Once I Was a Homeschool Influencer ~
Written by Jamie C. Martin of Simple Homeschool and Introverted Moms
Once upon a time I was a homeschool influencer.
I wrote posts that were often shared by thousands, sometimes by tens or hundreds of thousands. This probably won’t be one of them.
Prefer to listen instead?
Those posts, written about a decade ago, described a new (to us) way to educate, one that revolved around home. Books, cooking, nature, family.
As a mom with young kids, I discovered this lifestyle right alongside my readers. I shared not as an expert, but a fellow sojourner.
Together we found that learning didn’t always have to look like school, that even the path to reading fluency could be less painful, more holistic. Some children wouldn’t even need to be taught to read, the research suggested, but would learn on their own or with minimal help.
Those words were a lifeline. After all, learning to read is the starting line of the home education marathon, one early proof that you’re not ruining your children.
For two of my kids, the research proved true. But for my youngest, with a long list of adoption-related special needs, it hasn’t.
I’ve been actively teaching this child to read for NINE years. My son, who just turned 17, is still not a fluent reader. He may never be.
At this point the research goes silent. These aren’t the kind of posts that go viral, I can assure you. We won’t be posing as the poster family for homeschooling success anytime soon.
Yet if I could go back, the only thing I’d really change are my expectations.
The philosophy of relationship-centered homeschooling holds up, because it’s virtually the same for a child of any ability, whether they’re headed to Harvard or Home Depot.
It’s one of unconditional love and lifelong support, and how can that ever steer you wrong?
As parents we don’t call the shots, can’t determine outcomes. We sacrifice, day by day, year after year. We believe our unseen efforts will bear fruit, even when we can’t currently see any.
It may not make us glamorous or enviable influencers, but it will make us humble and faithful.
Maybe that’s the exact fruit God intended all along.
What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!
Weekend homeschool links: April 8th
Thank you for your honesty! Yes, homeschooling looks different when you have a child who struggles.
You’re so welcome!
I was following along on the homeschooling journey with you, and remember getting your blog in my email, and forwarding it to friends! LOL
Sometimes I think I failed because my 20 year old just works at Walmart. But then I remember how hard life is for him due to autism and OCD, and I thank God he’s doing so well. I’m so proud of my son. And I’m so grateful for all the time we had together and the friendship he has with his younger brother too.
So good. Maybe one of your very best posts. Being faithful is small things.
Thank you, Crystal, and yes, so true!
This is such a great post. I want to follow the faithfulness and simplicity of this, but I’m not feeling very good at it right now. Admitting this is a good place to begin.
I so appreciate you being Real in this. I’m currently grieving because our homeschool journey didn’t look at all like I imagined, and we’ve decided to send the kids back to school next year. My oldest has had severe mental health struggles the past three years, which really upended the atmosphere of our home. I have tried to roll with it, adjust expectations, try again, try again, try again, but I feel completely burned out, disappointed, and defeated. I am feeling that he needs me to just be “Mom,” without any academic expectations or conditions attached to our relationship for a while. I wanted to make this work so badly, but I’m trying not to let my pride get in the way of what I think will be best for my son, me, and the rest of the family. I love your blog so much, it has been such a source of peace and inspiration, and I will continue to read even as a Former Homeschooler!
Oh Colleen – sending a huge wave of love and support your way! This is completely the essence of homeschooling – doing what we feel is best for our kids and family, even when it’s really, really hard.
I pray that your heart would be able to receive the truth of all you have invested in your son and that those watered-with-tears seeds you’ve planted WILL bear fruit, even if it looks very different to what you imagined. xo
Have been enjoying your blog since the beginning of my homeschool journey and now in June my son and daughter will graduate. Homeschooling is an amazing blessing and not without challenges to meet the needs of each child individually. Thank you for always sharing your heart with the beauty of homeschooling even in the reality of challenges. Blessings to you!
And to you, too, G! Thanks for being a faithful reader all those years – may you be able to rejoice in the good work you have done for your kiddos as they graduate!
My heart needed this so much today.
I’m so glad it was a gift to you, Holly. xo
I agree with above-maybe one of your best and most authentic posts. I have blogged throughout the years and try to let people know that we write the good and the beautiful. The struggles we try to manage and protect our children from the world seeing. We have a family full of struggles. Archaeologically, humans have only been reading and writing for a short period of time. I remind my family of this often. We all thrive in our own way. As parents, we help our kids find the ways in which the thrive. You definitely embrace your children for who they are are and where they are in their journey. We are both nearing the end of the homeschooling journey with our own families. I am pretty sure all of our children will bring light into the world.
As a mom of six with 2 autistic kids it helps to be teminded that how we determine success is variable. I remember 15 years ago when my first kid was disgnised a fellow Mom told me to think about it as accepting the fact that perhaps my kid was destined not to go to Paris and live a dazzling life but go to Holland and live a quiet one. Both journeys are okay just different. On hard days I remind myself that my goal is that they can have successful relationships and someday end up in heaven.
Yes, beautiful words, Kerry!
This is my first time reading your blog and this post really resonated with me. I also experienced failure in teaching kids to read…for 6 years! However, I was not a homeschooling mom, but a Special Ed. teacher working in the public schools. At first I blamed myself and my inexperience. Then I blamed my students. (I cringe to think about it even now.) The good news is that I was wrong on both counts. The problem was that I was using the wrong approach. Since then, I have been trained in two structured literacy approaches, (Wilson and Orton-Gillingham). Only after I began implementing them, did my students learn to read. Structured literacy was my “Pearl of Great Price.” Once I discovered it, I left my Special Ed. job and now tutor kids online using the Orton-Gillingham approach. I want to make sure you know that if your son didn’t learn to read on schedule, it was not your fault and had nothing to do with your decision to homeschool. If you had sent your son to public school and I was teaching him, he wouldn’t have learned either! Sad but true! One thing I have learned is that it is NEVER too late for a child to learn to read. Wilson reading was invented for the purpose of teaching adults to read. Keep fighting the good fight! Wishing you and your son many blessings!
This means so much, Kathleen. Thank you!
I homeschooled in the 80’s. Parenting/motherhood/homeschooling can’t be done perfectly. We’re imperfect. I loved those days, though. One of my daughters homeschooled for a season. Her daughter is having trouble in school and has transferred to more of an unschool. She’s ecstatic at the thought of no more busywork. She heard about sewing at school, came home and asked her mom to teach her. Mom got her started and she made a pillow! ❤️ Learning can be a lifelong joy. Don’t beat yourself up if you didn’t get each thing correct. Even the child who was rebellious actually was listening to what I said and has good sense as a grownup 😊