeschool educator!
I am proud of you! Feel a kinship with you; be blessed!
Great article
I’m a mom of 3 sons trying to decide to to take the leap into homeschooling.
10, 8,0 & 6 Cyr old boys…. I just need faith and I can do this!!
I have a 2 and 5 year old. We just got our 5 year old signed up to go to kindergarten at the best school in our area, but I have thought about homeschooling our kids since I became a stay at home mom 3 years ago. I have felt uneasy about sending our oldest to school in the fall. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night with this overwhelming feeling of “I need to homeschool them” and have been doing research since about 2am (it is now almost 6am).
The idea of sending my kid into schools when there are so many school shootings and kids being bullied until they commit suicide and the horrible standards our government has for our children’s education terrifies me. What also scares me is not teaching my kids everything they need to know to be assets to society, teaching them everything they need to know so they can do anything they want with their future, I haven’t even the slightest idea on how to teach my 5 year old how to read let alone algebra!
Reading some blogs is helpful but I have no idea what to do…
I got hard-core anti-homeschooled this summer by my FIL, and while the man does’t set the standard for our family in any way, it still shook me. I read here to remind myself of what I am doing and why. You just keep filling me with hope and peace. Thank you for these posts.
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I really enjoyed this blog post so much. We are planning to send our kids to public school, but I’m so concerned about their education – and they are still toddlers! Your blog post was so encouraging. I would love to see a blog post for ways to supplement a child’s education if you are not homeschooling. I’m kinda all or nothing – all homeschooling or not – so it would be a good perspective to see ways I can help foster learning at home.
You’ll find that here, Bethany: http://simplehomeschl.wpengine.com/afterschool/
Hi
These are all questions I asked myself. And everyday is a new day and challenge. It is important to question and have faith. I like how you mentioned the future brings fear. Not knowing and trying to get their sooner does not help. One day at a time.
I started a new blog and I am also learning. I like your site.
homeschoolingmamacita.blogspot.com
To add to the idea that children are still left behind despite all of the legislation and money propping the system up, children are often kept behind because the enrichment just isn’t as available or possible in the traditional school. My kiddos aren’t school-aged yet but this is a concern of mine as we consider our future options. Enrichment is a responsibility I’m willing to take on.
This was so helpful! Every paragraph filled with wisdom. Thank you.
I see the date on this article and the comments that follow and I see it’s been here for awhile. But it is exactly what I needed TODAY.
Circumstances beyond my control from the past year, have nearly made me want to hang up my homeschooling hat of 17 yrs. for good. And then…I stumbled across this and thank God for this timely message. I have 3 daughter’s two graduated and my 3rd daughter is about to become a Senior in high school. And I find myself repeating the same things I did with my girls when they were about to start their senior years.
“Is it enough?” being my biggest question. And after reading this, I’m sure it is.
I have raised beautiful, Godly young women, who were ready to take on the world.
I have taught them that beauty comes from within and a beautiful inside gives way to a beautiful outside. I’ve taught them to love people and to give them grace.
I’ve encouraged them to chase after their dreams and not somebody elses.
To have faith, believe in who they are, believe in each other and believe in something bigger than yourself, so that you can give back to those in need.
And to always know that they can’t do any of it without God.
And of course I’ve taught them the 3 R’s, so they should be alright! 😉
Thank you for your insight and thoughtful message! I feel like it was just for me! 🙂
Beautiful, Melissa!
Thank you jamie, your article soo inspiring . Especially i read it when i feel burn out with my homeschool kid.
Thank you for sharing this. I am terrified about and excited about homeschooling this year.
I really appreciate these words. I have homeschooled for seven years, and the weight of my kids’ educations feels heavy sometimes. But you’re right- It’s a parent’s responsibility to educate our children no matter which method we choose. That gave me the perspective I needed today. Thanks!
We haven’t started homeschooling yet. But every time I need encouragement to move forward with our plan, an article on your site helps me. Thank you.
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These made my evening feel better. I’ve been homeschooling my child for 2 years now and today was one of those stressful days. I also teach full time. Teaching in a classroom and teaching your own child are completely different. It doesn’t help that I’m typically tired after work. We are sending our kids to private school next year. It does help to hear that I’m not the only one who has stressful days while homeschooling. Thank you so much for sharing!
I agree so much with your suggestion that as parents we hold a responsibility for our children’s education. Maybe it’s because your blog is about homeschooling specifically, but this list does seem to suggest that homeschooling is the ultimate way to take that responsibility in hand. I am currently homeschooling my sons and I help tutor math for other homeschool parents, but I also work with many private school and public school students whose parents are not by any stretch shirking off their responsibilities by sending their kids to a more traditional education environment. I would extend encouragement to parents everywhere that choosing which way to educate your children is a personal decision and what is “best” will vary quite widely depending on each child’s needs and requirements. I’ve seen parents who would not need to be homeschooling for reasons as simple as they are single parents and they need to work during school hours. I’ve also seen parents who are homeschooling and their kids are not being well educated. So the method doesn’t provide the responsibility. Parents have to take responsibility, then choose the method that works best for their situation and resources.
I am currently considering homeschooling my 5yo. One of my biggest concerns is that I have an 11mo also and wonder if I will have the time to dedicate to both kiddos. I would love to hear from others that have children with this age gap and how it works for them. Thank you so much for this post and this blog! It has such great information in it for those of us still on the fence. ????
I’m thinking about homeschooling my 2nd and 5th grader. I have tried private schools they are currently in public school. By far public school is a disaster. Common Core is not really doing any justice to our kids. My kids are not mastering any subject. They are just robots that are following a fast curriculum that is killing creativity, the desire to learn and the fun in academics. Not a happy mom!
Delia, you might find this post helpful too: http://simplehomeschl.wpengine.com/how-to-homeschool/
I’m thinking about homeschooling. Just dipping my toe into thinking about it. I know the only thing holding me back is FEAR, but I know that I won’t be worse than school. It’s fun to dream about unrushed days.
Thank you Jaime, I needed this today. <3
I’ve been homeschooling for years and years (and have THREE homeschool grads)…but when I saw this link I had to click it. Some days I just want to be a dragon and have NO responsibility! Other days, I want to design worksheets! 🙂
I loved reading this! I’m a public school teacher who wants to homeschool my own kids and even though I’m an “expert”, the responsibility still feels scary at times. These are great reminders of what education is really about and our roles in it!
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Hi ladies!
I wanted to bring up a unique situation. My Mom homeschooled 9, yes 9, children. She was not homeschooled. We 9, her children, had very little idea the amount of work that went into homeschooling. She had three things on her side. My Dad was supportive… actually it was his idea. My Dad was a rancher and so their were plenty of farm chores and horses and animals to keep us all busy. My Mom worked part time as a nurse and she and my Dad agreed that ALL of her income would be her homeschooling resource. This unique situation is exactly the sort of thing that Homeschooling is all about. Using what is available to you to support your child in learning. Now… twenty or so years later my siblings and I have kids. Some of them have quite a few kids. My Brother has 5, my sister has 4, two other sisters have 2, another sister has 1, All of us homeschool. Which makes our kids second generation homeschoolers and if they homeschool… you get the picture. I’ve got 3 kids… I’m 27 years old… and I have done so little for myself since being an adult. This is my question. Since me and my siblings weren’t schooled at a public school we rarely think of sending our kids to school (any kind of school) as a resource. Sometimes we get caught in the trap of trying to do everything ourselves. How as Homeschool Mom’s can we make sure that our own energy wells are full. How can we be more creative with our resources (and trust me we are incredibly creative people!). We love homeschooling… we’re all just so damn exhausted! My Mom is now a frazzled little shell of herself who literally lives in her head. I don’t want to be like that when I’m finished with my own homeschool journey. I’ve got 3 kids… I’m 27 years old… and I’ve done so little for myself in my life. I love my education I’ve gained through homeschool. I feel like I have no issue tackling big projects, working hard, I’m very social and can hold my own in conversations with people who have multiple PHD’s and I can say the same for my siblings… but my Mom’s octopus method of sacrificing her vitality is not how I want to approach homeschooling… but more and more I feel like my kids are running my life and that worthwhile things like a meaningful career and even just having time to think without one of my kids telling me to come help them for the 109th time are all starting to seem beyond my grasp. I really am terrified that like my Mom, I’ll over do it and give so much, that there won’t be anything left and no way to replenish. What are some ideas to taking some of that pressure off the parents?
Actually, Ladies! And I should add… Gents.
As I was bathing my 9 mo. Old I had some quiet inspiration. Usually when I bathe the baby she is splashing and lunging for the shiny faucet. She’s strong and it’s a big effort to keep her from smacking her forehead on the faucet. In short… it’s a struggle! This time she got hungry, and since I’m still nursing and since the in sink baby tub is the right height I nursed her while rinsing her off. Then something really magical happened. This little, busy body became so still…. the gentle water was warming her back and while she was enjoying warm milk and a warm bath she snuggled into my arms and was, for the first time in a Loooooong time, content. My kids are busy busy busy. My husband is busy, I was raised by busy people and being busy is praised… a lot. I realized that we take so little time to be still, to connect and to be content with the progress we have made! Another answer to my question earlier is that joining a support group is vital. Other home school Mom’s, friends, family, clubs… etc. within balance can all provide relief to the exhausted parent (weather home school or no)… and lastly… you can never be too organized. Mind you organization is different than scheduling. Scheduling hour to hour time sheets destroys the aura of education we are seeking to place around our children. But organizing by taking time to consider the following day or the past week allows us to problem solve and be prepared for those moments when one child says ‘my shorts have holes in them, fix it Mommy.’ Now I can respond… ‘let me teach you how to fix them… let’s go buy a sewing kit.’ Not because I scheduled in Teach Sewing
But because I am capable of teaching my child how to problem solve and how to be ok with her efforts.