Written by Sarah Mackenzie of Amongst Lovely Things
No one likes to be outnumbered. If you’re in a soccer match and the other team has more players on the field than you, it feels like defeat before you begin.
I don’t just have more children than I do hands- I have more children than I do appendages. Juggling three kids under three while trying to teach my older three (13, 11, 9) was my biggest struggle last year, and it was a doozy, if I do say so myself.
And I do.
Being outnumbered is daunting enough. But to have three toddlers? All at once? That’s a madhouse even if you aren’t trying to teach the oldest pre-algebra and cover the details and implications of The Louisiana Purchase at the same time.
My friend Trina recently said that the difference between surviving and thriving is the simple act of savoring… there is always something sweet worth leaning into. And I think she’s right.
The temptation I faced all year long was to default to survival mode. “It’s really hard,” I would tell myself, “but it’s only for a season. Soon it will be over, and we’ll have calmer days. We’ll be able to get to that history project or read that book together or do more than merely hang on for the ride each day.”
But there’s no savoring in a statement like that. And anyway, I don’t have any grace for tomorrow- for that “someday” when I don’t have toddlers underfoot anymore.
I don’t have grace for it because it’s not my reality.
This. Now.
These toddlers, emptying the kitchen cupboards onto the floor, again. Pulling books off shelves with wild abandon. Filling their diggers with scoopfuls of dirt in the backyard and unloading them into little piles on my kitchen table. Again.
And lest you think my toddlers are the only hard ones, my school-age children picture-perfect, let me disabuse you from that way of thinking. She’s crying over her math lesson. He’s not even trying to name those notes correctly in his piano book. There’s complaining. Bickering. Eye rolling.
Here. Now.
This is what I have grace for. This moment, where I am pulled in too many different directions and I’m unsure of how to proceed, this is what I can turn into a thriving moment by simply learning to savor it.
This past school year, I’ve simplified to such bare bones that on numerous occasions, I’ve had to stop and really consider if home was still the best place for my kids to learn.
There was a lot of doubt. A lot of overwhelm. I cried. It was all probably exacerbated because I’d just written a whole book on teaching from rest and unshakable peace.
I got to live that book in a refining-fire kind of way, and it was hard.
My homeschool does not look like yours. It is quite likely far less impressive than your own. Last year, we didn’t do any riveting hands-on projects or super exciting trips. We read aloud together, but not nearly as much as I would have liked. We made some progress in math, though not nearly as much as I hoped.
Frankly, there is nothing out of the ordinary or wildly impressive about doing the daily things. Math problems, listening to the history audio book, capitalizing proper nouns, hashing out a spelling list.
I’m finding that the hardest part of homeschooling with toddlers and babies underfoot is that the vision that lived in my head since I first dreamed up this crazy idea to homeschool looks nothing like my reality.
There aren’t really that many field trips. I don’t feel like my kids have hours upon hours to pursue their passions. Much of our day is doing the next math problem, writing the next spelling word, putting away the laundry, sweeping the entryway floor.
It’s daily and ordinary and not the spectacular, passionate kind of lifestyle that I once dreamed it to be.
But I’m okay with that. Finally. Maybe?
I’m still working on being okay with that.
Because I have grace for this life, this reality, not the one I fancy. The savoring happens in the now.
What has helped me to savor, amidst the daily chaos:
- Simplifying the schedule
Because it doesn’t really matter if we have the most beautiful, carefully thought-out plan if there aren’t enough hours in the day to get to it.
- Simplifying the curriculum
It boils down to stepping off the crazy train, rethinking the model we are operating under, and intentionally setting out to participate in slow, sane education.
- Using spiral notebooks to simplify homeschooling
The best homeschool hack I’ve ever stumbled across cost me 10 cents and 10 minutes. And then it saved my homeschool.
It may not be the wildly elaborate and inspired set of homeschooling plans, the most beautiful vision I had dreamed up. But it’s our reality. It’s our life, our education, and it’s what we have to savor today.
Next year, I very likely will be up against the same challenges. Rather than chasing after 1- and 2- year olds, I’ll be chasing 2- and 3. Based on the last month’s happenings, I’m not thinking that’s going to be a mite easier.
But I’ll make things as simple as possible. I’ll let my kids lose themselves in books to round out the edges and fill in the gaps.
And I’ll trust that He’s got this, even when I’m not enough, even when I mess up, and even when the day spins off its tracks and looks nothing like I wanted it to.
Because He does. Because I’m not. Because I will. And it will too.
And that’s worth savoring.
Babies and toddlers — whew! How are you savoring these messy, crazy days?
This post is part of our Hardest Part of my Homeschool Year series.
Homeschooling an angry child: The hardest part of Jamie’s homeschool year
Sarah,
Your year sounds much like mine. Ours was so difficult I actually pursued a job and was ready to put the kids in school. I was completely convinced that private school was far better than the chaos we experienced at home. Even though I was offered a job a small Christian school and my kids would attend there too, my husband knew it would be too much for me (we six kids too). I turned down the job. This summer I have been listening to your read aloud revival podcast and a cd from our local homeschooling conference. Slowly the lord has restored my heart and given me his eyes once again to see the value and the importance in what i am doing here. It has been a very hard journey. With two toddlers, a kindergartner, 1st, 2nd and 4th grader the task seemed daunting and overwhelming. I have no clue what this year will turn out like but I do know that i am approaching this completely different than i did last year. I am simplifying and bc of our current living situation i am going to try and out source as much work as possible. As you said in the post, this isn’t my ideal. This isn’t my version of my homeschooling dream being played out. This is reality and were living it out right here and right now. I can either be frustrated and angry everyday or I can savor each passing moment knowing,as I’ve already seen with my olders, that time does fly and my toddlers won’t be this innocent forever. I praise god for your ministry. Your post and RAR bless my life so much. Thank you for your honesty and transparency.
Sarah,
A friend turned me on to your blog a while back. I have two boys (12, 8) that I removed from public school last year and we homeschool. Homeschooling was something I never believed I was equipped to do myself. My oldest son has 4 diagnosed mental disabilities and that was something that scared me to even attempt to handle myself. After a lot of prayer regarding his school performance, God changed my heart and mind. Between homeschooling and his therapies, we have been blessed and he is thriving. There are still ‘those days’, on both our parts–but we are hanging in there. Whenever I feel the pinch of stress, I visit your page (or book on my kindle!) to help find a place of rest and suggestions .
Simple. That word calls to me. We are starting our second try at homeschooling this September and I’m using much of your wisdom. Simplify the curriculum, the schedule, and use notebooks. Thank you for the advice you give!
Thank you for this post! We will be starting school this week, and I’m beginning to doubt that we will survive what the year holds for our family. My school-aged girls are 10 and 8 and we have a 4, 2, and 3 month old, so this is just what I needed to read. Thriving is what I would much rather do and it truly is all about perspective. Thank you, Sarah. You are an inspiration!
I hear you! It’s always been a struggle for me too. But, yeah, He’s just there to help us get through “those” days. Great post!
homeschool curriculum
Love this article, I have been simplifying our homeschool since reading your articles all summer. I have dropped unnecessary subjects, started using the notebook method (ours is a composition notebook) and started spending more time reading aloud…. and oh the peace! We only have 1 toddler underfoot right now but it still took some serious adjusting. I love simplicity, I now realize less is more…. As a homeschooler that can sometimes be a hard lesson to learn .
This is a wonderful article. Thank you for being transparent and real so that others (me!) can be inspired by you. I am a busy mom of 6 as well: 11, 9,7,5,3, and 7 months. Four boys makes my house pretty rambunctious. I love having a big family but it is the hardest job I have ever had to do in my life! So rewarding yet challenging. Smiles and frowns within seconds of each other. I find the joy in the midst of the chaos. Enjoy your journey…every moment you can. Blessings.
I’m really enjoying reading your articles. My mom had twins, and I remember those crazy days since I was old enough to be heavily involved. Both my parents are teachers, and my siblings and I all were, to some degree, home schooled. I’m starting my own family now and always on the lookout for resources. So happy to have found you! I was pointed in your direction by MyHumbleKitchen.
Thank you so very much! Jamie, thank you for the e-mail I received last week. Coming just a few days prior to beginning our homeschool year, it was so timely. Thank you for listing all of the “Hardest Part of My Homeschool Year” series in so perfectly organized a fashion that it was easy to locate THIS post. Sarah, thank you for this post!!! This past year, through foster care (and outside of foster care), our family has grown from 2 children, to 6 children (and a grandbaby). This fall, I began my homeschool year with a 7 year old, a 5 year old, a 2 1/2 year old, a 23 month old, and a 16 month old. Three Toddlers and two to homeschool. Your post could not have been more relatable…pragmatic…affirming…encouraging! Sincerely, thank you! Love to you both! Prayers for your families and rich blessings!
Thank you so much for this post. Here I am past midnight with my hubby out of town after a long day of homeschooling my 6 kiddos ages 12-4 months and wondering why I got this crazy idea 12 years ago to homeschool. Between resolving arguments, cleaning up messes, feeding lots of mouths, and helping work through schooling meltdowns at the end of the day I didn’t fee like there was much education happening or joy felt today. Tomorrow I will choose to savor more and not give up on this crazy, beautiful life the Lord is helping me create.