Written by Purva Brown
When I first made the decision to homeschool, I dreaded August and September. Looking through my Facebook feed once brought me to tears. It had been an especially rough day. The children were little and making messes. I hadn’t had a break; I had been constantly interrupted.
And there in my news feed, was the constant drip of friends gloating about the day their children went back to school. One mentioned eating ice cream for breakfast and jumping on beds. Another said she and her husband played video games all morning after dropping the children off.
Le sigh.
I looked around my messy home and, in that moment, I hated my life. I saw my parenting years stretched ahead of me, a dreary corridor of drudgery. No independence, no alone time and someone constantly pulling on my elbow demanding attention.
Eight years later, I realize how wrong I was. Those tiny hands, which once needed attention, are now busy doing their own thing. I have lost nothing and have gained so much by homeschooling:
Why not back to school? (for your children)
When I was moaning, I forgot my children would not remain small. Someday, they wouldn’t need assistance to reach the countertop and they wouldn’t need hand-holding. They would just need my guidance and support.
The sheer amount of time my children have today gives them the freedom to pursue what interests them. As I say often on my blog, a homeschooler’s two biggest assets are time and liberty. We are discovering that first-hand.
My daughter likes to bake. She spends her days looking for recipes, planning menus and baking. My middle son enjoys puzzles, so he uses most of his free time playing video games and doing extra math work (yes, you read that right!) in the online program we use. He also loves trivia and reads facts to spout at dinner.
And the littlest one? Well, he’s still Mr. Chaos, but loves to spend time with the older two, watching and learning. He hangs on his older brother’s every word and makes him feel important.
This camaraderie would be impossible in a traditional school, where they would be straight-jacketed into doing what’s most expedient. Instead we have freedom. I am here as support while they explore what makes them tick.
Homeschooling gives my children the opportunity to learn at the speed of life and at the speed of their individual interests; not at some predetermined grade and age levels. It gives them a chance to become best friends with each other.
Why not back to cchool? (For you, yes, you!)
While I was throwing my personal pity party, I never imagined our current quiet mornings where the children wake up and make themselves breakfast while I work on transcription files.
We begin “school work” later in the morning, after chores. We get to decide our routine, not a school. Our education is not limited to books, and it’s definitely not just for our children. Both my husband and I make time to learn new things, enroll in courses, give ourselves assignments.
This life is impossible in a traditional setting where mornings are busy, everyone is locked in for the day away from each other, and evenings become a rush to get homework, dinner and chores done. Where’s the free time? No one is on Facebook talking about this on back to school day!
Homeschooling can give you time to yourself while giving you an opportunity to grow right along with your children. No need to send them away. I wish I had known that.
All this to say…
If you feel disheartened by the picture of the mom in the pool clutching a margarita on back to school day while you wipe spit-up off your shirt, remember: This won’t last forever. It will get better.
And one day, you’ll look back and laugh at your old self. You’ll celebrate a “Not Back to School” day. Heck, maybe you’ll celebrate a month. Or a year.
Or, just maybe, a life.
What do you love most about NOT heading “back to school?”
What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!
Jen @ Bookish Family
Besides all the wonderful positives of homeschooling, I also love NO homework or dealing with school schedules and paperwork! Also, enough time for piano lessons and soccer without feeling like a crazy lady.
Purva Brown
YES!!! No homework is the best thing!
Purva Brown’s latest post: Homeschooling is Antifragile
Debbie
Beautiful post! Thanks for writing! One of my favorites of not going back to school is that the center of gravity in my children’s lives stays in the family. We dress up or take a trip or do a project or take a day off based on the needs and interest of our family, instead of scrambling to keep up with a schedule and events that are completely arbitrary to us. The pride we feel in the life we are living belongs to our family not a school name or a mascot etc. It feels authentic and I love that they get to grow up that way!
Purva Brown
Absolutely.
Purva Brown’s latest post: Homeschooling is Antifragile
Jessica
Thank you so much for this article. I can’t tell you enough about how it came at the most opportune time. We had a less-than-stellar first day of homeschool yesterday. I struggle with anxiety and over the past few weeks I have been struggling a lot not with my ability to homeschool – I love teaching and I was homeschooled myself – but with the thought of having them at home all the time and not having quieter mornings where I can accomplish things around the house or move forward with my writing plans, etc. I have two girls with another on the way and they’ve also been bickering a lot lately and going through a “random owies” phase and the past few days it seemed like every 10-15 minutes, someone was crying about something. I’m in an extra hormonal stage of pregnancy and that was just mounting my anxiety even more and causing my nerves to feel very frayed. At one point I thought about taking my daughter to the elementary school to sign her up for kindergarten and just say “She’ll be fine there for one year.” But last night I thought of how hard it would be every morning trying to make sure we were all up and ready to go for school, especially when my youngest still has trouble sleeping at times and then with a newborn in just a few short months? I can see tired nights and my daughter already struggles with focus, in part because of her ADHD and in part because she’s extremely smart and tends to take everything in so her need for plenty of rest is probably a bit higher than the average kid, which could be harder in a more rigidly structured environment. Now if we need to have a day where she naps or doesn’t do as much as other days, we have that freedom and I can rest peacefully knowing she’s not going to be behind or get a bad grade because something didn’t get done in another person’s timeframe. Several other things came to mind too that reminded me of all the reasons we’d made the best decision for our family. Your post was such a good reminder that these little years won’t last for a long time. Now I can treasure the things to treasure but also remind myself that soon enough the girls won’t be getting on each other’s nerves about every little thing as they mature and grow in Christ, and they’ll be doing a lot more on their own – which I can also teach them more consistently without feeling rushed trying to do drop-offs and pickup, piles of homework, trying to fit in extra activities only in certain times of day, etc. I’m starting to feel a lot more relaxed and excited about this journey.
Kat
Jessica, I was reading your response and it resonated with me. As long as we know at the end of the day that with Christ we can get through and those moments of trying and frustration only last for a little while; it will pass.
Purva Brown
This is so true. I love watching my kids sleep in and thinking, Wow, we would have to be up and going at this time. It’s nice that we get our quiet mornings and can make the most of our time.
Purva Brown’s latest post: Homeschooling is Antifragile
autismwithgrace
I love Home Schooling. My daughter went to public school for a few years and she just couldn’t handle it. She is autistic and the chaos of school was to much for her. At home we can go at our own pace and I know that she is doing ok because I am with her.
Purva Brown
Peace and quiet is the best reason to homeschool.
Purva Brown’s latest post: Homeschooling is Antifragile